Define "Chemistry"

[PCS991]

I'd like to see the various responses to what members define as chemistry. The whole animal magnetism thing and the chemistry that seems to be so important but so elusive baffles me.

 

Here's why. I was introduced to a women through my sister, we had a GREAT time, everything in common, two peas in a pod, whatever you want to call it. Our ages, likes/dislikes, attractiveness, political views, work ethics, music, attire, she thinks I'm amazing looking, I obviously think the same of her, it was all in line but moving past the point of platonic friendship is not an option because as she stated it "chemistry wasn't there".

 

Thanks

[Treasa]

She didn't want to have sex with you.

[CryForNoOne]

I'd like to see the various responses to what members define as chemistry. The whole animal magnetism thing and the chemistry that seems to be so important but so elusive baffles me.

 

Here's why. I was introduced to a women through my sister, we had a GREAT time, everything in common, two peas in a pod, whatever you want to call it. Our ages, likes/dislikes, attractiveness, political views, work ethics, music, attire, she thinks I'm amazing looking, I obviously think the same of her, it was all in line but moving past the point of platonic friendship is not an option because as she stated it "chemistry wasn't there".

 

Thanks

 

I used to make this mistake. Chemistry is NOT we have a everything in common, ages, likes /dislikes, religion, music, politics, looks... That's just fantasizing, list making, putting someone on a pedestal. Chemistry IS when something goes horribly wrong in a date and it doesn't matter. Chemistry means everything doesn't need to be PERFECT for you to be incredibly attracted to one another. When you have chemistry, it's pretty hard to mess things up...

[GI_Joy]

Chemistry is almost like an unspoken language that two people have. It's meeting someone and not a beat was skipped, it's as if you two have known each other for a long time. If it's sexual/romantic chemistry it seems to be something that everyone else in the room can catch on to, perhaps with denial or without the acknowledgement of the two people in question. I've felt chemistry with many people. Romantic chemistry, sexual chemistry, friendship chemistry.

[PCS991]

Thanks for input thus far. Wow. All of my life I've understood chemistry as having everything or many things in common, I've done a lot of reading today just to come to grips with the term and I guess it's simply something none of us can control, it just happens...right?

 

Let me ask this. Can chemistry occur later on in the friendship? The two of us will always be great friends, she told me that she hopes I want to remain great friends and of course I said yes, I enjoy her company I'm not going to lie or come off like a wise ass. I'm just wondering if later in life chemistry can build or ignite suddenly in the friendship?

 

Thanks

[soccerrprp]

Thanks for input thus far. Wow. All of my life I've understood chemistry as having everything or many things in common, I've done a lot of reading today just to come to grips with the term and I guess it's simply something none of us can control, it just happens...right?

 

Let me ask this. Can chemistry occur later on in the friendship? The two of us will always be great friends, she told me that she hopes I want to remain great friends and of course I said yes, I enjoy her company I'm not going to lie or come off like a wise ass. I'm just wondering if later in life chemistry can build or ignite suddenly in the friendship?

 

Thanks

 

Yes, of course this can happen. Chemistry entails many intangibles and if it doesn't exist now, it likely will not in the foreseeable future. Don't wait on her until it does. Move on and find someone else.

 

In this case, if chemistry does develop, it will naturally and not forced...be her friend (if that is possible) and live your own life and pursue other ladies.

[hppr]

She didn't want to have sex with you.

 

This. She just wasn't attracted to you, sorry bud these things happen.

[ThaWholigan]

In my opinion, there are different types of "chemistry". The one most guys in particularly reference (usually somewhat mockingly) is physical/sexual chemistry - and usually put it down solely to looks. Which is half right actually, it's mostly looks unless the girl isn't really into looks like that (yeah, there are those believe it or not). The problem is guys think it's always the same look (we all know what it is) - and in my observations, that hasn't always been the case. Saying that, it's plain to see that there is a look that is more popular than others nowadays. That's just how it is........

 

There is intellectual chemistry that can stimulate in a variety of ways, and some women resonate more on that level than they do physical, but a lot of girls prefer some combo.

