My husband has been accusing me of cheating w/guys @ work but come to find out he is

[hurtinheart]

I am new to this but don't know what else to do!!!! i have been married almost 13 yrs. Just found out 2 days ago husband cheating again!!! i am very hurt he was sorry for about 15 sec and now blames me cause i won't kiss his butt i would think it should be the other way around!!!! i feel like i am going crazy!!! treats me very bad rubs it in my face and says it will happen again!!!! i want out but it's hard i have 4 boys and i do love him but the hurt is too much i wanna give up on everything!!!! Plz help he is cheating with females u might get wrong idea by title

[Ladyjane14]

He doesn't sound like he's interested in repairing the relationship. Why do you want to save it? He cheats on you. He doesn't appear to care if you like it or not. As far as loving him is concerned, I just have to ask 'why'????

 

Do you not deserve better than that? And who's going to raise those boys when he brings you home a lethal social disease?

 

If I were you, I'd see a lawyer and find out what my options are.

[tiki]

Remind him of the amount of Child Support he will pay on 4 children. This may make him lose his libido fast. In my state, it's 46%. The prick deserves to pay every penny of it with the way he's acting. He's a loser and if he has to intent to make it work, leave while you can...before you have 5 or 6 kids in the picture. He's not a good father or husband by the sounds of what you've said.

[Yikes]

How is good will it ever be if he hangs around only to avoid paying child support? If he stays and you work at things, it has to be for the right reasons.

 

He sounds like a skunk... I'd suggest you move on. I'd rather be alone than stay with someone who treats me with such disrespect.

[supermom]

treats me very bad rubs it in my face and says it will happen again!!!!

 

With this attitude I'd be almost surprised he's even using protection! Get out now! He said it, it will happen again.

 

You have two options:

 

A. Stay and repeat history over and over, hopefully not contracting an std

B. Leave and begin a new and happier life.

 

Don't forget the child support.

 

He sounds like an a**h***.

 

you deserve so much better - go for it.

 

Good luck

[Cloudy]

I know that everyone is saying get out now and forget him...but we don't know how you really really feel about him. He does sound like an ass especially if he's done it before. And my husband tried turning things around on me too...he said I didn't appreciate him and took him for granted...I admit I did when we were younger but I guess he never saw haw much I had changed. No matter if you treated him like **** or were moody....I feel for you as a mother of 3 boys under age 5 of my own....it doesn't give him the right to justify his actions.

 

You really really really need to think about how much you love him and if you can ever ever ever get past him cheating on you again...and then keep in mind he's not afraid to do it again. If you know you won't be able to get past it....it will never work and you will never be truly happy with him...you'll learn to resent him and both of you will be miserable.

 

My guess is that he's threatening you because he does want to stay with you but he's being a spoiled selfish jerk who wants to be treated like a damn king. (I know the feeling) What may work is just put your foot down and say that HE'S been taking YOU for granted and you're not gonna kiss his ass anymore. Separate and give him a non-chalant attitude and more than likely you'll see a change in him. If he doesn't change...then it was best that you got out of the relationship because you would have been a miserable woman for the rest of your life. If he stays an ass.....take him for all he's got...it's not fair that you stay with the responsibility of the kids while he goes and lives it up as a bachelor. Hit him where it hurts...his wallet.

[hurtinheart]

thank you all for your reply!!!! i just have to get over the hurt and move on with my life!!!! If i felt he was sorry for what he has done then maybe but he treats me like hell!!!! I can't take it i truly feel as if i am loosing my mind!!! he treats me like a child takes the batteries to the phones takes plugs to the computer if he's not happy nobody is!!! i need to run and fast i see now that i have done all i can do!!!!i am not saying i am an angel we got married young we both made alot of mistake thought we were past that!!!! i know now that everything he accused me of doing he has been doing all along!!!! he would get up and say i had a bad dream again i'd say oh no not this i'm doing nothing but it was he's guilt he was worried i was doing the same!!!!I feel as long as I know I have been honest and truthfull thats all that matters!!!! I will start to get my life together and get rid of him a human can only take so much hurt and he is very cruel to me !!!! I wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way he treats me!!!!I am still young and got alot to live for and he will be the one lost when it's all said and done!!!!he's loss!!!!I am young pretty and someday i will find someone to love me!!!!! It will be awhile cause i'm not looking but all in time!!!!!! thank you alll

[Ladyjane14]

He sounds pretty controlling and angry. Are you safe from domestic violence?

[hurtinheart]

there is no hitting i swear to that!!!!it's all about controll! money,phones,friends family EVERYTHING!!!!

[Ladyjane14]

Glad to hear that you're in no danger, Hurtin'. Post again and let us know how you're doing.

[Janessa]

Originally posted by hurtinheart

I am new to this but don't know what else to do!!!! i have been married almost 13 yrs. Just found out 2 days ago husband cheating again!!! i am very hurt he was sorry for about 15 sec and now blames me cause i won't kiss his butt i would think it should be the other way around!!!! i feel like i am going crazy!!! treats me very bad rubs it in my face and says it will happen again!!!! i want out but it's hard i have 4 boys and i do love him but the hurt is too much i wanna give up on everything!!!! Plz help he is cheating with females u might get wrong idea by title

 

You know, when a man is acusing you of something he is guilty of, he is most likely guilty. You need to get out. He is cheating on you. He could get diseases and bring them home to you. Ify ou stay in a marriage like this, it's only gonna hurt your children more, and you don't want them to grown up with that nonsense. If you need him financially I would suggest getting financial aid before you file for divorce.....get consolidated housing, welfare, or whatever......and while your filing, you ned to be getting these things on order.........Alot of women stay with their husbands for the financial reasons...and that is not a valid reason. you are being hurt emothionally, and that is traumatic in the long-run.... and it can have the same effect ont he kids.