edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I have been dating with a girl for the last 1 1/2 month.i really like her and i think(i am sure to be honnest) that i have fallen in love with her.I enjoy so much my time with her and everytime we separate i cant wait for the next time we re gonna meet.She has shown signs that she likes me too like texting me "i miss you baby" in the middle of the night while i m away on trips,she has told me that i am the only person who makes her happy recently and she is almost always there when i am asking her out. There is one problem though.She broke up with her ex 8 months ago and i think that she is still a bit hurted from it and not totally over him.and for this reason i have not showed to her how i feel and how mad i am about her.I keep playing hard to get ignoring her for a couple of days after a date,never calling her back a sweet nick when she calls me "baby boo" and genereally acting like i dont care too much.I find it very hard to trust her.she has told me that she is not dating anyone else except me but i find it hard to believe too. The thing is its killing me inside day by day playing love like its just a game,not being able to show her how i feel.After all love isnt supposed to be like that.I want her exclusively mine to be my girlfriend and spend more time together.So tomorrow evening that we have a date should i talk to her clearly about my feelings even if i know i might end up hurted at the end of the night?Or is it better to just walk way no matter how deeply in love i am?there is a quote saying: "sometimes all you have to do is forget what you want and remember what you deserve".
Author edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 so u think i shouldnt even ask her if we are dating exclusively or about how we both feel for each other at this point?
othersideofthepillow Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 DON'T TELL HER YOU LOVE HER. Even if she does have any feelings of love for you in return, chances are you are going to freak her out and send her running for the hills. What you should do, next time you hangout/go on a date, simply let your guard down a little bit. Stop playing hard to get and bring up how much you like spending time with her and that you would love the idea of becoming exclusive and see where things go! That shows her that you are def interested in her and if the feelings are mutual, she will agree and you'll be all set. Love is not a game by any means but it is like nothing else. There are rules but than again there aren't. Simply ending it and "forgetting" won't make either of you happy and chances are that if that's what you do - YOUR GOING TO REGRET IT. So IMO - communicate. Don't drop the L word but gently bring it up how you would like to become exclusive and see how everything goes! Good luck 3
Author edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 othesideof the pillow dude i dont love her.i am just in love with her.these are 2 totally different things.i am sorry if i made it misunderstood in my thread.so you think i should tell her in a gently way that i want it to become more exclusive?or show it with actions? Well walking away would be the easy way and i would regret it one day but by staying i might get so much hurted.to me this girl is so extraordinary,i feel like i have never felt before.and if it goes bad it might tear me apart..
othersideofthepillow Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 In love with someone is a lot deeper than just loving them. You love your friends and family but when your in love - you'd do anything in the world for that person. Take it slow! That's great that you found someone that makes you feel that way, but as long as it's going well - you don't need to rush things. Enjoy each other and still get to know each other better. By doing this you get to know her even better as a personal, a partner, and a friend. You should tell her and also do little things to show her. You don't need any grand gestures, but women LOVE the little things so just do the little things for her! Regret is the worst thing in the world and it seems like walking away would do nothing positive for you. It's like the saying goes "Nothing great is ever easy" - you have to take the chance and risk being hurt to get the greatness! 2
Author edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 To be honnest its nice that we dont rush things and get to know each other better and batter.i just want it to be exclusive.if she tells me that she is not dating only me i dont think i can take it coz i am in love with her.And lets suppose that she still has the fewest feelings about her ex.is it still worthy staying and risking you think?or its a potential unwining battle?
BluEyeL Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Just tell her you want exclusivity. I think it'll go well. don't be so afraid! 2
Author edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 yeah i ll tell her tomorrow at least about the exclusivity i want.but if she tells me she is dating more guys than me?what sould my reaction be then?
BluEyeL Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 yeah i ll tell her tomorrow at least about the exclusivity i want.but if she tells me she is dating more guys than me?what sould my reaction be then? She can tell you, I'm dating more guys, but I'll drop them and we'll be exclusive. Or she can tell you just yes, I want to be exclusive. Or she can tell you, no, I don't want to be exclusive. If she says no, you walk away.
Author edelveis Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 yeah you are right.and last thing, when should i oppen this conversation and how?it will be a bit tough to find the right words.i never had the need to ask for exclusivity before coz my relationships were natually going into exclusivity until now.
todreaminblue Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 yeah i ll tell her tomorrow at least about the exclusivity i want.but if she tells me she is dating more guys than me?what sould my reaction be then? She has already told you she is dating only you so asking for exclusivity is not a stretch....Be confident and trust in her telling you the truth.....best wishes...deb 1
BluEyeL Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 yeah you are right.and last thing, when should i oppen this conversation and how?it will be a bit tough to find the right words.i never had the need to ask for exclusivity before coz my relationships were natually going into exclusivity until now. Towards the end of the date, say something like:"I like you a lot, and we get along great. We've been out for 1.5 months already, and at this point, I think I'd like us to be exclusive. What do you think, would you be ready for that?"
othersideofthepillow Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Well up until you both decide to be exclusive - she can do whatever she wants! not that she is, just that she could be - so obviously get it out of the way soon so your not beating yourself up with worry!......also... ...you gotta RELAX... ...just make it as natural as possible. Don't try and figure out exactly what to say cause that will come of scripted and lack sincerity in her eyes. Women like to see a bit of nervousness when it comes to matters of the heart - it shows them how much you like them. I think that it will go well for you!
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