Guest Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Broke down today out of the blue and started sobbing thinking about her. I just miss her so much. And I can't believe she started seeing someone 2 months after a 3 year amazing and close relationship. I've been NC since March, although she did contact me end of April to check in on me. For the first time in a while I'm tempted to text her and tell her how much I miss her. I won't though. I can't help thinking about why things ended up the way they did. Just had to get my thoughts out.
OzHeartache Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Broke down today out of the blue and started sobbing thinking about . Happens to us all mate, I can feel fine and watch something sad on telly and it just flows, its not even a build up....just a instant flood of tears like a switch....strange Pretty sure its all part of the grieving process, a big build up of emotion releasing......well atleast I hope it is and I'm not turning into a big pussy ! lol 1
Els Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 On your other thread, both Cutie and I were of the opinion that your ex has been disengaging from your relationship for much longer than just the last 2 months, OP. I did not push my opinion, because I agreed with you that you needed to move forward and not dissect the past further. However, it seems it is worth pointing that out now. I think this R was dead for much longer than you believed it was, and it's good that she has finally cut the cord and you have the freedom to find someone else for yourself. 1
Guest Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I think this R was dead for much longer than you believed it was, and it's good that she has finally cut the cord and you have the freedom to find someone else for yourself. I really do want to believe this, but the other day I read an email she sent me last year telling me why she felt that way and why it was a momentary thing. There was no convincing or pressuring on my part. After reading the email I do not believe that the R was dead since last summer. It wasn't just an "i'm sorry i panicked email". she listed out a lot of good reasons about why she doesn't want to break up and why she feels right in this relationship. There are other reasons too, but I mean there is no point listing them out haha. It's over now and that's what matters. Just having a hard time moving on from something amazing. And I can't seem to shake the sense of false hope that she will come back - I think only time can fix that.
happydate Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Broke down today out of the blue and started sobbing thinking about her. I just miss her so much. And I can't believe she started seeing someone 2 months after a 3 year amazing and close relationship. I've been NC since March, although she did contact me end of April to check in on me. For the first time in a while I'm tempted to text her and tell her how much I miss her. I won't though. I can't help thinking about why things ended up the way they did. Just had to get my thoughts out. 2 months after a 3 yr stint is too soon for her to heal the heart. Wondering is he's her rebound guy. Dont text her and please forget about her. Your time with her is done. There are girls out there who have broken hearts that never got healed. So they date men to pass time and to look on you to heal them. But looking at external sources for love will never heal her heart. It just promotes an addiction. She is addicted to the man's attention, presence and the sex like a drug addict to drugs. There is no reason why she dumped you. Thankfully, you are not one of those men who got divorced by these women. Then they will take more from you, money, house, kids and then your heart. Consider any relationship you got as a gift from god. You learnt your lessons and you move on. There are other better girls to date or practise your approach to women. If you are relaxed, funny, relaxed and chilled out and have an open heart, women come to you. You dont have to chase them.
Guest Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 2 months after a 3 yr stint is too soon for her to heal the heart. Wondering is he's her rebound guy. If you are relaxed, funny, relaxed and chilled out and have an open heart, women come to you. You dont have to chase them. Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if he's a rebound, but it doesn't seem like it. She's not the type to date casually or for fun. She only dates guys if she see's a future. And her current guy is perfect for her on paper. He lives in the same city (we were LDR), and he has the same ethnic background. And I have all those things and more - except for an open heart. I hope that will change in time.
happydate Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I really do want to believe this, but the other day I read an email she sent me last year telling me why she felt that way and why it was a momentary thing. There was no convincing or pressuring on my part. After reading the email I do not believe that the R was dead since last summer. It wasn't just an "i'm sorry i panicked email". she listed out a lot of good reasons about why she doesn't want to break up and why she feels right in this relationship. There are other reasons too, but I mean there is no point listing them out haha. It's over now and that's what matters. Just having a hard time moving on from something amazing. And I can't seem to shake the sense of false hope that she will come back - I think only time can fix that. She knew from the get go you had a weak mind. Dealing with these kind of women is also known as GIGS mean you have to have mental state of steel. You dont. If she is going out with this other guy, she is using him as a pawn. Later on, it will escalate into her reporting to you what such a great time she is having with this guy which is more than likely is using him to stroke her eqo and pride. Then when she starts having sex with him, she will say how such a great time she is having with him. And if this does not get your attention and she is brave, she may decide to have unprotected sex with him or the guy managed to convince her to do it. When women are in this stage, her moral system is compromised. Do yourself and this rebound guy a favor. NC her forever. Dont play games where this other guy may get hurt just because the two of you are acting like immature adults!
happydate Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 (edited) Thank you for your kind words. I don't know if he's a rebound, but it doesn't seem like it. She's not the type to date casually or for fun. She only dates guys if she see's a future. And her current guy is perfect for her on paper. He lives in the same city (we were LDR), and he has the same ethnic background. And I have all those things and more - except for an open heart. I hope that will change in time. Be very careful about women who future themselves with you. More than likely she's stroking your eqo. Dont date casually or fun the jump in 2 months later after a LTR break up with you? I think you need to look into the mirror. For the best veteran lovers, it takes 1 yr for every 1 or 2 yr LTR to complete healing the heart, unless you see a teraphist, hypnoteraphy and focusing medation so forth. Most likely, she wants attention and is afraid of being lonely. Sometime though when you date, you just never know if you are dating a healed person or not. That does not matter cause as long as you are healed and ready, dont care what your ex is doing. Take care. Btw, been there many times already so speaking from experience. Edited May 16, 2013 by happydate
Els Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I really do want to believe this, but the other day I read an email she sent me last year telling me why she felt that way and why it was a momentary thing. There was no convincing or pressuring on my part. After reading the email I do not believe that the R was dead since last summer. It wasn't just an "i'm sorry i panicked email". she listed out a lot of good reasons about why she doesn't want to break up and why she feels right in this relationship. There are other reasons too, but I mean there is no point listing them out haha. It's over now and that's what matters. Just having a hard time moving on from something amazing. And I can't seem to shake the sense of false hope that she will come back - I think only time can fix that. I know it must be hard, especially when it lasted 2 years and you cared about her deeply. But the first thing you need to do is to try to get your mind off her. That means no analyzing why she left, or why she is with this guy so soon, or why she is with a 6' guy. None of that. Close the chapter so you can move on. Have you any friends or hobbies that can help with that?
Guest Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I think the hardest part for me is not being able to stop analyzing every little detail and then some. I guess that's just how my brain is wired. Unfortunately I do not have any friends in the area. I'm still overseas and all my friends are back in the States. I haven't picked up any new hobbies, but I have been working out consistently for the last 2 weeks and it definitely makes me feel better. I can't wait to start grad school soon - that way I'll have something to take my mind off her. My mind is a idle a lot, which is the biggest reason why it's fixated on her.
Els Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Might be good to pick up a new hobby, or do a little traveling and/or working prior to grad school. You'll be much better equipped to deal with this when you actually have something to focus on. Cause if my guess is right, grad school in the USA starts in August? That's way too long for someone in your situation to idle.
Guest Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Yea school starts in August. And you're right, 3 months is way too long for me to remain idle. I've been looking into a Summer job/internship to keep me busy for a couple of months. Thanks again for replying!
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