Thorny12 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 First off let me say first time poster, dunno if this is in the right spot. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years in April. Our relationship has be majority good. We fight but everyone does that. Anyway, obviously when it started out it was amazing. It took about 4 months for us to realize we were in love. I was the first to say it, she said it back. It was a happy happy time. Move ahead a bit I was in her brothers wedding last summer and in another and I just couldnt stop thinking about marrying her. Still can't. Anyway things got a little rocky late last month. She and I were going to move in together; she backed out after we had everything ready to go. Previously, we talked about career plans and hers was still up in the air, she was working a job she hated and she applied to a place closer to me, we live an hour apart by the way, and she was offered the job. She turned it down because her current employer started treating her better, because they obviously found out she was looking elsewhere. Anyway, before this she asked if I would move out of state and I said no, because my job is here and I'm doing exceptionally well. Anyway I also said I couldn't do a long distance relationship, but I would for her I tend to say dumb stuff in the heat of the moment. This will set up the next fight we had after she backed out of moving in with me, she said there's a potential she could move to be 3 hours away, and I didn't like that idea. And we both said it was because we were happy with our jobs she just wanted to be relocated and move up with her company. I want to do the same. So the fight got dumb, and we ended the conversation on a break. I couldn't do it. It was killing me that I would let something I care about so much get to this. So I waited a day and went to her place and brought her flowers, gifts, and wrote her a note inside of a card. She and I got off our break and we cuddled and made love the next day. It was great. However, she is still wanting to move. Which is fine I will support her and make it work. Anyway, it has felt like she is kind of different and unhappy. She says it is because she is stressed about work and such and I keep thinking she's losing interest in me although she says she's not and her friends have told me she is crazy about me. So she leaves town to do some work for her company and she is extremely busy and doesn't talk to anyone but her coworkers and I take it as her not wanting to talk to me. Anyway. She constantly tells me she loves me. She tells me she misses me. She told me she would never ever cheat on me, I have trust issues I'm working through for her. That even if she lives 2 hours away she will make it work. She also tells me that she wants us to get to the next level eventually but our relationship needs some work. I also plan on asking her to marry me in July. She has brought it up to her friends on when they think I'm goin to ask her. My problem is this: I feel like she is not herself. She usually talks cutesy, she doesn't do that as much. She constantly talks about her job and has her face in her phone, this had always been an issue, and the week of barely talking to me or makin time for me has kinda sucked. I don't think she's distant she just seems different. Right now she is staying with me because she doesn't have a lease signed and doesn't know where she will be come september. I told her last night I support her. Love her. Care about her. Etc. I really. Do. I just need to know if I am overtinking things and she really does care about me or if her slight change of tone and overall demeanor is something I should be worried about. I hope I didn't mess up and it's not repairable. I know before she mentioned seeing a counselor to fix things. Even though they really werent super bad I just had family problems that have caused me a lot of pain and I dont want to lose her too. I love her. A lot.
bob the brave Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 that is a very normal argument. It is sometimes hard to accomodate to ambitions into one. But counceling recommendations and being distant? Sounds like there is more to the story.
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