Author LilySun Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Yes I didn't intend to sound as though I place 100% blame on him, or that he is sme terrible person. We have both done things to contribute to a result like this, over time. However if there had to be a good guy and bad guy in every story, well of course he is the one perceived as "bad", usually. He and I just have entirely different views and emotionally very different also.
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yes I didn't intend to sound as though I place 100% blame on him, or that he is sme terrible person. We have both done things to contribute to a result like this, over time. However if there had to be a good guy and bad guy in every story, well of course he is the one perceived as "bad", usually. He and I just have entirely different views and emotionally very different also. Incompatibilities. Yup, this is what drove a wedge between me and my ex as well. The problem, is that you don't see them or care about them early on. Then, by the time you recognize or acknowledge them, it's too late. You're emotionally invested. Now comes the PAIN... At least, this is what happened to me...
Leeway Harris Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 But that is like saying an abused woman is at fault for a man hitting her. This is no different,.except I'm luckily not in a situation where I was hit or stuck there. I don't blame him for everything, never have. I have always been the type to fess up to my own mistakes. However I always called him out on his, which he refused to take reaponsibility for. Me on the other hand, has no shame about my own faults and make effort to change accordingly. I also explained that I saw things from his point of view, at times. He was not appreciative that I am this way, and he is not this way himself. So I've just finally realized our differences won't ever find a way to mesh. If it makes any difference, I think you're handling it in a pretty mature way. I think my ex feels the same way about me as you do about this guy. I wasn't ready to commit to her at the same level as she was. But instead of saying "This isn't working for me anymore," she let all this anger build up inside her until it blew up in both our faces. And I found out she's still carrying around all this hate and anger for me, even after several months of no contact. So you're doing the right thing, even though it's really hard, just remember you're making a positive decision for yourself and it will be better in the long run.
imtooconfused Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Incompatibilities. Yup, this is what drove a wedge between me and my ex as well. The problem, is that you don't see them or care about them early on. Then, by the time you recognize or acknowledge them, it's too late. You're emotionally invested. Now comes the PAIN... At least, this is what happened to me... That's why they say "love is blind." When the love fades a bit, the vision becomes clearer. It's inevitable. 1
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