Do men not understand that women are very emotional?

[jcrew11]

I was wondering if any men or women have had to deal with any relationships where the guy doesn't understand the "Emotional Needs" of the woman?

 

I just feel that a lot of times the guy has to act as a mental health therapist to handle the Emotional Well-being of his girlfriend or any woman he's interested in.

 

I think that single men really don't understand how emotionally vulnerable most women can be. It takes a very delicate touch to treat a woman the right way without upsetting her or creating problems. Many guys learn this emotional intelligence through experience, but it also takes a lot of patience, self-assurance, and strength from the guy.

 

Guys - how do you handle emotional women?

Ladies - how do you want a guy to handle your emotions and treat you the way you want?

[ThaWholigan]

My own personal opinion: I think the most important thing a man can be to a woman is emotionally consistent. That requires a good deal of emotional intelligence but overall, you can't always react to a woman's emotional mood. And it does take patience, self-assurance and strength.

 

Saying that, not all women have the same emotional patterns and the more you think you have it down, the more you realize that you don't. Sometimes though, the person you are, you can attract the same kind of woman over and over again and assume that all women are like that . My dad famously said to me that I will never understand a woman because they will never be understood.

 

I do think that some guys have an air of "why should I have to understand her emotional needs", but consequently there are those who try so hard to pander to her emotional needs that they end up displaying the stability of a falling block of Jenga. It's important to be objective, and take stock of both your emotions and hers - retain your own emotional wavelength and likely the woman - while she may still be emotional at times - will appreciate that more than a man who is either ignorant of her emotions, or frightened of them.

[HuffmanMontana]

Seems unfair that guys are expected to meet the emotional needs of a woman but woman aren't expected to conform to a mans needs.

 

This is 2013 right?

[carhill]

TBH, I've transitioned from being overtly and sincerely interested in an empathetic way with any particular woman's emotional health/struggles/complaints to mainly making sympathetic noises while my mind is occupied with other things. I think part of it is a general response to life experience and part of it was learned while caring for a crazy person. I can sense a palpable detachment. In reality, that detachment better aligns with what I've felt from others for most of my life. They all can't be wrong.

 

With regard to what 'some men' do or don't do, indeed I'm confident some men don't understand female emotions, some do understand, some don't care and some, like myself, do understand and choose a different path than universally expressing that understanding.

[ThaWholigan]

Seems unfair that guys are expected to meet the emotional needs of a woman but woman aren't expected to conform to a mans needs.

 

This is 2013 right?

An important point.

 

The question really is how many men are actually aware of their emotional needs and how to communicate that to the women in their lives?

 

I think it's a two-way street and a woman should certainly seek to understand a man who is trying to understand her.

[hppr]

Not a relationship or psych guru but here is what I have done:

 

I have found that if they are angry it's because:

 

1) you aren't doing something you said you were going to do, relationship isn't where it is supposed to be

 

2) she's horny/time of the month sort of thing

 

3) she's a bitch

 

If she's sad then:

 

1) offer to spend a quiet night at home with her

 

2) take her someplace, make it a surprise

 

3) buy a gift

 

4) she's clinically depressed

 

I'm just being really really simple here but if you find that no matter what you always end up at the final option on either list then you need to as yourself why you are there in the first place and if it is worth it. And never, EVER think that to be in a relationship you have to be a psychiatrist or a punching bag.

[hppr]

TBH, I've transitioned from being overtly and sincerely interested in an empathetic way with any particular woman's emotional health/struggles/complaints to mainly making sympathetic noises while my mind is occupied with other things.

 

Pretty much. Oftentimes it's not what YOU do but how she deals with her own problems and how it affects you and your relationship with her.

 

Women by their nature are illogical and you can never really understand them, only like/dislike/put up with them.

[jcrew11]

TBH, I've transitioned from being overtly and sincerely interested in an empathetic way with any particular woman's emotional health/struggles/complaints to mainly making sympathetic noises while my mind is occupied with other things. I think part of it is a general response to life experience and part of it was learned while caring for a crazy person. I can sense a palpable detachment. In reality, that detachment better aligns with what I've felt from others for most of my life. They all can't be wrong.

 

With regard to what 'some men' do or don't do, indeed I'm confident some men don't understand female emotions, some do understand, some don't care and some, like myself, do understand and choose a different path than universally expressing that understanding.

 

The "smart players" understand a woman's emotional points enough to shag them, but then don't care or put in the time for a relationship.