 

It varies to be honest, but if you were looking for physical/sexual chemistry, you might not find it here with this one.

[USMCHokie]

Chemistry = you are physically attractive enough that they want to have sex with your OR you have a good enough personality (or wealth or fame or status, etc.) to make up for a lack of physical attractiveness.

[Eternal Sunshine]

When I tell a guy that there is no chemistry, I mean that I don't want to touch him, kiss him or have sex with him. Things in common are irrelevant.

[carhill]

The really interesting individuals to examine are those who speak of 'chemistry', demonstrate 'chemistry' through words and actions but, in the end, display the 'you must've misunderstood' sign.

 

I think of 'chemistry' as 'glue', an emotional and spiritual synergy which impels intimacy to move beyond the superficial, beyond the casual, beyond the platonic to a state of elemental bonding at the emotional and spiritual level where sex becomes a natural and desired expression of the 'chemistry' the two partners feel.

 

Maybe someday...

[BoneyHadger]

I'd define it simply as strong emotional reaction which suggests being attracted to another person.

[LittleTiger]

Assuming we're talking about sexual chemistry - two people meet and are just drawn to one another, physically and emotionally.

 

There is no known explanation for why this happens although scientists are studying it all the time. One theory is that we are drawn physically to people who have a different immune system to our own (evidenced by pheromones which make us smell different - although we're not necessarily aware of it). The more different our immune systems the more chance that our offspring will survive. It's basically a chemical reaction between two human beings and we have no control over it.

 

You can still be drawn to someone emotionally without the physical aspect and that's how friendships are formed. If a woman feels no sexual chemistry, regardless of how good looking you are, or how much you have in common, she won't want to have sex with you. C'est la vie!

[todreaminblue]

I'd like to see the various responses to what members define as chemistry. The whole animal magnetism thing and the chemistry that seems to be so important but so elusive baffles me.

 

Here's why. I was introduced to a women through my sister, we had a GREAT time, everything in common, two peas in a pod, whatever you want to call it. Our ages, likes/dislikes, attractiveness, political views, work ethics, music, attire, she thinks I'm amazing looking, I obviously think the same of her, it was all in line but moving past the point of platonic friendship is not an option because as she stated it "chemistry wasn't there".

 

Thanks

 

 

when i feel chemistry for someone i know where they are in the room, i know when they walk in or when they walk out...because my heart does crazy stuff...has nothing to do with sex....and i hardly ever feel that magnetism......thank god above for that..i think magnetism is when you actually feel happy being around them and like really needing to get out of there all at the same time, when someone is around ...is that too simple and a bit nuts..like magnets drawn together and repelled .....deb

[GoodOnPaper]

I'd like to see the various responses to what members define as chemistry. The whole animal magnetism thing and the chemistry that seems to be so important but so elusive baffles me.

 

Here's why. I was introduced to a women through my sister, we had a GREAT time, everything in common, two peas in a pod, whatever you want to call it. Our ages, likes/dislikes, attractiveness, political views, work ethics, music, attire, she thinks I'm amazing looking, I obviously think the same of her, it was all in line but moving past the point of platonic friendship is not an option because as she stated it "chemistry wasn't there".

 

Thanks

 

I think it's very difficult to describe in words what "chemistry" is. It may be a little easier just to be in tune with how you and/or the woman you are talking with feel and act when there may be "chemistry".

 

Disclosure -- I come from a similar history of cluelessness when it comes to this. I've been married almost 20 years and I've only be able to recognize "chemistry" in the last few years. I don't generate any animal magnetism whatsoever, so I would have to say that it takes two people to generate "chemistry" together -- things "sync" or "vibe" just a little bit more or with a little more enthusiasm or with a little more touchy-feeliness than in most friendly interactions you have with women. Maybe it's compatible senses of humor, maybe pheromones are involved, who knows?

 

I'm in my mid-40s and I can think of four cases where I have or had what I think of as "chemistry" with specific women. It's certainly nothing that I felt like I had any control over -- I know that in order to be successful with women, we guys are supposed to be able to "generate" chemistry with any woman at will, but I simply don't have that in me. It's like holding water -- the harder you grip, the more it escapes.