TaintedPixie Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 My partner and I have been together for 4 years. During which time, I have caught him having online affairs 4 times. Each time, he promises to stop, but he always seems to go back. A couple of months ago, I kicked him out after finding out about another flirtatious email between him and his ex lover. He left for about 2 weeks, and is now back, and seems to be behaving himself. The problem is, while he was away, I started chatting to a very nice man. We have never met, but strangely enough we have this connection like nothing ever before (it makes me understand my partners affliction to online flirting). The problem is the new man, does not know I am back with my partner. He wants to meet me. HE is really crazy about me. I am guilt ridden, firstly because I am having an affair (i believe it is), and because I am going to hurt someone who does not deserve to be hurt. I would really like some help as to how to tell the new man, what my situation is. In all reality, he does not deserve to be lied to.
Minnie09 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 The other man is not crazy about you.....he doesn't even know you and you guys have never met. He's playing a game and you fall for it, because you're naive and needy. After your disappointment with your R, no wonder, but someone you just met online is not "crazy" about you. He's bored and wants some distraction. If you meet and THEN MAYBE get along well, and he falls for you later irl, he might be crazy about you, but don't be so naive now to think and believe that. It's an escape for both of you that means nothing. Take care of your R and break up or reconcile. Forget the OM. He's not important and could be anyone / he's replaceable. 2
Author TaintedPixie Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 Thank you Minnie, you are right. I was looking for something to replace the hole that P left behind. I felt alive...... I will end it with the OM, Just don't know how
NotCamelot Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 The other man is not crazy about you.....he doesn't even know you and you guys have never met. Exactly! He is telling you what you want to hear so he can get what he wants. That is a fact. What can't you just simply tell the guy, "Look, I'm sorry, but I am married. Goodbye." ?
underwater2010 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Without knowing all the pieces....ie kids etc. I will give the following advice. How about you leave the man that cannot behave himself....after all he has proven it time and time again. And start a relationship with the new man.
BetrayedH Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 4 times? Time to dump your partner. And at minimum, be honest with the new guy, although I tend to agree with the others that he's fairly irrelevant as you've got plenty on your plate at the moment. Personally, I just think you dump the current partner since he's obviously not going to stay faithful to you and you come clean with the new guy about what's up with your life. If he has patience as you extricate yourself from the last guy, then so be it.
BeholdtheMan Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 My partner and I have been together for 4 years. During which time, I have caught him having online affairs 4 times. Each time, he promises to stop, but he always seems to go back. A couple of months ago, I kicked him out after finding out about another flirtatious email between him and his ex lover. He left for about 2 weeks, and is now back, and seems to be behaving himself. The problem is, while he was away, I started chatting to a very nice man. We have never met, but strangely enough we have this connection like nothing ever before (it makes me understand my partners affliction to online flirting). The problem is the new man, does not know I am back with my partner. He wants to meet me. HE is really crazy about me. I am guilt ridden, firstly because I am having an affair (i believe it is), and because I am going to hurt someone who does not deserve to be hurt. I would really like some help as to how to tell the new man, what my situation is. In all reality, he does not deserve to be lied to. This is not a pickle, this is a no-brainer... Pick one of them. Stick with your choice. Don't lie to either one. Don't cheat on your current boyfriend. If you wanna take a chance with your internet Romeo, man up (or I should say "woman up") and leave your current boyfriend. If you wanna stay with your current boyfriend, cease contact with your internet lover boy and work things out with your current bf. However I think four times cheating is four times too many...I'd move on if I were you I'm surprised you need someone to tell you this, but you may simply be young and inexperienced
jnel921 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 There is something missing when it comes to online affairs. You can't see the person, you don't know them and whatever they write will never be taken in the context in which it was written as you really don't know this person and the true intention. This is why so many people get catfished. It's attention. But it looks like you guys need to pay more attention to each other. Stop writing books to other people and come back to reality!!!! Hope you can work through this.
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