 

The "forever alones" don't understand how to excite a woman's emotional desires or needs, and therefore can't find a woman to date.

 

The "nice guys" try to hard to please a woman, and end up looking like weak needy desperate losers. Those men are too emotionally helpful, when women just want a strong confident man.

 

But I think overall, men need to have a lot of PATIENCE with a woman. I had a co-worker/supervisor who had a bad breakup with her ex-fiance, and she was just an emotional needy basketcase, 11 out of 10 on the crazy scale. She was looking for a husband and I was too young and uninterested in becoming her therapist/boyfriend; and it made me miserable at work dealing with her anxiety issues.

 

But I think men also don't realize how "Emotionally Vulnerable" women are to every little thing you do right or wrong. The small gestures can go along way in her emotional attraction or the wrong things said or done can make her lose emotional attraction.

[MidwestUSA]

My man is at least as, if not more, emotional than me (without the cyclical swings). I've told him he's the best woman I've ever met! He has no problem understanding me. Sadly, his daughter is looking for someone like him, as that is how she was raised, and she's having a hell of a time.

[Treasa]

I'm not terribly emotional, except when it comes to happy emotions (I laugh A LOT), and I don't need a guy to be my emotional tampon.

 

But yes, I know, all women are the same, and of course I'm wrong for daring to voice a differing opinion.

 

How dare I express what it's like to be an actual woman!

[HuffmanMontana]

An important point.

 

The question really is how many men are actually aware of their emotional needs and how to communicate that to the women in their lives?

 

I think it's a two-way street and a woman should certainly seek to understand a man who is trying to understand her.

 

Some women don't make it known what their needs are. They expect a man to just "know".

[joystickd]

How you handle them is pump and dump. Well i cant honestly give a good answer. Im kind of upset.

[hppr]

My man is at least as, if not more, emotional than me (without the cyclical swings). I've told him he's the best woman I've ever met! He has no problem understanding me. Sadly, his daughter is looking for someone like him, as that is how she was raised, and she's having a hell of a time.

 

LOL right on. I'm sure your daughter will get things figured out btw.

[ThaWholigan]

Some women don't make it known what their needs are. They expect a man to just "know".

Sadly, this is true.

[jcrew11]

I'm not terribly emotional, except when it comes to happy emotions (I laugh A LOT), and I don't need a guy to be my emotional tampon.

 

But yes, I know, all women are the same, and of course I'm wrong for daring to voice a differing opinion.

 

How dare I express what it's like to be an actual woman!

 

That's good to hear, then there is no need for Men to worry about a Woman's emotional well-being!!!

[Treasa]

That's good to hear, then there is no need for Men to worry about a Woman's emotional well-being!!!

 

Absolutely right. Women - AND MEN - should be able to figure their own damn emotional ****.

 

You know what I need from a man? Him knowing to shut up when I'm watching wrestling, football, when I'm working out, or playing video games.

[fortyninethousand322]

If they are very emotional, they shouldn't be...

[Mrlonelyone]

Seriously, this OP hit on one of the main reasons that so many bisexual men just swear off women and live as if they were totally gay.

 

 

 

Most of the emotionality can be attributed to the fact that our culture allows/expects women to be so emotional.

 

 

 

 

Yes OP I have noticed that when I am relating to a woman one of my roles, and it's one I fill well, is to be the rock that the woman can anchor to. To be the touchstone that she can come back to and know who's who, and what's where and all that. The women I have grown to care about were also usually there for me when I needed them to be.

[todreaminblue]

I was wondering if any men or women have had to deal with any relationships where the guy doesn't understand the "Emotional Needs" of the woman?

 

I just feel that a lot of times the guy has to act as a mental health therapist to handle the Emotional Well-being of his girlfriend or any woman he's interested in.

 

I think that single men really don't understand how emotionally vulnerable most women can be. It takes a very delicate touch to treat a woman the right way without upsetting her or creating problems. Many guys learn this emotional intelligence through experience, but it also takes a lot of patience, self-assurance, and strength from the guy.

 

Guys - how do you handle emotional women?

Ladies - how do you want a guy to handle your emotions and treat you the way you want?

 

 

see how i figure it is we are hard wired differently for a reason....or....it would be quite easy if men dated men and women dated women....we are meant to be different...we are meant to be the more emotional, we are mean to be sensitive, loving, kind compassionate and we are meant to be with men who have that fortitude to weather the storms......a calm inner core and strength adn most importantly a sense of humor to get them through it.......

