Thinking of breaking no contact

[Moemone]

Heart broken. Thinking of breaking no contact, I really didn't want to face the pain and the crying, I wanted it to just be over with. How does it go? What's the getting over it process.

 

Don't know what I'd say if I broke no contact because I was the one who sent a messages saying "There's nothing to hold on too knowing that you have these two other girls and the stuff you did right in my face that's all that's been on my mind they live closer you talk to them more than you talk to me. I just feel like I don't want to be part of the mess. You just shouldn't have done this in my face. Sigh! Can't even sleep"

 

He would chat other women right there in my face while I lay with him, his girlfriend is back home to stay and before he stopped calling, he would call and all I thought of was how he was calling and texting the other girls too.

 

Should I call him to find out what he is thinking he never called after I sent the text. I'm just wondering what he is thinking.

 

I just want to let him go I know it's the best thing but how?

Crying been up all night I pray to God that I don't go down that road again.

Edited May 14, 2013 by Moemone
Missing line

[ThatJustHappened]

No..hold on to the rest of your dignity.

[who_am_i]

Don't do it!

 

Here's the thing...if you were able to read what you just posted with a level head you would be able to see that you deserve so much more then what he is doing to you.

 

Today it has been 3 months since I've spoke to my xMM. Just yesterday I reread my first post here and was horrified by the things that I said. I know that it's hard to believe it now, but it will get easier.

 

The best advice I ever got here was when someone said something like...

 

He knows where you are. He knows how to find you. If he wanted to talk to you he would. He hasn't because he doesn't want to.

 

I know that it sounds really harsh to think of it this way, but I believe that whoever said this to me was absolutely right. I was not a priority before and I'm obviously not a propriety now. Contacting him just makes me look like a bigger sucker and gives him more control. This thought is what keeps me from contacting him every single day. At first it was awful...but it has been getting easier.

 

Have a little faith in yourself that you can do this. I know it seems like the pain is going to haunt you forever. But I have learned a lot from some pretty strong ladies on here. At this point I would kiss whoever it was that gave me that great advice. I hope you'll find some strength in it too.

[Moemone]

I messages him and kept telling him I hope he understands why it had to end and how I was feeling. I told him I cannot handle 2nd. He never replied got me angry and sad, i an crying but after reading your post ill take it to survive the way.

 

I can't believe these things really do hurt

 

I'm starting to feel like I could have been his ow and maybe it would work and now I have all those flashbacks, it's like I want to change my mind even though I know it's wrong or maybe I should wait for him to end it or something, I just could afford to see me in pain

 

I sent him:

I don't know how to explain it but I believe you're old enough, mature enough and you understand what I'm saying. I really don't think I can handle it now that your gf is back and I am not asking you to leave or anything, I am asking you to agree with me on doing what's right for us both. I don't want to put my self through that and you.

 

I love you and some part of me is willing to be patient, it's willing to settle for second, it's willing to see you once a month if that's the case but the other part of me believes it will be less pain and is not willing to settle for less

 

Etc

 

He never said a word. I'm crying don't know why because I'm the one who wanted it over and now I don't know how to deal with it

Edited May 14, 2013 by Moemone

[goneundone]

He will never understand if he already doesn't. We can't change how other people feel. We can only change ourselves. We can't force others to care for us, or love us.

 

Don't do it. You will be stooping down to a level you don't belong. You are the bigger person. You are the strong woman who does not fall into this trap. You get whatever you want, and you want a man to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Do not stoop down to his level. If you play with fire, you will get burned.

[Moemone]

Thanks LSers for the support its what I need right now, I did foolishly send a last message saying

 

If you never call or text after today I'm going with that. I won't text or call after today. If you decide that you understand my feelings and agree that you should let it go and tell me I'm going to agree, if you think it could work and decide that we can get through this I'm gone. Hope you pick the one that's right for us both and either would still in the end make us both happy.

You be good enjoy your day/ or days.

I'm with you on whatever happens after today.

 

 

Now that I read the replies I feel bad for doing this but I will leave it as his. I hate to admit it but he isn't concerned with how I feel. He is 2o years older 23. I know right now his gf is back and he has others so I don't really matter but time is the greatest healer.

 

I put all my effort in those two years it just hurts that he didn't at least come to an understanding so I can move on better knowing we did this together with understanding. If it was him I'd understand.

