ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 All men like casual sex. It's just that not all men can get that type of no strings attached Arrangment so many have to lie I wouldn't say "like", but we'll take it most of the time. I'm at a point where only a relationship would do, even if it's short term.
joystickd Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Casual sex is a great option. Im sick and tired of having feelings for women and getting BS. When I just look for sex they love me.
colombiana28 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 just a guess, but wouldn't a guy get tired of cuddling and going down on you but never getting a bj OR sex in return? so after you come he's gotta rub one out each time? ehhhh... 1
MidwestUSA Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 just a guess, but wouldn't a guy get tired of cuddling and going down on you but never getting a bj OR sex in return? so after you come he's gotta rub one out each time? ehhhh... LOL, my thought exactly!
SmileFace Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 It is important the guy I choose is not a jerk, because a jerk would not respect my boundaries. I need a guy who is happy to be friends, who likes me, and who is up for the idea of helping me orgasm and enjoy myself on the odd occasion. I enjoy masturbating and do not want sex at all. Just a little hooking up once in a while. I need to just find a guy friend who would be keen with that idea. It will be hard - I do not like giving blow jobs unless I love a guy. I just don't want to have to bloody wait YEARS before I enjoy casual kissing and touching again! UGH. I am a SEXUAL person. I do not want to get into a relationship until it is the right guy for me, yet I do not WANT to go without hooking up for say, more than a year or so. Help! Wait...... What? Haha 1
MidwestUSA Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 It is important the guy I choose is not a jerk, because a jerk would not respect my boundaries. I need a guy who is happy to be friends, who likes me, and who is up for the idea of helping me orgasm and enjoy myself on the odd occasion. I enjoy masturbating and do not want sex at all. Just a little hooking up once in a while. I need to just find a guy friend who would be keen with that idea. It will be hard - I do not like giving blow jobs unless I love a guy. I just don't want to have to bloody wait YEARS before I enjoy casual kissing and touching again! UGH. I am a SEXUAL person. I do not want to get into a relationship until it is the right guy for me, yet I do not WANT to go without hooking up for say, more than a year or so. Help! If not for the cuddling and kissing, can't this be done via Skype? Opens the field up to a lot more people!
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Candie13 - I would only do it if I find a guy on my tour who is really attracted to me, and who would enjoy that type of arrangement. I will not have sex with them, as I cannot have sex outside a relationship that involves feelings. So they can very well have sex with other women.. yet yes I do need them to be into me and to prefer me over other girls. I just want a guy who likes and respects me, and also enjoys being around me and talking to me, and who likes the way I am. I want a guy who is into me, yet without the deep and meaningful stuff. I am not ready to open myself up to any other man and won't be for a good few months! It may not happen on the tour, there may not be a guy who is really attracted to me and who also really likes to be around me and is up for some casual hook ups. Instead of hoping it happens on the tour, I am just going to go over there with the intention of enjoying myself. I can always find a causal hook up buddy at home when I get back. There is no urgency to have to do it on my tour, it would just be a nice bonus to have a few touchy feely moments with a nice guy who likes me.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 And I do not agree that women like myself who enjoy casual hook ups, are easy, slutty, and not relationship material. I do not cheat, lie, or get close to other men when I am in a relationship. I am not easy, I have only slept with 3 bloody men in 10 years, and I have standards. I would much rather NOT fool around with any guy on the tour, than to settle for ANY Guy who is willing to touch me, but who does not like or respect me. I find it incredibly unsettling to think of giving my body to a man who thinks lowly of me, who does not enjoy my company, and who thinks very little of me. There ARE a lot of men I know at least, who do not think any less of a women if she enjoys the off make up session or touchy feely moments with a guy every now and again. Can people with this opinion sort of NOT contribute to my thread? I do not agree with your point of view, so your input is not wanted here. I am about to read the replies, brb.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 I think I have been sexually active for 4 years and have found only one guy who has been capable of this. We still sleep with each other Inbetween relationships and give each other advice. It is hard to find. Finding a guy to sleep with is easy - finding a casual sex partner isn't as easy. It either becomes too much work or feelings get mixed in. Either way I think you overanalyze to much be able to deal with that. Plus you really don't want it to be a friend That never works. Someone you are sexually attracted to and respects you is all you need. I didn't consider my self friends with the guy I mentioned until 6 months in and I lost my virginity to him. Well technically gave it to him I Just want someone who likes and respects me as a women. I am generous, kind to everyone I encounter, have a set career plan and future, and I am a person that a lot of people like to be around. I am not everyone's up of tea though, so I would rather the people I hook up with, be of the kind who LIKE me! I just need them to enjoy being around me, to be able to hang out and not feel awkward or uncomfortable, to always have things to say to them or to be able to sit in silence. Essential a person who likes me as a person, and is also attracted to me sexually. Without deep and meaningful discussions. If they want to share they are welcome to, but I certainly will not be sharing with them my life story, or any too personal accounts of the stories in my life. How did you find you guy? Can you please give me an example of a typical hang out and sex session? My ideal scenario would be: dude I can have dinner and drinks with, either at home or out (I need a guy who does not ONLY need to go out for dates, so as to save money for me since I am a STUDENT) Dude and I go shopping, walk around, go for a long walk, just generally hang out and talk, be genuinely interested in what each other has to say. Go home after to fool around and watch a movie with, or go to the movies and fool around in since I have a fettish for doing things in public.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Leigh, Leigh, Leigh … Why don't you take a moment and read your other thread - then read this one, and see if you can recognize the profound disconnect between the two. You don't need to be concerning yourself with how you will arrange casual sex and how you don't want to wait "forever" right now. How about getting actually separated from the man you just broke up with a few days ago - your deep love - first? Casual sex is always available. It's not even a thing worth starting threads over. 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 And I do not agree that women like myself who enjoy casual hook ups, are easy, slutty, and not relationship material. . I don't agree that they are, either. But I am not sure if you are really one of those casual sex people. If I recall correctly, the last time you tried it (some body builder in a gym, right?) you went completely off the deep end after you had sex with him. It was extremely not "casual." It's not bad - maybe it will be good for you - but really weird to be thinking about when you haven't even had day one of no contact following your breakup of about a week back. Don't you think?