 

 

 

what can you do with creatures like us that bleed every month for most of our adult life and we dont die, i dont know...

 

 

maybe..respect us, fear us a little , love us, be there for us, and then the women should reciprocate.......women have strength , but i think when you try and change a woman telling her to buck up, be a man....been told that before.....didnt work i am still a woman.....emotional ...erratic once a month....all woman

 

 

 

when you try and change a woman into anything else but a woman....thats when problem starts...my dad wanted a boy i feel.....didnt happen.............all i want as a woman....is to be accepted for being a woman and treated as such, which is mostly respected and loved....not so hard to do....i give it back....i feel all women would want this....its so simplistic......deb

[KraftDinner]

I can't believe that in this day and age, people persist in the whole "women are emotional, men arent" mumbo jumbo.

 

Anger is an emotion, one that many people, probably more men, find difficult to control. Injured pride is an emotion. Men get sad, probably just as often as women do. But they're not emotional because they don't show it? Really?

 

Bitterness is the manifestation of emotion. But men never get bitter, do they?

 

Jealousy is an emotion. Guess I missed the part where men never get jealous.

 

Men don't care when they get dumped, right?

 

And anyone who doesnt think we have to take care of men's needs clearly has never dated a man.

 

We're all a lot more similar than many people here seem to think. I'm so glad a lot of the attitudes I see on the internet are simply not reflected in real life.

 

Men and women are not enemies. I love men! It takes a little work to understand the differences but it is so worth it.

[todreaminblue]

I can't believe that in this day and age, people persist in the whole "women are emotional, men arent" mumbo jumbo.

 

Anger is an emotion, one that many people, probably more men, find difficult to control. Injured pride is an emotion. Men get sad, probably just as often as women do. But they're not emotional because they don't show it? Really?

 

Bitterness is the manifestation of emotion. But men never get bitter, do they?

 

Jealousy is an emotion. Guess I missed the part where men never get jealous.

 

Men don't care when they get dumped, right?

 

And anyone who doesnt think we have to take care of men's needs clearly has never dated a man.

 

We're all a lot more similar than many people here seem to think. I'm so glad a lot of the attitudes I see on the internet are simply not reflected in real life.

 

Men and women are not enemies. I love men! It takes a little work to understand the differences but it is so worth it.

 

 

those differences are what makes it worth it....because differences complement each other...its contraast....each relationship between a man and a woman...if we were all the same it wouldnt work in my opinion...i think its a balance.....that happens...when you accept each other for bringing different qualities to a union......makes it right and yes worth it.......deb

[Mrlonelyone]

men have sisters, moms, female cousins, aunts, one big happy family - so why do women become demonised when we date you?

 

Because when a woman senses that there are romantic overtones they change their whole tune.

 

 

Too many times they take advantage of the idea that they are "more emotional" to justify their behaving badly. Meanwhile the man is supposed to take it. It is a reversal of the horrible situation there was in the bad old days when husbands could beat wives.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Haha. No offense, but a woman or anybody else who seriously turned to YOU to act as a therapist and to be responsible for their emotional well-being would be in for some problems.

 

OP. How about working on yourself and any issues YOU may have, including tending to your own emotional development? A guy who thinks that women are some kind of clinging children really has some growing up to do.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Too many times they take advantage of the idea that they are "more emotional" to justify their behaving badly. Meanwhile the man is supposed to take it. It is a reversal of the horrible situation there was in the bad old days when husbands could beat wives.

 

Maybe sometimes "they" (i.e. "women") do that, but in fact, if a person is an emotional one, their SO has signed up to "take it."

 

My husband does not enjoy my tearful times or some other emotional storms that pass, but he accepts them as part of who I am and also part of what actually makes me good. I venture to say he even loves them for those reasons.

 

It's MY responsibility to not barf my crap all over him or make him suffer and pay for my moods. I never do. But when I was a young woman, I did throw a lot of emotional flotsam and jetsam at my poor boyfriends. That was wrong of me. Regardless, they still did not have responsibility for my "emotional well being." Ha! They were too busy avoiding flying objects!

[Mme. Chaucer]

being more emotional leads to what bad behaviour, give me stories of what "behaving badly" has gone on...

 

I think people are thinking of tantrums, whining, or manipulative outbursting, which are not really a sign of emotionalism or femininity, but rather of immaturity.