marrisueno Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 So.... my wife has been having an affair behind my back for 7 months. While I was traveling to cities she would bring this guy and have sex in our bed. Even on the day of our wedding anniversary. the other man is an italian officer who is also married. I hacked into my wife's laptop and found naked pictures of her and him doing the deed., in addition to daily emails/texts of sex/love for the 7 or so months. fortunately no children. I already filed for divorce, non contested, and she was foolish to sign the separation agreement requesting nothing. She has no remorse, blames me for working too hard. She showed more emotion in dividing up our furniture than trying to save our marriage. I bugged her phone and listened to the way she spoke about me to her friends...such a cold and deragatory manner. so I am leaving the area in a month or so. I am in the military and will be in asia. Considering a goodbye present for my soon to be ex-wife Thinking about telling the other man's wife, let her find out and give her all the pictures and emails, and do what she wishes with them... or hack into my ex- work/personal email and forward everyone the a copy o fthe emails and pictures. to everyone so they know the truth. up to know, she has painted me as the villian...only 1-2 people know that she had an affair, the rest believe I was a bad husband and she needs their comfort and care. / well what do you think? 3
vanhalenfan Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 I'm sorry you are having to deal with this! I say tell the Other Man's wife. Definitely. Present to her all of the evidence you found. I don't know if I would go so far as to email everyone you/she knows everything, but I would definitely tell the wife. I've found it's fairly 'normal' for the cheater to make the victim (i.e. you) out to be a villian to other people. It makes her feel okay about her decision to become an adulterer. Other people around her that she's feeding the lies to will make her feel justified for having the affair. I'm sure it lets her feel less guilty, even though deep down inside she knows she's doing wrong. So, I say share all you know with other man's wife. Then, let's see what happens from there... 3
GuyInLimbo Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 I say be the bigger man and walk away. You have your life back now. Let her wallow in her slimy life and be done with her. You got out free and clear. Move on and make a better life for yourself. 1
chelsea2011 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Tell the other man's wife if you have to, but I would stay away from hacking her work or personal email. It's illegal and you can get arrested. in my personal opinion, I would just walk away and be the bigger person.
PoopHappens Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 This one has some gray area. I'd consider it if for the simple reason the bastard had the gall to have sex in your house and bedroom. Even affairs have rules of engagement. Do consider the other person's wife. You could be destroying an innocent life in an effort to gain revenge. 1
aMguilts Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 well you`ve already hacked into more than you should of so whats a bit more to you? if it`ll make you feel better then do it aM 1
aMguilts Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 This one has some gray area. I'd consider it if for the simple reason the bastard had the gall to have sex in your house and bedroom. Even affairs have rules of engagement. Do consider the other person's wife. You could be destroying an innocent life in an effort to gain revenge. yeah but dont you think she has the right to know? wouldn`t you??? i know i would aM 1
PoopHappens Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 yeah but dont you think she has the right to know? wouldn`t you??? i know i would aM I know what your saying is probably true. But there are those who prefer blissful ignorance. Fact is, at this point I would likely tell the OM's wife. Still it's not clear cut.
Author marrisueno Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 I thought about "walking away" and being "the better man"....but his wife would WANT to know. I mean I would have wanted to know. the guy is a player, It's quite obvious. And if the 2 end up together, what kind of relationship born out of cheating/lies can survive? I laugh at that. My ex-wife did not suffer like i did....I was torn. But I realized that this happened for a reason and it will be better. I been seeing therapist and it has been a god-send...not only for this, but for other issues I had in life. I lost 15 lbs by working out, flattered about the compliments I get, am about to be a single active duty military physician, and am excited about my future with the lessons learned. My wife hinted and asked me if I was going to let the OM wife know...I said maybe, and she was angry that I would that. She states..."aren't you worried that she will freak out and try to find me and get confrontational or violent?". I responded with "In light of what you have done, do you think you deserve that?". 1
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Absolutely tell the other man's wife! She deserves to know! I hope that hacking her account is just a revenge fantasy! You have wayyyy to much to lose! I had some doozy revenge fantasys! The best revenge is living well. Good luck! 1
Author marrisueno Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 meh I already have the emails/contacts. I could just give it to the OM wife and let her do the dirty work.
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