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Leigh, Leigh, Leigh … Why don't you take a moment and read your other thread - then read this one, and see if you can recognize the profound disconnect between the two. You don't need to be concerning yourself with how you will arrange casual sex and how you don't want to wait "forever" right now. How about getting actually separated from the man you just broke up with a few days ago - your deep love - first? Casual sex is always available. It's not even a thing worth starting threads over. Exactly! Leigh, you're a girl. Just got to a bar and sit there. A guy will hit on you and do all of the work.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 I don't agree that they are, either. But I am not sure if you are really one of those casual sex people. If I recall correctly, the last time you tried it (some body builder in a gym, right?) you went completely off the deep end after you had sex with him. It was extremely not "casual." It's not bad - maybe it will be good for you - but really weird to be thinking about when you haven't even had day one of no contact following your breakup of about a week back. Don't you think? I am in total no contact for days. Although he texts me, I do not respond. He is getting the message that I am serious about either moving on, or him coming back and starting again with him. Andrew was extremely disturbed and offended when he found out I blocked him off facebook. Cutting ties with him FOR GOOD and saying " this is forever" freaked him out a lot, as he said " he does not feel this is forever" Even more reason to stick to no contact; since I have an ex who alludes to still loving me the same way and wanting another go with me once I " get therapy" regularly. .............................. The bodybuilder? That was because I just had anorexia, and had not been around people for about 5 years. I had not had sex or been with a guy sexually in years, and I freaked out about it. I had not developed my personality much, as I was only concerned about food and weight. Now I have matured enough to connect with a lot of people on many levels, and have a lot of friends and a few good friends now. Where as I had no friends or anyone around me the time I hooked up with Michael, the body builder. I always had casual sex before anorexia. I can separate feelings from fooling around from people. It was not feelings I had for Michael; I was offended that he did not think highly enough of me as a women. He thought I was nice and a decent person, yet I had little to say to him, in the way of conversation. These days I would be able to talk to a guy and interact with them, and have them like talking to me, rather than just going to their house, saying a few words, and then having sex within half an hour, the way I did with Michael. I am an entirely different person to the one I was in 2010. It makes a difference when you don't think about food and weight most of the time, when you have friends and are studying towards your future, and after you have gotten to know yourself through a loving relationship. Anyone who assumes I am the same person I was back then does not know me and their opinion is not a reality.
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Exactly! Leigh, you're a girl. Just got to a bar and sit there. A guy will hit on you and do all of the work. But I do not want some idiot at the bar. I do not just want ANY guy to get into my pants. I need to meet them outside of the bar settling. Yes I am sexual and want to enjoy being intimate (albeit minus the actual intercourse). But I AM NOT about to just sleep with any dude who is attracted to me. If I met a hot guy at the bar who has a job and seems like a funny and nice enough man, I would tell him to call me. If he did, I would get to know him, and if he LIKED me as a person and respected me (which most guys do if your a nice person, have career direction, and you know, arenot a total drop kick) THEN I would make the suggestion of casual hook up buddies. I would not do it with a guy who I did not feel I knew well enough. I am looking for guys who can see that I am not some slut for wanting to enjoy my sexuality outside of a committed R. Luckily for me, there are men out there who would think that I am a decent girl, even though I want to enjoy casual hook ups.
