lioness Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 I guess I'm not ready to let it go. It's been 2 months since my MM and I have been together intimately, but we see each other everyday. We are practically best friends. I haven't stopped wanting and missing him, and he hasn't stopped wanting and missing me. But that's not friendship, that's lusting. So - tomorrow - he's answering my booty call and coming over for a nooner. He called me tonight on his way home, and asked me if it was worth ruining our friendship over, and wondered if it would in fact ruin our friendship. Hmm. I told him that I honestly didn't think it would. So what's the problem with a nooner? He said ok, see you tomorrow. So now I'm wondering, do I go through with it? We remained friends after the last time (yes, there was an awkward phase of about 3 weeks) and can our friendship stand it again? Do I value his friendship enough? I've missed him so much. I want more than anything to go through with it. We WORK together, and see each other all the time. He's my go to guy for business advice, I'm his partner in finding solutions. We can practically read each other's minds. Sorry, this is kind of a wishy washy post. I know the answers that most of you are going to post: NO CONTACT! MM! RESPECT YOURSELF! Something different anyone? I know there are a lot of people here that have been through similar situations.
SoleMate Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Well, I was going to say "NC! Respect yourself!" but now, I am wondering what your parameters even are. What are you asking for advice on? Do you have any hesitancy about this meeting? I guess you do, otherwise you would not have posted. What is the nature of your reluctance to meet him?
Quilly Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 I don't believe NC is the answer to every relationship. I think it's up to the two people involved to determine what it is they can handle and deal with. I think it is possible for people to go back to being friends, especially if you value that friendship enough. I'm not so certain it's possible to have friends with "benefits" (e.g., nooners)... that's something the two of you have to figure out together. As long as you can accept that you're just friends, you're not in love with each other, and you be more miserable for being with him... then why not? Enjoy each other... but only if you're able to still look for Mr. Right in the meantime!
sinner Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 So - tomorrow - he's answering my booty call and coming over for a nooner. He called me tonight on his way home, and asked me if it was worth ruining our friendship over, and wondered if it would in fact ruin our friendship. So your MM is worried about hot affair sex ruining your friendship, not his marriage. I love Affair Narcissism --the world revolves around the Affair. Most likely, after all the hormonal dust clears--months or years later--it will ruin both. Meanwhile enjoy all the booty you can get in this golden hyper-sexual early phase of your affair. These sexual memories will help sustain you after this magical mystery trip ends and you're alone once again.
LittleMiss Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 So you really just want us to tell you that it's ok and to go through with it. You want us to tell you what you want to hear, and if we don't you will probably go through with it anyway. I've been in this type of situation, and honestly I think the friendship is already ruined because of the sex. I say just enjoy it while you can. Your freindship with him will never be the same so you might as well take advantage of your sexual relationship while he is still willing to go through with that.
Guisi Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Your friendship with him will never be the same so you might as well take advantage of your sexual relationship while he is still willing to go through with that. This is for Tabatha, why would you want a relationship with a married man because he is still willing to have sex with you. I'm not trying to be mean nor nasty, do you feel that you can not find someone else or this is the type of relationship you want?
LittleMiss Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Originally posted by Guisi Your friendship with him will never be the same so you might as well take advantage of your sexual relationship while he is still willing to go through with that. This is for Tabatha, why would you want a relationship with a married man because he is still willing to have sex with you. I'm not trying to be mean nor nasty, do you feel that you can not find someone else or this is the type of relationship you want? Ummm.....well did you even read the original post? She wants to go through with this. She called him for a booty call for sex. If she wants to be sexual with him with no strings then that's what she's going to do.
Fran_H Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 [so - tomorrow - he's answering my booty call and coming over for a nooner. Can someone tell me what a nooner is please!
LoneStar49 Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Originally posted by Fran_H Can someone tell me what a nooner is please! Basically just popping over during lunch hour for sex. I have to wonder - what type of satisfaction could be found in that scenario? Doesn't even sound to me like it would be sexually satisfying much less emotionally satisfying. But those are just my thoughts.
Fran_H Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Hey, don't knock it LoneStar! It sounds alot more exciting than the cheese sandwich I had during my lunch hour today.
LoneStar49 Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Right about now I'm wishing I had stuck to cheese sandwiches for the past few years! I think I would have been better off.
sinner Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Right about now I'm wishing I had stuck to cheese sandwiches for the past few years! I think I would have been better off. But LoneStar who remembers his or her best cheese sandwich?
LoneStar49 Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Originally posted by sinner But LoneStar who remembers his or her best cheese sandwich? Ahhh...but that's the point. With a cheese sandwich, there's nothing to remember. They're bland, rather tasteless, you don't run the risk of food poisoning, they fill you up and then - out of sight, out of mind.
sinner Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Ahhh...but that's the point. With a cheese sandwich, there's nothing to remember. They're bland, rather tasteless, you don't run the risk of food poisoning, they fill you up and then - out of sight, out of mind. Your fine point is well taken.
izzybelle Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 hmmm... but what if we went through life eating only cheese sandwiches? sometimes we need to try something new, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's great and sometimes it makes us want to hurl. i suppose the point is that if we try something and it makes us sick that we learn and don't try it again. ok, that from someone who insists on making the same mistake at least twice to make sure that the first mistake wasn't just a mistake!!! did anyone but me follow that logic? oh, and i love cheese sandwiches, nooners more but ...
sinner Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I know, izzybelle, neither man nor woman can live on cheese sandwiches alone. We need our nooners, too. But the heartbreak...
Nosmas Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Sorry, this is kind of a wishy washy post. No NO NO....well perhaps a tad more washy than wishy. But you're not the only one confused: Me. I'd coat myself in cheez wiz and meet you morninger, nooner OR Nighter for a sandwich.
sinner Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Nosmas, stop it! You're going to get us flamed by ms. personality.
izzybelle Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 sinner, yeah, the heartbreak really sucks. but after having seen my exMM last night and having to say goodbye to him and to what we had, surprisingly, i feel like the heartache was all worth it. maybe i'm a glutton for punishment, but even knowing what i know now, i'd still have wanted to be with him. would i have changed a few things that maybe would have lessoned the heartache..probably. but as stupid as this sounds, having had him in my life that intensely even for a brief period of time was worth all the pain. after the divorce i was afraid i'd never really be able to fall in love with anyone again. now i know. anything's possible, it's just a matter of time before i find someone available (hopefully) to be with. of course as i sit here alone in my hotel room in virginia eating key lime pie (no cheese sandwiches) , waiting for the weather to calm down i'd much rather be having a nooner (or all nighter)! but instead i settle for some comfort food and a stupid magazine! but hey, i now know all about britney spears wedding...isn't that special!
sinner Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Well, Izzybelle, you can look at your affair with MM as a dress rehearsal. More importantly, you now know that you are capable of loving someone well, and being loved well in return. That means something in this bad old world. Stay dry.
hurtinheart Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 why do you want to break up a marriage???? he needs to be a man and walk away from his wife leave her alone!!!! i bet you wouldn't want ur husband sneaking away for a nooner!!!!!if you can't respect yourself then respect women and a marriage!!!! your nooner can cause his wife a world of pain!!!!!
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