Ani Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I can finally say our relationship is finally over since last Wednesday. Things were going on great the last few months, we were hardly arguing, and visited each other 3 times. Well I flew to visit her. This Wednesday though she ended it because she missed being single, she missed flirting with other guys. Heck today she told me she likes the other guy. Completely destroyed me. The reason behind leaving me was because I was always there for her. I was always helping her when she need me. She said I changed to much for her. Said she wasn't physically attracted to me but that the new guy is smoking hot. From what she has told me I know that guy, I considered him a friend. Sucks to know that I loved this girl with all my heart and soul, together for 3 years and she is over me in less then a day. Can't stop crying, which is the worst part.
umirano Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I'm very sorry to hear that. Maybe I should be glad that my girl is driving me away. It'll hurt less when it's my turn. Like you I was totally crazy about her. I am still helping her and there for her all the time. She not so much. Good for you that you were able to post here. That shows you've accepted it to a certain extent. There's nothing much you can do. And in a few months, you'll be able to see that you even wouldn't want to do anything about it. Better not being in a RS with her if she feels for someone else. Also, you can be glad that it happened now. At least she isn't a cheat and had the guts to end it with you. I know nothing of what I say reduces the pain. I'm sorry again. Get out and distracted. All the best! 1
CherryT Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I'm so sorry. In hindsight, you will see that she did you a favor. If she is leaving you because you were always there for her for some guy who's "smoking hot", she'll be sorry in the long run. Looks fade, but a true gentleman will not. Many girls don't realize nor understand the importance of a partner until they don't have one. Just know that you were a stand-up guy in your relationship and you shouldn't be ashamed of being there for someone. Someone who appreciates that will walk into your life... 1
justwhoiam Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 She missed being single = If that is true, she won't rush into a new relationship, but that might also mean "I'd rather see myself single than with you", in which case she might be soon with someone else. She missed flirting with other guys = This sounds really bad to me, better lost than found. Unless she's 16. She likes the other guy = Grass is always greener... maybe it's not. She will find out. The reason behind leaving me was because I was always there for her = Did you turn into a doormat? Because I can see how unappealing that is... But most likely, she was not that much into you... I was always helping her when she need me = That's a good quality for a friend, but doesn't automatically qualify you as boyfriend. Something else must be there too, obviously. She said I changed too much for her = This can really mean a lot of things and nothing... I guess it means your life doesn't have to revolve around her. The irony was being too much into her. It would have been fine with the right match. She was just not the right match for you. Said she wasn't physically attracted to me but that the new guy is smoking hot = Oh, is this girl Miss America, Miss India or something? What a cheap comment. It's OK to make clear that she was not attracted to you (anymore, hopefully), but the next statement was really uncalled for. She was pretty tactless. I loved this girl with all my heart and soul, together for 3 years and she is over me in less than a day = You might soon find out that this was your best luck! Can't stop crying, which is the worst part. I feel for you. Don't let this make you weaker. I know it's hard, but being self-confident and positive will open many new doors. And you'll smile again and life will be better soon.
Author Ani Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 I gave her everything I could have I was the one who was trying to get us closer. I was the one paying for every trip, every date, every present. I spent over 12,000 dollars on our relationship. Throughout those 3 years of dating we never had sex, she wanted to wait till marriage. Now she tells me how she can't wait to lose her virginity, I just can't stop but feel I was used in this relationship. Maybe I was to nice. According to her I'm obsessed with her 2'e that she hasn't missed me in a long time. She hasn't loved me in a few weeks. Yet the Sunday before the breakup she sent me nude pictures(something she's against doing). She was talking to me about having kids, raising them and then breaks up with me that same day. She took me back twice after the breakup just to dump me the following morning. Just sucks to know she's over me and already likes someone else. Like those three years of us being together meant nothing to her. Ugh. I hate myself for buying a ticket to see her the 28th of this month because she kept crying over me. Wtf am I going to do with the damn ticket now.
soccerrprp Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Ani, Sorry, man, but you made a mistake that so many do...you invested way too much when you weren't getting much in return. No sex in three years? Paying for everything? Yikes....I consider myself a romantic, but the hopeful, sensible type. I would have never tolerated an unilateral relationship. Normal relationships are tough enough, LDR are quite more difficult. Learning lesson and perhaps this will make you hesitant about LDRs and doing all the work w/o meaningful reciprocity... Sorry. Can you change the destination of the ticket w/ or w/o penalty to someplace you want to visit?
