love979 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 (edited) i've been in a long distance relationship. and he cheated on me, to another long distance relationship, a girl he never even met in person. we broke up, almost two months now. i still couldnt move on. i feel like i'm still waiting for him. i'm still holding on to his words that he'll come home to me. I feel so restless. All I did was wait for him, now he's back in the country...maybe even he's in the same mall now that I am in. He didn't bother to reach me or something. It hurts so much. Sometimes, I just wanna commit suicide. but, I still have hope. I feel like, there's still something that connects us. I asked him to have sex with me, at first he said yes, then the day after that he said no. and then i asked him again, and he said yes. but i know that I couldnt do that without hurting myself, thats a total torture. so i cancelled. then i asked him to meet me, it took me awhile before I was able to convinced him. I told him i needed closure, which is true. I have a lot of questions to ask him. I'm meeting him tomorrow and I hope hew wont change his mind. i miss him so bad. I love him so much. I know what he did was wrong, he cheated on me. but I love him. and I cant blame him. He told me before that if i force him to be with me, he'll suffer. and I dont want that. He said he broke up with me because of my friends. My friends are simple girls you know,its just that my ex boyfriend is so sensitive and he really doesnt wanna share me. I just never thought it would come this far, that he'll broke up with me BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS. please help me. I really need someone to talk to. the people i know were tired of listening to me. but i am hurting. I grew up with my boyfriend. we've been together since highschool and then college. he's my everything. and i love him so much every single day. they would never understand how i feel. :'( every day, every night I cry. he's the last thing i think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning, he's even in my dreams. :'( and for the record he's my very first boyfriend. and i thought he's the last one too. well, I think he will be. I've been longing to be with him again. :'( Edited May 16, 2013 by love979 i forgot to write something.
aisuru Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Oh sweetheart, first loves and first breakups are friggin' hard. It's going to hurt. For awhile. Now is the time for you to take care of yourself. Distract yourself. Surround yourself with friends. Write in a journal. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, but try really really hard not to dwell on 'what if.' We have all been there. Most of us multiple times. Write here, but do NOT contact him right now. This will help you maintain your dignity. He won't care if you're hurting and won't want to see it. Vent here as much as you need to. Google the term 'self care' and implement your own plan for self care. If you need to, consider finding a professional to speak with. Sometimes just talking about the pain and the feelings helps you to alleviate that pressure cooker of feelings within yourself. You won't feel like sleeping or eating right now, but do what you can. Get out and sit in the sun or walk. You will be okay. It will take time. Just know that you will be okay. I promise.
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