annabelle26 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 So my boyfriend of about two months is overall a nice guy but there's a few things that are sort of pissing me off....am I overreacting or is this unreasonable? He keeps saying things like what do you want to do or moaning that we did nothing at the weekend but when I suggest something he initially says yes then comes up with an excuse to not do it. Every plan I have tried to make with him so far has been blown off in favour of drinking and smoking weed with his friend, basically. Though I'm always invited, despite not being much of a drinker or smoker anyway. He also seems seems to sulk when I make plans with friends (even though I invite him but he always declines) - I don't get it. If you don't want to come fine, but can you really be feeling upset that I go ahead with plans if you don't want to go? He seems to want to spend all his time with me but only doing things he wants us to do. I want to say something to him about it but what? I don't want an argument but this is something that needs sorting surely?
Chief Wiggum Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 You're dating a pot-head? Yeah, get out of it while you can. There's enough in your post to suggest it's a pretty miserable relationship. Neither of you like doing things that the other enjoys. Why prolong it? Sounds like you'll be doing each other a favour if you moved on.
Author annabelle26 Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 You're dating a pot-head? Yeah, get out of it while you can. There's enough in your post to suggest it's a pretty miserable relationship. Neither of you like doing things that the other enjoys. Why prolong it? Sounds like you'll be doing each other a favour if you moved on. It's not miserable at all, I stated he was a nice guy. And I haven't voiced this issue at all with him Congrats in missing everything that I actually asked...
serial muse Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 (edited) It's not miserable at all, I stated he was a nice guy. And I haven't voiced this issue at all with him Congrats in missing everything that I actually asked... I don't know, it seemed to me that basically Wiggum there was just agreeing with your title - you can't win here. You say he's a nice guy, but everything else you said did sound miserable. Maybe there's more to this, but we can only go on the information you gave: 1. He whines about not doing stuff on the weekend 2. He doesn't want to do stuff you suggest 3. He wants to drink/smoke pot with his buddies 4. You don't want to do that 5. He doesn't like it when you hang out with your friends, despite all of the above Honestly, it's hard to see much connection between you two here, or why you'd want to continue dating someone who doesn't really seem to have similar interests to yours, and isn't open to adjusting. What are we missing, if anything? Edited May 14, 2013 by serial muse 2
Author annabelle26 Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 I don't know, it seemed to me that basically Wiggum there was just agreeing with your title - you can't win here. You say he's a nice guy, but everything else you said did sound miserable. Maybe there's more to this, but we can only go on the information you gave: 1. He whines about not doing stuff on the weekend 2. He doesn't want to do stuff you suggest 3. He wants to drink/smoke pot with his buddies 4. You don't want to do that 5. He doesn't like it when you hang out with your friends, despite all of the above Honestly, it's hard to see much connection between you two here, or why you'd want to continue dating someone who doesn't really seem to have similar interests to yours, and isn't open to adjusting. What are we missing, if anything? Really? You're missing the questions, the very purpose of my thread...
MidwestUSA Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 You want us to tell you what you should say to him, is that correct?
serial muse Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Really? You're missing the questions, the very purpose of my thread... You asked: Am I overreacting, or is this unreasonable? I think it's pretty clear that the answer so far has been: it's unreasonable. You asked: can you really be feeling upset that I go ahead with plans if you don't want to go? I think it's pretty clear that the answer was: we agree that that's weird, that he feels that way, but it's not really a question directed us, is it? It's one you could ask him. Why haven't you? You asked: I want to say something to him about it but what? I don't want an argument but this is something that needs sorting surely? It's obvious that it needs sorting, and I think the responses here so far make that clear. You know it, we know it. The only real question is why you haven't said anything to him about it. As for what to say, I think you should tell him exactly what you told us. It just feels like you already know the answers to the questions you're asking, and were looking for validation that the situation isn't OK. So, yes, it's not OK. 1
Treasa Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 He wants to be with you, but on his own terms. You could tell him to quit complaining if he doesn't want to be flexible on what you two do together. Or....you could just keep going with what's already happening. I think I'd have dumped him before this, though.
Chief Wiggum Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Really? You're missing the questions, the very purpose of my thread... We're only going by the little information you've given us. As for the purpose of your thread, you just wanna' know how to address this problem with him? Well, not much we can say other than to have a word with him -- about these issues you're having -- and see where it takes you.
ChessPieceFace Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 drinking and smoking weed with his friend Sounds like a winner!
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