umirano Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I gave her everything I could have I was the one who was trying to get us closer. I was the one paying for every trip, every date, every present. Wrong. Very wrong. Though I admit, up until now it was the same in my RS. Now, I'm on hold. I started to feel she's taking me for granted now I wait till she makes a move. If it means I won't see her anymore... well then that's what it is. I spent over 12,000 dollars on our relationship.Ouch. I'm not far from that though myself. Money can be earned again. And some things must have been good too. So it's not just wasted. At least you know who you don't want. Also, you'd have spent some money on another girl as well. Throughout those 3 years of dating we never had sex Bummer. Not sure I'd have settled for that. Maybe a year ago, when I was still pretty dumb. I've learned a lot about (young) girls thinking this past year. Thanks LS. , she wanted to wait till marriage. Haha... That's so sweet. I'm not laughing at you, Ani. But I hope I'm laughing with you. Now she tells me how she can't wait to lose her virginity, I just can't stop but feel I was used in this relationship. definitely! Maybe I was to nice. That too. But it's very complex. How much "nice" is too much? When are you being an ass and driving her away? I know man... According to her I'm obsessed with her 2'e that she hasn't missed me in a long time. She hasn't loved me in a few weeks. Yet the Sunday before the breakup she sent me nude pictures(something she's against doing). She was talking to me about having kids, raising them Mine does that too. and then breaks up with me that same day. So I gotta look out, huh? She took me back twice after the breakup just to dump me the following morning. Didn't happen yet with us, but I certainly am prepared. Maybe you shouldn't have come back? A friend recently said, she doesn't believe in mending what proved to not work already... Just sucks to know she's over me and already likes someone else. Like those three years of us being together meant nothing to her.They don't... Ugh. I hate myself for buying a ticket to see her the 28th of this month because she kept crying over me. Wtf am I going to do with the damn ticket now. Sell it to someone traveling to the same destination. I see ads like this every week in my local newspaper.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 Hey guys, I decided to tell you guys that the breakup became mutually agreed. I found out she was a lesbian, it's something she found out a few months ago, and would really explain many things. I don't hate her. I'm happy. She deserves to be happy.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Sorry things ended You only found out yesterday she was lesbian? Otherwise your other posts in this thread don't make sense Hey guys, I decided to tell you guys that the breakup became mutually agreed. I found out she was a lesbian, it's something she found out a few months ago, and would really explain many things. I don't hate her. I'm happy. She deserves to be happy.
justwhoiam Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Hey guys, I decided to tell you guys that the breakup became mutually agreed. I found out she was a lesbian, it's something she found out a few months ago, and would really explain many things. I don't hate her. I'm happy. She deserves to be happy. I don't know... are you sure she's not bipolar or something? She said anything and the opposite of anything... I'd find it hard to believe anything she said, at this point. But anyway, it seems you're better without her (though now the break-up is fresh and you must feel down).
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 Sorry things ended You only found out yesterday she was lesbian? Otherwise your other posts in this thread don't make sense Yes, I'm the only person to know. I had seen a sign of it all these years just didn't want to put my finger on it. Her obsession with her best friend, who is the person she's into except she's straight. Her constant checking out girls, her disgust of giving oral and many others. I just had noticed it for so long. When I was there her obsession with her best friend would piss me off, how she always wanted to be around her. I just can't stop to feel like I was just an experiment. My self worth, and pride is gone. I still love her ugh.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 I don't know... are you sure she's not bipolar or something? She said anything and the opposite of anything... I'd find it hard to believe anything she said, at this point. But anyway, it seems you're better without her (though now the break-up is fresh and you must feel down). She is bipolar. It's confusing when she was all into us until last week. She felt relieved when she told me but then I started asking. I feel bad for telling her, you hated me for a simple lie, while you had the biggest lie of our relationship. She just lost it. I hate myself for telling her that its not her fault. She was sexually molested as a girl by a female friend. Maybe that could be it. Idk.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 I've been busy trying to comfort her while forgetting how I feel. I just don't want her to do something stupid after coming out. I still love her, 3 years into our relationship, 12k gone, and still a virgin. I just feel stupid, used as if I was just an experiment. Ugh.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 The code of guy was a girl. The guy was her best friend. She just wanted me to hate her so I could get over her. She wanted to keep it a secret. I guess I'm just a stupid nice guy.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 To her I'm just a creep now for asking her why she didn't tell me all this. Why hide it when I was so fully invested in our relationship. Now she hates me. I still love her with all my heart but know I should give up. Any hints on how to get over someone?
