orchid232 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 So I've never done this before but with the amount of people on this site I figured someone is bound to be able to knock some sense into me My boyfriend and I of 3 years just ended it the other night. My decision to end this relationship was motivated by the fact that I was, you guessed it, unhappy. We had everything going for us as far as chemistry, and things in common, however, there were things I eventually could not get over. I can mention all of the negative things without the positives that, of course, would make anyone dislike him but to be honest it all comes down to one thing: I felt like I was being taken for granted. When you continuously put gas in an engine that won't run, after awhile you get tired of it. I was tired, I felt broken, and worst of all I felt unloved. Within these last few weeks of "pre-breakup", (you know what I mean, the pulling away and short conversations that hurt the other so much) he began to exhibit changes in his behavior. He came around more, tried being more supportive, and he even bought me flowers for the very first time. Of course, all of these things came way too late and I felt annoyed more than anything. Now, though, he is admitting to me that he had taken me for granted, that he was not doing the best he could, and wants to change. He has given me plans of his that he is hoping will help him with things. At this point I feel slightly sceptical but ... at the same time I am still in love with him. I am not, however, "in love" of the idea of committing myself to someone who doesn't know how to love me back. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Taking a break from a relationship and wondering if someone can really change?
aisuru Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Step back, take your time, take care of you. That's all you can do right now. It may never work out. Or, if it's meant to be, it may. Don't hold out hope. Live your life and take care of you. It's the best advice I can give you.
Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I am going through a break up with a guy I was almost with for 3 years too. All I can do is offer my support! No Contact seems like the only way that you can get some clarity, and that he can also think about what he wants. It is rare that it is meant to be, and two people just love each other so damn much that that want to re visit the relationship. The only advice I can give you is: take time. Do not mistake missing each other needing to be together again. You will miss each other. My ex and I miss each other. That does not mean the relationship is meant to be, though! My ex said he was in love with me, but he was not in love with the idea of putting up my cr@p for life. Sometimes it is funny; you love a person and can see yourself with them for life, yet if they do things that make you unhappy, your going to have to cut your losses. Love is not always enough, from what I have learnt! Good luck with this, I hope we both stay NC so we can think about things and get some more perspective.
siankat Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I second that. One of my exes from long ago had things i just could not deal with, i've never had such a great mental connection with another person etc but, he was lazy and selfish and this just left him static whereas i'm very motivated to make life good in small ways and bigger ways. His next girlfriend after me.,...of 5 years, told him the same things and had the same issues i did with him. I think it can come down to two things, either, someone can't do for themselves let alone you, or they just get slack and they can pick up their game. Time apart will give you clarity on that if you can't see clearly while still so close to him.
Author orchid232 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Thank you all very much, I appreciate the insight. Good luck to you all as well!
Recommended Posts