crimsoncurrent Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 My stats: 3 and a half year ended, nearly 5 months since BU, and like the title indicates, 4 months of complete NC. I decided a few months ago to write these monthly updates of my NC journey, hoping it could provide encouragement and insight to those who are enduring the painstaking, oddly liberating experience of NC. First off, after 4 months of NC, I think the function of no contact is this: with complete detachment from the person you were once in a relationship, NC will eventually break you down emotionally, forcing you to accept the relationship has ended for good and life my go on. It has become almost banal now to discuss the BU at this point because there's simply nothing left to talk about. My BU has become dated news to others and myself. I feel as if I'm becoming emotionally indifferent to the lost of my ex. I'm nearly certainly she's moved on into another relationship, in love with someone else, living her life just fine without me. It's time that I begin to do the same. I've accepted the prospect that I'd most likely never talk to her, much less see her again. I've discovered the process of NC is so analogous to that of the stages of grief. During the first stages of NC, I was in denial, thinking that her and I were connected to some degree, keeping the hope that my ex eventually would come back. After accepting the ex wasn't, I went through this stage of regretting there weren't enough playful moments between us an wishing I'd said I love you more. That sounds so stereotypical to those who've lost a significant person in their life, wishing they could've spent more time or showed them how much they loved that person before that passed. However, although the process of NC been extremely painful, my choice of my connecting with my ex in any form has also strengthened emotionally. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with being alone, just feeling comfortable in my own skin and not needing a relationship to validate me. Also, with some that's struggled with sexual addictions, I behavior has changed dramatically. I can be friends with other girls without objectifying or thinking about them in a sexual way. It's been very empowering. I feel NC as led to some of the biggest leaps in personal growth and insight in my entire life. 6
seahawker64 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 My stats: 3 and a half year ended, nearly 5 months since BU, and like the title indicates, 4 months of complete NC. I decided a few months ago to write these monthly updates of my NC journey, hoping it could provide encouragement and insight to those who are enduring the painstaking, oddly liberating experience of NC. First off, after 4 months of NC, I think the function of no contact is this: with complete detachment from the person you were once in a relationship, NC will eventually break you down emotionally, forcing you to accept the relationship has ended for good and life my go on. It has become almost banal now to discuss the BU at this point because there's simply nothing left to talk about. My BU has become dated news to others and myself. I feel as if I'm becoming emotionally indifferent to the lost of my ex. I'm nearly certainly she's moved on into another relationship, in love with someone else, living her life just fine without me. It's time that I begin to do the same. I've accepted the prospect that I'd most likely never talk to her, much less see her again. I've discovered the process of NC is so analogous to that of the stages of grief. During the first stages of NC, I was in denial, thinking that her and I were connected to some degree, keeping the hope that my ex eventually would come back. After accepting the ex wasn't, I went through this stage of regretting there weren't enough playful moments between us an wishing I'd said I love you more. That sounds so stereotypical to those who've lost a significant person in their life, wishing they could've spent more time or showed them how much they loved that person before that passed. However, although the process of NC been extremely painful, my choice of my connecting with my ex in any form has also strengthened emotionally. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with being alone, just feeling comfortable in my own skin and not needing a relationship to validate me. Also, with some that's struggled with sexual addictions, I behavior has changed dramatically. I can be friends with other girls without objectifying or thinking about them in a sexual way. It's been very empowering. I feel NC as led to some of the biggest leaps in personal growth and insight in my entire life. Fantastic posting! And that my friend is the true value of going NC. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Thanks a lot for sharing. It gives me hope and helps me on my path of NC, to hear other people that have been in love and broken that connection. If you can break contact with a girl you loved for years, I sure can use NC as a way to better myself, and move on too.... 1
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