jasn88cubs Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 (edited) we have been dating 3 weeks..she says she really likes me and is happy becuase all of her ex's have been jerks she said to me the other night "I'm just afraid of me getting hurt or you getting hurt. thats why i wanna take it slow, i just don't wanna get scared and hurt u" i told her "i would never try to hurt her and if a problem arose i would try to talk it out. i told her i really care about her" she said "you'll have to bare with me" what does she mean? she has bad experiences with relationships and her last ex just got up and wake doubt on her Edited May 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator spelling
todreaminblue Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 we have been dtaing 3 weeks..she says she really likes me and is happy becuase all of her ex's have been jerks she said to me th eother night "im just afraid of me getting hurt or you getting hurt. thats why i wanna take it slow, i just dont wanna get scared and hurt u" i told her "i would never try to hurt her and if a problem arised i would try to talk it out. i told her i really care about her" she sai d"youll have to bare with me" what does she mean? she has bad experiences with relationships and her last ex just got up and wake dout on her when you really know what it is like to get hurt, the last thing you want to do is hurt another.......or hurt like that again yourself so you become cautious...its a psychological defense mechanism, some people get their rocks off hurting others as they have been hurt,most sensitive people though dont enjoy it or even the thought of hurting another......she is asking you to take it slow and you sound like you are perfectly equipped to deal with it by being open and honest and talking things out...yes she has been hurt by an ex walking away......doesnt mean it wont work out for her and you...i wish you much happiness and i am sure with your attitude , any hurdle is going to be a cinch for you......deb
Roadkill007 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 first of all, I know sometimes people tend to be lazy while typing, but this is seriously painful to read. A bit more effort, please. It means she's scared and has trust issues, so bear with her if it takes time for her to let you into her heart. Also meaning that in face of misunderstandings that result in emotional pain, she may lash out, and that she hopes that you'll understand and be patient with her.
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Okay, first things first: Type properly. We don't need posts in text-speak. There's no charge, no space-limit and you have a fully working keyboard at your disposal. Secondly - Jeesh! You've only known each other a few days! Take it easy, don't rush, don't pressure. It sounds one of two things: One, she's already been badly hurt by some jerk she regrets knowing, and doesn't want a repeat performance, or Two: she's deliberately putting up barriers to encourage you to go slow, take it easy, and not expect to jump into bed by week 4. Either way, respect her request.
Author jasn88cubs Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 How old are you both? i'm 24 and she's 19 i know i'm 5 year solder but she is very mature. her father died when she was 14 and she has practically raised her younger sister
Author jasn88cubs Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 sorry for the typing i told her i understand she wants to take it slow. i'm trying to show her she can trust me and i'm not like the other jerks. she said she really needs a guy like me in her life and to bear with her. its just a bit frustrating but i also understand
TaraMaiden Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Thank you for amending your typing. That's so much better You are a little older than she, but the age difference is negligible. However, what makes her strong, also adds, paradoxically, to her vulnerability. She had to 'grow up fast' in raising her younger sister, so it means that she always had to consider her first, and protect her, possibly to the sacrifice of her own happiness and serenity. So the fact that she may have been schat on by others is naturally going to make her more cautious. Be good to her. Be supportive, and understand that at times, 'the little girl' needs to express herself. let her lead things until she has managed to come to trust you completely. Never give her cause to doubt you, don't mess with her mind, or paly emotional games. Rise above petty arguments, and ride things calmly.....
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