justwhoiam Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Any hints on how to get over someone? This is going to be tough. But you need to think of yourself first now, and that will be your biggest challenge. Tell her that this was a big blow to you and now you need time to heal and you need to focus on yourself... Then slowly start taking part in different activities. This is a good time of the year for a breakup, if you want to find a positive side to it. You can enjoy outdoor activities, have picnics, bike, run, anything... you can join some local group, then go out with some colleague... Try to meet as many people as possible. You'll start having a life back. Very soon. And you'll welcome this positive change. When you'll be fine again, you'll be ready to date other women.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 This is going to be tough. But you need to think of yourself first now, and that will be your biggest challenge. Tell her that this was a big blow to you and now you need time to heal and you need to focus on yourself... Then slowly start taking part in different activities. This is a good time of the year for a breakup, if you want to find a positive side to it. You can enjoy outdoor activities, have picnics, bike, run, anything... you can join some local group, then go out with some colleague... Try to meet as many people as possible. You'll start having a life back. Very soon. And you'll welcome this positive change. When you'll be fine again, you'll be ready to date other women. I just feel so ****ing used. I'm scared taking out this anger, this experience on the next person.
Author Ani Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 She's in love with her best friend. Something I always noticed just didn't imagine it. Love sucks.
HeavenOrHell Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I'm sorry, this sucks You sound like a loving, kind and generous person, you've nothing to feel stupid about, you're not at fault here. It will take time to move forward out of this, can't hurry it unfortunately. At least you know the situation now and you are free to meet someone else in time, when you are ready, who will love you back in the way you need and deserve. Try and keep busy and also see your friends/family for support. *hugs* I've been busy trying to comfort her while forgetting how I feel. I just don't want her to do something stupid after coming out. I still love her, 3 years into our relationship, 12k gone, and still a virgin. I just feel stupid, used as if I was just an experiment. Ugh.
justwhoiam Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I just feel so ****ing used. I'm scared taking out this anger, this experience on the next person. Ani, you yourself said you had so many signs, and just decided to ignore all of them. Also, having a LDR with someone with a mental illness or disorder is something that's bound to fail. It's already so difficult to be near people with mental problems, and if they are so far away, it becomes a huge problem, that can jeopardize your own health. It was a giant NO. Now move on. You need to be strong. Think of the man you want to be. And be that.
Author Ani Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Well she's a lying bitch. She isn't gay. She just didn't have the balls to tell me she had found another guy. She didn't have the balls to tell me she had moved on while we were dating. She's already went on dates with him. Today she blocked me and unfriended me from Facebook. She found out the guy she left me for, was only trying to get into her pants. He doesn't like her. He just is a typical guy trying to get his dick wet. I'm an idiot to have ever been with this girl. She deserves my hate but I can't seem to hate her no matter what. What makes things worse is im going through my dad having cancer, and my mom passed away from it. I really needed her in this moment. I'm alone for a few months, while my dad is in Cali getting treatment and my sisters went with him. I stayed back in order to make sure the bills are paid. I'm ****ing miserable right now.
umirano Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Ugh that's really bad. But it can only get better from here. Hang in there. And vent as much as you need to here. Focus on rebuilding. It's water under the bridge. You can't change what happened or her. I'm sorry about your parents. I'm in a similar situation in that regard.
Author Ani Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Ugh that's really bad. But it can only get better from here. Hang in there. And vent as much as you need to here. Focus on rebuilding. It's water under the bridge. You can't change what happened or her. I'm sorry about your parents. I'm in a similar situation in that regard. I know I deserve better. She left me because she wants to fool around, you know lose her virginity. She never wanted to lose it to me since she knew I was willing to wait but now she just tells me how she can't wait to go have sex, now that she is free. Our relationship was an unrequited love. I loved her with all my heart, and she didn't love me. At first she did love me but then she changed after getting into college, and then she met this guy. Tells me how she can't wait to ride his brains out. I blocked her and everything. Unfriended each other. Now though, she gets on the chatroom were we met and starts talking about guys. There is no ignore button there sadly and I get on there daily since I've made friends. During the relationship she never got on but after the breakup she gets on there daily. I'm sure she does this on purpose.
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