delayedreaction Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Bf and I broke up on Saturday and have be NC ever since today. I had him blocked on fb, don't have a cell and he's not one to show up at my door as if he even would. Unfortunately my sister reminded me today about a pair of uggs that I borrowed from her and I had totally forgot that I left them at his house. So I had to unblock him and send him a message. I kept it short and didn't mention us at all. He hasn't responded. Other than that been really good with the NC and while things have been up and down, I was managing it. My problem that I'm having is today is the first time I saw him. He didn't see me, thank god but it started a train of thoughts that I haven't been able to turn off and it's literally driving me crazy. When I saw him, he was driving and pulling into a parking lot. I just HAD to know if he was alone or with someone else. I don't know why I couldn't just keep walking. I went into a building and waited for him to leave to see if he was by himself and he was but instead of that making me feel better it just made me feel crazy. Ever since I've been imagining him dating this girl that he used to talk to but said he wasn't interested in. I've imagined him getting back together with his ex who he said he wouldn't date again. Of course I know what he said wasn't necessarily true because he kept in contact with them while we were dating. Even though his ex was the biggest problem in our relationship and would lie to me about talking to her all the time. I have no idea to this day if he ever hung out with her while we were dating but doesn't really matter know anyways. How do I pull myself out of this? I've tried to refocus on something else but it just isn't working this time. I've become obsessive and I'm hurting myself. I know that neither of the things I'm thinking may be actually happening and I know that if they were it shouldn't matter but I can't stop running in circles. Any advice before I start messaging him and coming across as the person I don't want to be?
aisuru Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Write out your feelings to yourself instead of contacting him. You'll feel worse if you contact him. TRUST ME. Right now, you need to write a list of how you are going to take care of yourself and put yourself first right now. Whether it's just getting out of bed and taking a shower, to learning a new hobby. Time to jot down all the things you DID NOT like about him or the relationship. We all have them, no matter how good the relationship was. This will help you from putting him or the relationship on the pedestal. Set milestones... one day no contact, one week no contact, one month no contact. Have a friend on standby for you to text, call, come over and listen to you cry, or drunk text instead of the ex. Get out of your house and move. Keep busy. Your thoughts will dwell for awhile, but eventually, you'll find yourself going minutes, hours or half a day without thinking of him. You'll be okay. Stay strong. Baby steps... 2
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