 

I really can't be second now that she's back knowing that he is fooling or flirting around. It's just not special anymore.

 

I'm glad people understand me at least I can keep coming here to read under this thread.

[whichwayisup]

Do not contact him. write out what you want to say to him on here.

 

No contact = no new hurts! Remember that!

[BrokenPrincess]

Thanks LSers for the support its what I need right now, I did foolishly send a last message saying

 

If you never call or text after today I'm going with that. I won't text or call after today. If you decide that you understand my feelings and agree that you should let it go and tell me I'm going to agree, if you think it could work and decide that we can get through this I'm gone. Hope you pick the one that's right for us both and either would still in the end make us both happy.

You be good enjoy your day/ or days.

I'm with you on whatever happens after today.

 

I'm sorry but I'm really confused ^^^ What does this mean? What are you trying to ask him?

 

Did he write back?

[Lillyfree]

Thanks LSers for the support its what I need right now, I did foolishly send a last message saying

 

If you never call or text after today I'm going with that. I won't text or call after today. If you decide that you understand my feelings and agree that you should let it go and tell me I'm going to agree, if you think it could work and decide that we can get through this I'm gone. Hope you pick the one that's right for us both and either would still in the end make us both happy.

You be good enjoy your day/ or days.

I'm with you on whatever happens after today.

 

 

Now that I read the replies I feel bad for doing this but I will leave it as his. I hate to admit it but he isn't concerned with how I feel. He is 2o years older 23. I know right now his gf is back and he has others so I don't really matter but time is the greatest healer.

 

I put all my effort in those two years it just hurts that he didn't at least come to an understanding so I can move on better knowing we did this together with understanding. If it was him I'd understand.

 

I really can't be second now that she's back knowing that he is fooling or flirting around. It's just not special anymore.

 

 

1: so you're happy being second, but not one-of-seconds?

 

2: you messaged him, he doesn't reply, you message him again saying (i think at least) that it's up to him to decide what happens?! wtf?

 

what is it about this guy that's so appealing to you? to the extent that you're willing to throw your pride and self-worth to the ground and keep stomping on it?

 

3: if he chose to be with you as his gf in the open, what do you think you'll be getting?

[Moemone]

Broken princess. Nope he never replied..

 

Lily free

I know it sounds ridiculous and I realize that after I sent the messages I thought of texting him again saying font call or text but then I decided to just let it go and move on. I know it's sad. The only thing I think I got was company film fact barely company.

 

Loads of questions to take me back to reality

[Lillyfree]

 

I know it sounds ridiculous and I realize that after I sent the messages I thought of texting him again saying font call or text but then I decided to just let it go and move on. I know it's sad. The only thing I think I got was company film fact barely company.

 

Loads of questions to take me back to reality

 

oh sweetie... i didn't mean to be harsh.

 

i know that it's hard to see now when you're hurting... but the guy is a POS who isn't worth the trouble. and you're selling yourself short.

 

you've dodged a bullet here. don't message him anymore, go total NC. i give it a couple of weeks before you go 'wtf was i thinking'.

[Moemone]

I'm actually thankful. I need a reality check.

 

My decision has been made I just felt like I need a strong support system

And LS is doing just that.

 

So thankful that people care enough to read and advice. Harsh adv is the best advice that's when the truth kicks in and you're reminded that this is reality. I'm trying hard as I have decided to move on and go through the process of pain and healing

[Moemone]

Today is another day in the struggle. Still can't really believe it's over. I guess that's part of it

Edited May 15, 2013 by Moemone

[Moemone]

Silence is dignity and power! Love this

 

 

 

 

QUOTE=LadyGrey;4883443]Time to start all over hon. NC means no new hurts.

 

In the future, think of how humiliated you feel right now. You offered yourself up on a silver platter and he killed you with no response.

 

Silence is dignity and power. No man is worth being humiliated for. A lesson I have learned the hard way.

 

Big hugs...........

[Moemone]

So he text me but I didn't reply I was actually feeling better that he wasn't texting he said hi and I don't know what to say orif I should reply.

 

I guess I won't. I would have just said hey! So

 

Hey!

 

It seemed easy, and felt like I got this and I'm moving forward don't want that feeling to go away, this could just be a test to see if I still have the number or blocked him etc.

