seanmathews3 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 So my ex girlfriend (of 4 months, which I know is short but our feelings grew pretty quick) and I broke up about a month ago, I broke up with her due to me making a job/career move 12 hours away. It’s only for 6 months so I’ll be back towards her area later in the year. After the break up we saw eachother a handful of times before I left because we both wanted eachother to stay in our lives and not be just another “ex” that we make disappear. We’ll talk in the evenings after work but its pretty minimal conversations with how busy either of us are. We both say we miss eachother and have those strong feelings but it’s hard being “just friends”. Sometimes we’ll talk and open up and act close to eachother, but that hurts us both, as much as it feels good talking about how much we miss eachother and expressing our feelings, it hurts at the same time because we’re in some “fake” position it feels like. But at times we’ll go days without talking and that hurts too.. Basically it hurts talking to her and it hurts not talking to her because of the situation we’re in. We both agreed that we’ll stay in eachothers lives and later down the road we’ll catch up and see where things take us. Im just not sure where to go from here.. My head is a mess and I have trouble sleeping and focusing on my job because im constantly thinking about her and all this. We just got off the phone and were discussing where to go, because we obviously cant be “just friends”.. She kept asking me what it is I want and I couldn’t answer.. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in 6 months or where we’ll be and I don’t want none of us to get strung around like a lil puppy dog by trying to stay close, for something that may not rekindle. If that makes sense. One thing is telling me to give eachother space and just move on and get her out of my mind.. but another thing is telling me to try to make the just friends things work and keep eachother in our lives or try to stay close.. How do two ex’s stay friends? Is there something im missing or that we’re doing wrong? Or how do I know if the right thing is to just move on and that this isn’t the long term girl for me? Because the last thing I want to do is get caught up on a girl and waste years of my life, like a lot of my friends have. She told me to give her a call back this evening and I just want to get an idea of what direction to take.. or what's best for the both of us
Larry56 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 You seem like you're getting cold feet about the relationship. G.I.G.S and all that. You have to ask yourself if you're emotionally and sexually attracted to this women and if you see a future with her. If you don't then I would breakup. Buuuut. If you see a future and really really love this person. I don't see why you can't stay together while you are away. I mean, why breakup just because you feel guilty about not being there for her. You can still be there for her but it just kinda sounds like you're trying to hide the fact you want a "open-relationship" while you are away. So. Make a decision based on these things. I really recommend that if you DO Love her you try to make it WORK while you are away because it's not going to be EASY for either of you while you are away.
Recommended Posts