Els Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 My ideal scenario would be: dude I can have dinner and drinks with, either at home or out (I need a guy who does not ONLY need to go out for dates, so as to save money for me since I am a STUDENT) Dude and I go shopping, walk around, go for a long walk, just generally hang out and talk, be genuinely interested in what each other has to say. Go home after to fool around and watch a movie with, or go to the movies and fool around in since I have a fettish for doing things in public. Leigh, I don't know any guys who want to do this with a woman whom they aren't interested in having a R with. Especially since yours is going to be a FWB without intercourse arrangement, with no long-term potential? Really can't see why anyone would want that. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Well I sure aint waiting until I find the right guy for a long term R, to make out and fool around with a guy. It does not mean the guy has to dislike me and lack respect for me, either. I am sure, in some capacity, there will be guys out there who like me as a person, respect me, and agree with a casual arrangement. If they catch feelings, I will come on here and be like " I need to cut contact, as I am not ready for a full blown R. HELP" LOL.
Els Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Guys who want a casual arrangement want SEX, Leigh. Why would a guy want to cuddle, kiss, go shopping, cook with, and spend hours talking to a woman who is neither interested in him as a romantic partner NOR wants to have sex with him? 1
mesmerized Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Guys who want a casual arrangement want SEX, Leigh. Why would a guy want to cuddle, kiss, go shopping, cook with, and spend hours talking to a woman who is neither interested in him as a romantic partner NOR wants to have sex with him? true. Unless you go for really ugly men who just have no options whatsoever. Then they might do anything to just have their penis touched lol
TaraMaiden Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Someone pinch me and wake me up I'm having a friggin' nightmare here..... 3
KungFuJoe Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Well I sure aint waiting until I find the right guy for a long term R, to make out and fool around with a guy. It does not mean the guy has to dislike me and lack respect for me, either. I am sure, in some capacity, there will be guys out there who like me as a person, respect me, and agree with a casual arrangement. If they catch feelings, I will come on here and be like " I need to cut contact, as I am not ready for a full blown R. HELP" LOL. Just based on what you've been saying, I would say you are NOT cut out for the casual sex thing. Seriously...it's been mentioned...but casual sex is just that...casual. It requires very little thinking or planning. The fact that you started a thread on something as trivial as brushing your teeth in the morning says a lot. 4
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Well I don't really like the idea of not getting to experience sexual pleasure for over a year. What about the occasional fling then? With a guy who at LEAST enjoys talking to me for that one night? Sorry but it is going to take a lot of time for me to get into another relationship, and I do not want to say goodbye to sexual experiences with men until then. Just a fling every couple of months would suffice' a bit to drink, ending up on the couch touching once or twice. I do not need to hook up every week or even every MONTH for that matter.
RogerWallace111 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Yes, OF F*CKING COURSE there are easy-come-easy-go, yet good-intentioned guys who like to pleasure females. And who will sincerely find you fun to be around. Case-closed. You'll be able to find one. Just avoid getting impatient and jumping for one who's a self-absorbed type of "lover".
Author Leigh 87 Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 From what people have mentioned also: I think I will stick to a one time fling, rather than try to maintain some tricky situation with a person... I mean - if I want a guy who really likes and respects me, enjoys being around me AND is really attracted to me - it will probably turn into more than a casual thing. That is what relationships are for; spending time with a person you really like and respect, who you also enjoy sex with. I guess what I need is the occasional fling with a person I meet out once (as I do not do one night stands). I will give you a scenario I think I will ENJOY and handle reasonably! Leigh meets a guy at bar or club. We get along well, he enjoys my company, and is obviously keen to have casual fun. If he agrees to hang out in a sober setting, to watch movies and THEN have some wine together, we will have a fling. To prevent it from becoming a casual arrangement, it will be a 2 or 3 time thing, to prevent any sort of feelings from developing. How does that sound? I talk to a guy, we arrange to meet up and hang out and fool around a couple of times to help satisfy each others needs. I will not do it often, as I much prefer a loving relationship and the sex that is involved in that context.
PogoStick Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Stop over thinking it. You have no idea who you will meet or in what context. If you meet someone you like then bang him. 4
RogerWallace111 Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 well, you're right, if he particularly fancies you it's sticky. and 2 or 3 times hanging out being intimate can easily lead to some feelings and sh*t. I don't know. It's a rough spot and as I type this I'm realizing I'm in about the same one... I don't want a relationship as my life since my one long term has been more exciting, interesting and deeply satisfying in a way it wasn't while coupled up. And I don't want to hop into that complacent mode where all I worry about is some girl. I don't want to be "alone" in all aspects, but the one girl I've been hooking up with has apparently been developing some significant feelings (regardless of my warnings), and that's not cool. The line between "person I like somewhat and am attracted to sexually" and "person I want to get know much better and am attracted to sexually" is thin. I think about it regularly. How it would make me happy to go find some cool chick, hang out with her casually, get eachother off, but have it stay no big thing. But then I think... If I'm really enjoying it, what's gonna stop me from wanting it all the time and making her my lady. It's f*cked !
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