My girlfriend's new friend is hitting on her constantly (visits included)

[Josh_San]

Hi,

i live in southern Sweden, and have Swedish girlfriend, however i am non-Swede and as such have different views on relationships compared to them.

 

Here's the thing: my girl is a typical swede: friends are rare and those who are friends cant be trusted. Gaining new friends is nr. 1 problem here in general, i have no idea why, guess they're just anti-social . As such, girls and guys generally rarely have friends of other gender that are actually real friends (like "bros") , it all comes down to relationships and sex, cheating, divorces and what not. Its a soup as they say.

They just don't have that "just stay normal friends" mechanism built in (sadly) and whatever they might say , that's reality.

 

Now my problem:

My girl has summer job as personal care assistant for elderly (its like a home visiting nurse, except its not a medical nurse but just some lady that helps you with daily stuff) and she ended up visiting this guy in his '20s who has some psychological problems and needs weekly help.

 

Turns out , guy really liked her, as in , not liked her professionally but liked her as a proper guy hunter: He wants to get laid.

 

She's really attractive girl and its normal to get attention , but this guy kept inviting her to visit him "as friends" and have coffee with him. So she did. She went against company rules (which she didn't know at the time) and visited him and God knows what happened but she liked him ALOT.

And last time i saw that look in her eyes was when she met me and , well, we ended up in bed. When she found out its not allowed to visit patients on a personal level she was crushed and said she wont visit him anymore. But here everything comes out , so i figured she actually did do that even tho she said she didnt.

The guy keeps nagging her to visit him home "his fiance is out on dinner so he has time for friends", altho she never met his fiance, as far as i know , she doesn't exist. If they're friends , why dont they meet downtown, come here and visit her or anything else but insisting to come to him HOME.

 

She met him once , as a patient, and next time she went to his place it was as "friends".

Her excuse is she needs new friends, however from what i managed to see (accidentally i must say i saw her skype while fixing her laptop) he kept telling her to come to him home so they can have coffee and asked about me and how do i look like ,how is our relationship , do we have problems etc etc.

 

Now , i'm far from jealous guy, i just don't trust people that easy , especially swedes. I know where his behaviour leads because i was the same guy, i dated girls that had boyfriends and i know exactly how girls work when certain steps are taken.

If she was comfortable about him as a friend , she wouldn't hide him from me or secretly go visit him home. Thats what im concerned most about.

 

The downside is, if i break up , i gotta go back to my country since i cant stay here (God knows i hate this place) and that would really be a serious career and life setback for me (im 26 btw , she's 23).

 

What to do , any experienced guys/ladies that can give a word of advice ?

Edited May 16, 2013 by Josh_San

[tman666]

Why would you have to leave Sweden if you break up with this girl?

[Josh_San]

Why would you have to leave Sweden if you break up with this girl?

 

Because i moved here only to be with her, she's got a steady job and she would honestly have no chance with her education anywhere outside of Sweden, let alone my homeland.

If i was alone , i'd leave straight away. I don't like the people, the system and especially the weather. Of course that's just my opinion

[hppr]

So the guy called her up because he has mental issues and needs help now he's following her around and she's allowing it? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Explain to her why this is a bad thing, the guy is obviously off his nut and possibly obsessive or something, make her understand that having him over to her/your home is unhealthy and improper. Not good!