jussie Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 I dated a guy for 3 months (short, I know) and he dumped me almost 3 weeks ago. Since the break-up, I have been: 1. Sad and devastated that he gave up on us and felt like it was mostly my fault for driving him away. 2. Angry about the bad things he did in the relationship, like his poor communication skills and being pretty secretive. 3. Sad that I didn't appreciate all the good things he did in the relationship. Maybe if I focused on the good, I wouldn't have paid attention to the bad and nitpicked things in a way that drove him away. 4. Resigned, after realizing that I'll probably never get him back. I just feel all these different, often conflicting emotions and I don't know what to do with them. On one hand, I feel like I learned a lot from the relationship, like not to put pressure on a guy and not to rush things, just take my time to get to know them, and maybe not invest too much into him in the beginning. On the other hand, I keep wondering, "How much of the break-up was my fault?" because if it wasn't really my fault (but rather his fault for being emotionally unavailable and horrible at communication), then maybe I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship, and I don't need to do anything different in my next relationship. I know it takes two to make a relationship work, but does it also take two to break-up? I'm trying so hard to make sense of this break-up - everything from "Why did God want me to meet this guy in the first place?" to "How much of the break-up was my fault?" - because I want to believe it wasn't a total waste of my emotions. But it's been very difficult to figure out which way is up. HELP!
Ale khun Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 (edited) Your story sounds familiar , I had a quick relationship (3 months) but I really loved this guy , well the thing is that he dumped me because he wasn't ready for a real RL that hurt like hell . At the beginning of the break up I had a lot of questions like , why he did this to me , why me? Was it my fault ?bla bla bla And I was blaming me for that , but I've learned that some questions are better left unanswered , why ? Because in the process seeking the truth we only hurt ourselves , time will bring the real answers , it's hard to think that we've wasted time and emotions with the wrong person a break up involves two persons so he is responsable for that too , not only you . Now a break up shows us what we don't want in a relationship some relationships teaches us how to behave in the future because we have to learn from our experiences , don't feel bad just be happy that u r not longer with a guy emotionally unavailable investing time and energy it's easier to let go a 3 month relationship than a 3 years , I'm sure that next time u are with someone you are not going to do the same mistakes you did with this guy (Pressure ,rush things ) and soon this just will be another experience Edited May 15, 2013 by Ale khun 1
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