littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 How long before people start dating again, after a long term relationship ( say of about 1year 6 months ) i have split up with my gf . Damn i just sat here for about 30 mins typing a post and it dissapered.So just a quick post for now.
K.J Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 How long ago did you break up with her? Do you hold any feelings for/about her? Love, anger? I think that there is no time line to when we are to date again however if you are still holding in any feeling for her let it be good or bad I would suggest that you get over them first. What happens often is we carry them into our next relationship and it ends up being the same relationship but with another person. God Luck
Scott S Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Sorry about that. Watch out for that delete key. Anyway, there is no hard & fast rule. It depends on the person, on the relationship, & other things. For a while (and again, the time varies), the person is trying to cope with a big change in his/her life, & may be attempting to fill a void. This is what a "rebound" is. I was married for not quite 6 years when my wife took up with her best friend's husband. It took over 2 years before I even felt comfortable speaking to a woman, much less asking one out on a date.
ltomlinson81 Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 You will know when you are ready. Don't put a time limit on it. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and was completely devastated. I thought I would never want to date again. But here I am, only 3 or 4 weeks later, and I am already dating someone new. When the time is right, you will know.
littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 The reason i ask is , i found out yesterday my ex already has a new partner its not even been 2 weeks since we have split up. but thanx for your replies.
seductress989 Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 I just got out of a relationship that lasted a year and a half. I decided to end it 4 months ago and I've just recently started dating not even seriously though. If I were you, I would take my time and have fun with it. Don't get too serious too fast! You don't want to get hurt again , do u? Just have fun and let things develop slowly with other people. I believe that you're not truly ready to get "serious" with someone until around 6 months. That's just my POV. Take it or Leave it.
littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 [color=darkblue][/color][font=courier new][/font] i think i typed another reply dont seam to be showing up yet , if it didnt work heres what i kind of said ....Im not interested in dating yet but i found out yesterday my ex has already met someone, we have not even been split up 2 weeks yet , i feel so hurt
amerikajin Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 It depends on what that person means to you and what the relationship was like. It depends on how intimate you were and where you two wanted to go with each other in the future. Usually, for one person, a breakup is a relief while for the other person it's the end of a dream. For the dumpee, it can take a lot longer to recover because that person may have had expectations that weren't met. It may even be a surprise to find himself/herself in that situation. You go through stages. You reflect on the past a lot, thinking about the good times. You think about what went right and what didn't go so right. You think about whether there's any chance this could be just some big mistake that can't be fixed (the denial stage). You often miss the closeness of that person and long for it. Eventually, though, you should adjust to life as an individual. You begin to get some clarity. It usually takes at least a few months, though it can take longer if the feelings are more intense. Deal with it in stages and process things over time. Don't force yourself back into the dating scene (big mistake). Do go out and start getting back into life and develop new bonds with new people, and eventually, you'll form a bond with a special person who will give you a new experience in your life.
littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 thanx 4 the words of advice amerikajin.I thought me an the ex would stay together for a very long time , i knew we was havin a bit of a bad time but never imagined she could treat me like this last week she was askin me what i want 4 xmas a month before she was saying she wants to get engaged to me ....now all this. After we split up we sent a few txt she showed no feelings or emotions about it she was sayin she wanted to stay friends ( dont that just hurt when people say that to you ) we even spoke on the phone twice i felt like we needed to talk the first time an i got a lot off my chest an had most my questions answered by her, i was really thinking maybe just maybe we could work it all out. Two days after we split up we had been txtin each other an i thought it wasnt that bad an that we could stay friends, untill i got a txt off her mate saying to me "stop txtin my mate you dickhead and leave my mate alone" My ex the next day told me she knew nothing about what her mate had txt me .... i guess ill never know if she was lying. As u might of read my ex already has a new partner she was either seeing him b4 we split up or really didnt take long in getting a new partner, its really hurt me how she can just go from one person to another ???? i had a txt off her today asking me why ive said im not txtin her no more , i think thats kinda obious its cus shes broken my heart
amerikajin Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 A person's true feelings lies in their actions, not their words. If she's out dating someone right after dumping you, then you obviously weren't high on her priority list. It's a blow to the ego, I know, but in the end, you have no choice but to accept reality. The good thing is that you are better off knowing this and writing her off for good. Like Lionel Richie says, "Sail on, sugar."
Scott S Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Originally posted by littleandy After we split up we sent a few txt she showed no feelings or emotions about it she was sayin she wanted to stay friends ( dont that just hurt when people say that to you ) we even spoke on the phone twice i felt like we needed to talk the first time an i got a lot off my chest an had most my questions answered by her, i was really thinking maybe just maybe we could work it all out. Two days after we split up we had been txtin each other an i thought it wasnt that bad an that we could stay friends, untill i got a txt off her mate saying to me "stop txtin my mate you dickhead and leave my mate alone" My ex the next day told me she knew nothing about what her mate had txt me .... i guess ill never know if she was lying. "I want to stay friends" is something that needs to be weighed on its own merits in each case. More often than not they are merely platitudes, attempting to soften the blow. It sounds nicer than "You d**khead! I wish upon you a transmission failure at 5 pm on the Kennedy Expressway." Originally posted by littleandy As u might of read my ex already has a new partner she was either seeing him b4 we split up or really didnt take long in getting a new partner, its really hurt me how she can just go from one person to another ???? i had a txt off her today asking me why ive said im not txtin her no more , i think thats kinda obious its cus shes broken my heart Whether you respond to her text is your choice. If you do, a short simple answer is best. That you have broken up, the new boyfriend has told you not to contact her anymore, etc. It appears she has moved on, likely having started before she broke up with you. It is unlikely that engaging in fisticuffs will impress her, & more likely to land you either in the emergency room or jail.
littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Staying friend with her has never really been possible , now i feel she has treated me like dirt itll never happen . Your prolly right she was just trying to soften the blow. Yes she has moved on. I havent txt her back after her last txt asking me whats up , i dont think i will bother i know im a decent guy an i deserve better, im just finding it hard at the moment everything has changed so fast. I only found out cus we was txtin each other about me collecting my fish tank ,i wont be able to go an get that now lol Thanx to everyone for your replies.
snilljente Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 "A person's true feelings lies in their actions, not their words. " Amerikajin...who wrote that quote you used...it's awesome.....printing a very LARGE copy to have in my office to remind me of not falling for the wrong guy because he SAYS all the right things....Thanks!
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