Separation Agreement

[mandy6979]

My 23 year marriage ended nearly 8 weeks ago after my "darling" hubby had his 2nd affair in the space of 18 months....both in foreign countries where he was working. They weren't just one night stands...they were both fully blown affairs and he's now still with the 2nd one. I went through all the usual emotions.....shock, anger and sadness, but have now accepted that my life will be a better place without him and all trust that I had in him is now gone and I'll never ever get that back. We had such a strong marriage, and along with our 21 year old daughter, we were a very close family. Everyone is completely shocked by what he's done as its so out of character and is something that I would never ever have thought he would do prior to the first one. It's definitely a mid life crisis on his part...too much freedom out abroad and way too much drink also contributed.

 

Considering how he's treated me, things are pretty amicable between us. I don't see him as he's now staying abroad permanently, and apart from the occasional email, I don't have much contact either. I think it helps when there's no contact, as out of sight...out of mind!!

 

I've been shocked at some of the stories on here of how some people are treated by their leaving partners with regards to separation agreements. I count myself very lucky in the respect that my Husband has a legal separation agreement in place and is paying the mortgage, ALL bills nd also giving me money to live on until I find myself a job and we've also split all savings 50/50. I appreciate that this in no way compensates for what he's done to myself and my daughter, but I'm just glad that I can carry on without him, and knowing that I'm not going to get myself into debt over his foolish act.

 

I've read stories on here and have also spoke to close friends who have separated from their partners and have been plunged into debt and despair. I'm interested to hear other people's stories of post-separation.

 

Mandy X

Edited May 15, 2013 by mandy6979

[thomashome]

Mandy,

 

Is there any reason doing a legal separation rather than a divorce. I suggested a LS to my lawyer but she thought it is a good idea for my case.

[mandy6979]

I stay in Scotland, UK and we can do a DIY divorce after our 1 year separation which will be next March. I could have filed for a divorce through the court on the grounds of adultery, but it would be a messier, much longer process than what we're going to do. Because we've no children under the age of 16, and as long as we both agree, our divorce will be finalised a matter of weeks after the 1 year separation.

 

I won't be contesting anything, that's for sure, coz there's NO going back for us after what he's put me through.

 

Onwards and upwards for me!!!!!

[Jethro]

I've read stories on here and have also spoke to close friends who have separated from their partners and have been plunged into debt and despair.

 

Ha!! Well you aren't going to get that story with me! One I got away from that cheating, life and soul sucking bitch, it's all been uphill for me! I'm not going to tell you that I don't miss her, we certainly did have something at one point. But my career has improved, my quality of life has improved, my sex life hasn't exactly improved- but it will at some point! All good here!