sb123 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I was with my boyfriend for almost two years when he blindsided me with a break-up. He said he just was unhappy with me. (this was shortly after he transferred schools to be with me and started talking about marriage.) We have been through a lot together (my father's death, his parents divorce) and we really were once happy together. My ex said he just needed space and wanted to see if he could do college on his own. His fraternity brothers said initially he was a complete mess, but met someone and they quickly entered a relationship. We've had no contact for almost two months, but I don't want to get over him. (it's kind of an immature thought, but I can't imagine opening myself up again to another person.) His mom says he's happy in his new relationship, but it just doesn't seem real. I figure it's a rebound, but i'm still devastated over the fact that he could "move-on" so quickly. He doesn't even seem like the same person anymore and if we happen to see each other out and about (which happens when you are from the same hometown and then go to the same college) he sure that i know i'm unwelcomed and unwanted. I know I should just move on, but the person I dated was completely different. I miss the old him and I want him back. I can't accept anything else.
Tdog123 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I know how you feel, i was in a 4 and half year relationship and broke up 3 months ago, she is now in a new relationship and it just sucks how they can move on so fast, im not sure my ex is in a rebound but doesnt matter at the end of the day they chose them. im not very good at giving out advice i just like to listen to it so im sorry for what your going through but if it makes you feel any better you are not alone unfortunately
aisuru Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 You must accept that it's over. Pick yourself up and live your life. Take care of yourself. Don't think about him. Don't contact him. Don't contact his family or friends. Move on. Someday, you'll find somebody better. Then you might break up again, hurt, and find somebody again. Rinse, repeat. You're young. Don't waste your time on this guy who is not thinking of you like you are thinking of him.
Minneloa Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 We've had no contact for almost two months, but I don't want to get over him. His mom says he's happy in his new relationship, but it just doesn't seem real. I know I should just move on, but the person I dated was completely different. I miss the old him and I want him back. I can't accept anything else. I am sorry you are hurting. Breakups can be so devastating. That said, I think what you are experiencing is the denial phase of grief, where your mind and heart are struggling to integrate the loss into your reality. Unfortunately, you cannot have the old him back. That person is gone. The more you cling to the idea of him, the more you set yourself back. I know you say you don't want to move on, but what other option do you have? I urge you to shift your thinking a little. You say that he now snubs you in public. That seems rude and uncalled for. Perhaps if you allow yourself to get angry at his current behavior towards you, you will be able to see his flaws as well as his good points. I know it's not easy, and I am sorry for your loss. Sending good thoughts, M. 2
ThatJustHappened Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I was with my boyfriend for almost two years when he blindsided me with a break-up. He said he just was unhappy with me. (this was shortly after he transferred schools to be with me and started talking about marriage.) We have been through a lot together (my father's death, his parents divorce) and we really were once happy together. My ex said he just needed space and wanted to see if he could do college on his own. His fraternity brothers said initially he was a complete mess, but met someone and they quickly entered a relationship. We've had no contact for almost two months, but I don't want to get over him. (it's kind of an immature thought, but I can't imagine opening myself up again to another person.) His mom says he's happy in his new relationship, but it just doesn't seem real. I figure it's a rebound, but i'm still devastated over the fact that he could "move-on" so quickly. He doesn't even seem like the same person anymore and if we happen to see each other out and about (which happens when you are from the same hometown and then go to the same college) he sure that i know i'm unwelcomed and unwanted. I know I should just move on, but the person I dated was completely different. I miss the old him and I want him back. I can't accept anything else. I'm sorry you're hurting..but you have no say in whether or not he wants you back. It's your choice if you want to stall your life and wait for him..but it won't bring him back. It will just make you miserable..while he will move on and be fine. It'll make no difference in his life if you are waiting for him if he doesn't want you.
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