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If someone says to you, or a group of people, that they are kinkier than most...

FolderWife

By FolderWife
in General Relationship Discussion

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FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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You all know my situation with porn. I liked it, and I enjoyed it, but my husband got addicted to it, and it hurt our sex life, so now there is no porn in the house...not even for me.

 

Ok, a group of us were discussing porn, and whether or not we approve of it, and I said that I didn't. A girl said, "HEHE! I am kinkier than most here." I got offended, because I felt like she insinuated that I wasn't kinky, because I don't approve of my husband looking at porn. I feel like she insinuated that she was sexier or better because she was "kinkier". How does she know that she's "kinkier"?

 

Am I oversensitive, or do you read the same thing that I do.

Moose Established Member

Moose

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Really I don't think that being kinkier constitutes being better than someone else. What might be kinkie to some could be rather tame to others. What we do in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. I mean, I don't talk about sexual acts that my wife and I enjoy, and I hope she doesn't either.

 

But I wouldn't worry about it Monday......talk is talk.

EC Established Member

EC

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What might be kinkie to some could be rather tame to others

 

Exactly! You might do things that she would never do...She has no idea anyways about your past or what you went through...

She can't determine if she's kinkier than you or not?

 

My concern is why does it bug you soo much?

tiki Established Member

tiki

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I consider myself kinky - and so does my lover. We have never watched porn together, nor care to. We both consider it a no-no...we mutually agree, so there ya have it. The only porn we have in the house is the homemade stuff from the other night. :confused::D

 

You can be kinky without porn. Porn is the lazy way to kinky. Do it yourself instead of being a spectator.

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FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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My concern is why does it bug you soo much?

 

I'm concerned about this too. It shouldn't bother me, because she has no idea what she's talking about. I guess it bothers me, because she brags about her sexcapades all the time, and then the one time that I don't approve of one sexual thing, then suddenly she's kinkier than me. I keep taking it personally, when it wasn't even directed at me. I don't like people insinuating that they're better than me.

Moose Established Member

Moose

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Tiki, WHAT!!! Better hope Fred doesn't come in here!!! :laugh: How in the world do I convince my wife to make, "Homemade porn", with me????

 

Monday, Nobody likes it when someone else thinks they're better than them.....next time just imagine how kinky you are and turn your selective hearing down a bit......

EC Established Member

EC

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Yeah I understand but you can't let that get to you...Let her think in her own little mind that she's kinkier than you and then you go home and do your own thing....

 

I hate that feeling too but it happens what are you gonna do?

 

You can't tell people how to think as long as you know you kinky and your happy with yourself..then when she says dumb things like that just smile at her and laugh inside(bwuahahahaha) lol

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Out-kink her if it bothers you so bad. There will always be better though. Better looks, better bods, better personalities and better sex lives. Find your groove thing and stick with it. And just because she does something, doesn't necesarilly mean that it'll work for you and your hubster. Especially with his history.

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Originally posted by Moose

Tiki, WHAT!!! Better hope Fred doesn't come in here!!! :laugh: How in the world do I convince my wife to make, "Homemade porn", with me????

 

Who's Fred?! :confused:

 

I got drunk and made it myself. You lose so many inhibitions with a few drinks. :D

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FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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You all did a good job of making me feel better :D Now I'll go obsess over something else ;)

savethedrama4allama

savethedrama4allama

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Watching porn isn't kinky at all. You're being passive, watching others. Kinky is doing. My boyf and I are the same as Tikibrandy. No porn for either of us...its just not our thing. But that doesn't mean we aren't freaks. Don't worry about it Monday.

mike78207 Established Member

mike78207

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As for me anything goes as long as there is no pain or nevermind lol.

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Originally posted by tikibrandy

Who's Fred?! :confused:

 

n/m. I figured it out. :laugh:

faux Established Member

faux

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Being kinky does not necessarily have to be related to watching porn. I would not worry over whether this woman, or women in pornographic movies, are better than you. You are still with your husband, so I would not think things are all so bad.

 

I begin to draw a conclusion that there are self-image and self-esteem things going on here, based on this post and on previous posts by you. I do not believe that pornography was actually the source of any of your problems. I cannot understand how you would allow this woman's comments to affect you, or even how you could take them personally.

mike78207 Established Member

mike78207

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I think kinky is when a person does something that is not normal. Such as spank each other butts or put whoop cream down and and licking off..right??

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FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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faux, I can't explain myself. She said, "I like porn! I like it more than my boyfriend! I am kinkier than most here, I guess." I'm thinking ~uh, excuse me??? you think you are kinkier than "most here" because you watch porn??? I don't think so~

 

I mean...I don't know. I wanted to one up her, for saying something like that, but I didn't want to share my sex life with the likes of her.

 

I guess her insinuation that she's better than the people that she's talking to, because she's kinkier than us just struck a nerve.

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by mike78207

I think kinky is when a person does something that is not normal. Such as spank each other butts or put WHOOP cream down and and licking off..right??

 

Whoo hoo give it up for the WHOOP ya a** cream!:lmao:

 

JK Mike :bunny:

tiki Established Member

tiki

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--Just tell her porn is a spectator sport.

EC Established Member

EC

Posted
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Originally posted by mike78207

I think kinky is when a person does something that is not normal. Such as spank each other butts or put WHOOP cream down and and licking off..right??

 

 

 

Whoo hoo give it up for the WHOOP ya a** cream!

 

JK Mike

 

 

OMG LMAO Whoop Whoop!

savethedrama4allama

savethedrama4allama

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Faux,

I believe that Monday's husband was addicted to porn to the point that their sex life suffered (correct me if I'm wrong, Monday?) so I can understand why porn would be off-limits at least for the time being.

 

An alcoholic can't drink just a little. A person addicted to porn can't watch a little.

 

I think that this girl who claims to be kinky had to slip in a snide remark in an effort to make herself feel good. Just because she claims to be kinky, doesn't mean she is kinky. And some kinkyness is just plain weird, not even good. Maybe she knew about your problems concerning porn and used it to make a stab? Don't let it get to ya.

 

Porn. America's favorite spectator sport. LOL Tikibrandy.

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FolderWife Established Member

FolderWife

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I almost told her a kinky story, but then I said, "never mind, my private life is private, and I don't have to brag about it." :cool::lmao:

Karlise13 Established Member

Karlise13

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people who constantly need to talk about how graaaayyyuttt their sex lives are

 

aren't really getting much IRL

moimeme Established Member

moimeme

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So what if she is kinkier? Was there a contest for Queen of Kink that you wanted to win? IMHO, you don't even get close to 'kinky' until you're drawing blood and enjoying having it drawn or doing electric shocks. Is that the sort of rep you're looking for?

 

I'm with faux about the self-esteem stuff. Be who you are and don't let the comments of others get to you.

CurlyIam Established Member

CurlyIam

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It's all about an image she wants to make up. I know it can drive one out of their minds, but the guys on LS are right.

 

A LOOOOOT of insecurities going on if she brags about her sex life. I mean you are supposed to be fer friends, not her fanclub.

 

Plus, I always thought that still waters run deep. You just know when a peson in hot inbed. No need to pose as a cat in the rut to have maintain that idea. I mean the easiest way to prove how crazy her man is about her is to watch them together. She does imply she's the queen of sex, doesn't she? Tell her it's usually the other person in bed making this assumption. And notice how her bf behaves around her. You cannot make up a man that cannot keep his hands off you !!!

 

It would be interesting to know why she chooses to act this way. Did she get recently dumped for someone else, or WTF?

Papillon Established Member

Papillon

Posted
Posted

Really, who cares? It's not like you're comparing penis size or something.

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