drabelincoln Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Sorry this is so long but Here's the situation, I'm not used to casual dating, usually I've always been talking to someone exclusively and then in relationships, nothing really casual. I have been talking to a girl and we've hung out 3 times, but really have been on two "dates". 1st time we hung out it was just a spur of the moment thing, she didnt have her kids and called me, we went out for drinks and i spent the night at her house. Nothing happened at all but we slept in the same bad. Both of us were pretty drunk so we passed out. Prior to the spur of the moment hangout we had offical date plans for another day, that day came and she had to cancel, but asked for a rain check. I said ok and she stopped responding to my texts after that for the night. Later in the week I asked her again if she wanted to go out, she said possibly this friday, but def the next as she didnt have her kids. Well she was able to find a baby sitter for that Friday, so we went out and had a great time, until the end of the night, i wasn't drinking much that night but she was, everything was going great, we made plans to go out the next Friday, and then she started telling me really personal things about herself, things that I think embarrassed her. After that she said to me, I think its better if we're just friends. I said ok, im glad you're being honest. Later on we are still out on our date and she says to me, I dont really like you, we should just be friends. I was gracious about it again and said thank you for being honest. I took her home and she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. The next day she texts me and says she was sorry about the night before she told me really personal things and we should be getting to know each other and find out if we like one another and not talking about things like that. I told her it was ok, that I understood and I was glad she was honest with me about everything and left it at that. The next day she texts me and asks me if we are still on for next Friday. At this point I'm confused and tell her yeah if she still wants to. She said she thought she ruined everything with me by telling me those things about herself, I said no, but you told me you didnt like me, so I just assumed that was that. She didnt remember saying that, she said that it wasnt the case, she drank too much but she had to of been kidding with me. I didnt take it like that, but I took her at her word, i mean why would she want to go out again with me if she felt that way. She texted me a little more frequently after that date, but she always leaves me hanging with texts and RARELY initiates them. 2nd date comes around, we go out and again have a great time, we are at the bar, a private club and she gets me to sign up because she could only sign me in 3 times in a month and she says i better get one so I can keep going. We go back to her house, and still haven't kissed or messed around or anything. It was late, and I'm not one to stay up very late and I must have ended up passing out on the couch while watching a movie. I wake up, go upstairs and lay down in bed with her, a few hours later she wakes up and we are talking. Laughing at things making jokes, she starts to ask me about my ex, where I met her and wanting to see pictures of her which I find odd, but I show her. I told her I met my ex online and she says was it on 7 or better, I didnt even know what this site was, so I'm like WTF is that. She says its where the guy has to be 7 inches or better, do you make the cut.....I'm kind of like wow, shes asking this. So I tell her I dont know, I havent measured, she says well, you should this could be a deal breaker. She says to me go home, watch some porn and give me the measurements then. I'm like WTF..I think she has to be kidding. I go to leave and we hug good bye. She texts me an hour or so later about this crazy hot dog place by her house and what she's eating, we talk for a bit and she stops responding to my texts. Later on that night I text her and she asks me if I measured it...im like is she really serious? I said no, but she could measure it for me, she laughed and said ok, she has a heavy duty tape measure just in case. I ask her about doing something this weekend, she says maybe Saturday but she might have her daughter. I have a wedding saturday to go to but maybe later at night we can get together, my brother is getting married but everyoen is just meeting up at a brewery after the wedding and if she wants she can stop out there, its not a private thing, some of my family might be there but there will be a ton of people so it wouldnt be weird, she said that would be nice and if my family is anything like me they have to be cool. She stops texting me after that. Mothers day rolls around I text her happy mothers day, she says thanks. Nothing else, so later I text her again ask her how it was, she tells me and I comment on it and I don't get a response. Monday rolls around and I didnt text her at all, she didnt text me. Tuesday I text her and just make a joke about something that happened last week, we text back and forth a bit and she stops responding. I didnt text her again, i let it go. Yesterday she texts me and says, that she has her daughter Saturday and can't go out. I reply with thats ok, text or call me if you're bored at all, and let me know when you're free again and if you want to go out. She replies with "Ok Defintely" and leaves it at that. No I am free this day or anything like that. That was the last I heard from her and that was yesterday. I'm not sure what to do at this point, it seems like she is interested when we are together, but she is distant and disinterested when we aren't. Any advice or should I just let this one go. Should I give it more time?
Gottabestrong Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Wow, she sounds like a lot of drama. I am not sure if you are into that kind of thing, but my advice would be to let her go and find someone else.
Author drabelincoln Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 it didnt seem to be much like drama, but more an overall flakieness....I dont know...I'm not sure how to take it all
carhill Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 She didnt remember saying that <After that she said to me, I think its better if we're just friends.>, she said that it wasnt the case, she drank too much but she had to of been kidding with me. I didnt take it like that, but I took her at her word, i mean why would she want to go out again with me if she felt that way Canary. Move on. Supporting evidence: 1st time we hung out it was just a spur of the moment thing, she didnt have her kids and called me, we went out for drinks and i spent the night at her house. Nothing happened at all but we slept in the same bed.
Author drabelincoln Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 She didnt remember saying that <After that she said to me, I think its better if we're just friends.>, she said that it wasnt the case, she drank too much but she had to of been kidding with me. I didnt take it like that, but I took her at her word, i mean why would she want to go out again with me if she felt that way Canary. Move on. Supporting evidence: 1st time we hung out it was just a spur of the moment thing, she didnt have her kids and called me, we went out for drinks and i spent the night at her house. Nothing happened at all but we slept in the same bed. To be honest with you, the reason nothing happened was more me than her. I am one of those people that fall asleep as soon as they hit the bed, especially after I had a lot to drink. You could be right thought, but I really feel that if I tried something she wouldnt have objected. Its just that I passed out.
serial muse Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I don't know, that whole back-and-forth on the "I like you/don't like you", I'm revealing super-personal stuff/wait let's take it slower, "let me see your ex"/"measure your penis for me so I know if it's a dealbreaker" sounds a lot like drama to me. That's a lot to dump on a relative stranger you've gone out with two/three times. And she sounds flaky too, what with not offering up times to meet and not responding to texts. I'd let this one go, just sounds like a constant source of frustration.
Author drabelincoln Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 I don't know, that whole back-and-forth on the "I like you/don't like you", I'm revealing super-personal stuff/wait let's take it slower, "let me see your ex"/"measure your penis for me so I know if it's a dealbreaker" sounds a lot like drama to me. That's a lot to dump on a relative stranger you've gone out with two/three times. And she sounds flaky too, what with not offering up times to meet and not responding to texts. I'd let this one go, just sounds like a constant source of frustration. Yeah, its been a constant source of frustration. When she's on shes on, when she isnt, she really isnt.
Author drabelincoln Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Bottom line with this one is, she told me she is bi-polar, medicated and seeing a counselor. After that she was upset and told me she didnt like me. I don't want to quite give up so easily on this one, as she seems like a decent girl when we are together, I think some of things she did say were said in jest like penis length. I'm sure most of you will tell me to run and hide, I'm not really like that. I think I kind of want an absolute for things, like if she isnt intereted i'd just like her to tell me that ,or is that really asking for too much these days? When we first went out she mentioned to someone that she wanted to be courted, I just happen to over hear it. I do like her even with her problems. Am I going too far by trying to talk to her again? Should I give it a few days from when we last talked to see if she tries to talk to me? She seems like, from the begining she's wanted me to work at "courting" her....maybe I'm reading too much into it.
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