dg120885 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 This is the first post I've done and I really need to vent. My girlfriend of three and a half years left me last week and the pain has been unbearable. I've had long term relationships in the past, but this one was different. This is the first girl I thought I was truly going to marry. Yada, yada, yada..I'll get to the point. We met on a dating website and hit things off immediately. I knew she was different the night I met her. We just had this inseparable bond. She moved in with me after a few months and when my lease was up, we found our own apartment. Things were great for the next 2 - 2.5 years without any problems. Then the drinking began. After growing so accustomed to each other, we would just go to the local bar and have drinks after work. Well, this turned into drinking after work every night for the next year of my life. She would come with me even though she's not a big drinker. She never complained. I realize now that this caused a severe crack in our relationship. We stopped making love. All of sudden diner was a quick trip to a fast food joint, not the homemade dinners we fell in love making together. I was so comfortable with her and our situation I never thought once the relationship was in jeopardy. Hindsight 20/20, what a mistake. After months of restlessness in the relationship I began to wonder if she might be cheating on me. I checked her phone one night when she was asleep and found messages from a man she had been secretly having an affair with for 9 months. I confronted her about this and she packed all her things and left the apartment without telling me while I was at work. A week went by and I had not heard a thing from her. She had left some things here that still needed to be picked up so we arranged a time for us to meet. While here, I asked her who the man was and I why she cheated. She told me she was afraid to tell me how she really felt. She was tired of going to the same bar doing the same thing every night. She wished that instead of turning into an alcoholic, I would take her on dates, show her love and affection every once in while. She pledged that her love for me was real. I've never seen her look so hurt before as she spilled the truth. If this is true, I'm not sure why she didn't talk to me about any problems she had before. She said it's because she didn't want to hurt me. She was afraid I would leave here if she told me to change. I'm not giving her a pass on cheating on me by any means. I'm hurt, I've been manipulated and extremely angry. But if that's the real reason she says she cheated on me, she should have just told me. I'm a mixed bag of emotions at this point. I miss her extremely. I know we'll never get back together though. I miss our dog the most. I went to the shelter today to try and find a new dog only to realize I wasn't ready. I kept looking for dogs that looked or acted like our dog Polly. I almost cried at the shelter just thinking of the ass I was to try and replace polly with a new dog so suddenly. Losing the dog hurts just as bad!!! So to anyone who's read this. Please share your advise or tips to get over this failed long-term relationship. I could use some words of encouragement.
Gunny376 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 If my ask? I old are you? You list your geo location as North Texas ~ could you expound upon your cultural ~ sub-cultural orientation ~ i.e. yuppie, cowboy type, Millennium generation, etc. Sitting across this side of the screen, you sound ~ well ~ inexperienced with women and how women think, feel, want, and need?
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