[Lillyfree]

So he text me but I didn't reply I was actually feeling better that he wasn't texting he said hi and I don't know what to say orif I should reply.

 

I guess I won't. I would have just said hey! So

 

Hey!

 

It seemed easy, and felt like I got this and I'm moving forward don't want that feeling to go away, this could just be a test to see if I still have the number or blocked him etc.

 

as wiser said, it's just games.

 

if you need to reply, do it with 'this message could not be delivered as owner of this number has blocked you'.

[Moemone]

Thanks. I won't reply. As much as I feel like I miss him I love the way that I'm feeling now knowing that I'm moving on.

 

 

Lily I didn't block him on this app, it's an iPhone app called "what'sapp" if I sent the message he will know I'm doing this I read it and ignore so he also knows that I did and I blocked him.

 

Thanks to LS I have strength.

 

Wish I knew of LS WHen I left him for over three months. Wiser now

 

as wiser said, it's just games.

 

if you need to reply, do it with 'this message could not be delivered as owner of this number has blocked you'.

[Lillyfree]

Thanks. I won't reply. As much as I feel like I miss him I love the way that I'm feeling now knowing that I'm moving on.

 

 

Lily I didn't block him on this app, it's an iPhone app called "what'sapp" if I sent the message he will know I'm doing this I read it and ignore so he also knows that I did and I blocked him.

 

Thanks to LS I have strength.

 

Wish I knew of LS WHen I left him for over three months. Wiser now

 

i'm glad you're feeling better

 

you might feel worse in days/weeks to come. and during those times, come here and post instead of reaching out to him again.

 

and mostly, take care of yourself.

[BrokenPrincess]

Did his text just say "hi"? That's it??

 

Great job staying strong!

Edited May 16, 2013 by BrokenPrincess

[Moemone]

All he text was hi'

 

This guy put me through hell, well I put me through hell. I'm thinking of all the bad stuff he did to me, eg. We were at the supper market and we saw a friend and his next question to me was "did you do him" ill know if you did he will tell. He had no respect for me. I felt disrespected.

[Moemone]

He is calling now. I'm afraid to not give in and then later feel the need to give in.

 

I prefer if he didn't call and I grieve for a while

[forgetmenot75]

I hope you read this and see reality for a second:

 

 

STOP CONTACTING HIM

HE DOESN'T CARE

YOU ARE A DOOR MAT AT THIS MOMENT

YOU DESERVE BETTER

[forgetmenot75]

Gee, this guy sounds like a real prince. Does he have a brother you can hook me up with?

 

What a friggen loser. I wouldn't spit on this piece of sh*t if he were on fire.

 

Seriously OP, get a freakin grip. You'd do better going to the local prison and hitting on some dirtbag whose in for his 5th DUI. Jesus.

 

Omg, you're hilarious! I'm cracking up right now

[Moemone]

It's been two days since I contacted him.

He never replied the day I wanted to end it

That was Tuesday,

He send hi on Wednesday evening

And one miss call today, don't know why

 

We never spoke of him leaving his gf. We made no promises of that sought, deep inside I hoped he would be mine but I watched love his gf unconditionally.

 

That's shy I decided its not for me adding to that he has other gfs.

 

I'm taking this hard right now. I just want this pain over with. If he decided to end it with me the pain wouldn't have been so bad. I know he is a cake eater.

 

Hurt!

[DelusionalOne]

I hope you read this and see reality for a second:

 

YOU ARE A DOOR MAT AT THIS MOMENT

YOU DESERVE BETTER

 

Truer words have never been spoken.

 

Someone said this once when I was at the beginning of NC... And thru the breadcrumbs and me wanting to rationalize a reason to contact xMM this statement has kept me NC weeks and weeks. I don't even know how long anymore 100+ days... Coming up on 4 months. You break NC and he will know you are a doormat and he can do and treat you anyway he wants and you will just accept it.

 

I AM NOT A DOORMAT. I WILL NOT ALLOW SOMEONE TO TREAT ME BADLY AND THINK I WILL COME RUNNING WHEN THEY WANT ME BACK.

 

Say that over and over...repeat after me... I AM NOT A DOORMAT. I AM NOT A DOORMAT!! Good...keep going. Now say it at the top of your lungs with conviction!!!!!!