He wanted neither to be a friend nor a lover? What did he want?

[jolie_baby]

Hello everyone

 

A few years ago, I have met someone online, a friend of a friend, he lives in another country where the time difference is about 11 hours. We found out we had a lot in common and started to spend more time chatting, texting and occassionally calling. It would be evening here and he would be at work but still find time to chat. Few months later we started liking each other, he would constantly sext, ask me very personal questions and sex talk.

When we finally talked about it, he made it clear that he is NOT into a long distance reationship LDR. For me I would have liked to make it work. But ok, he didnt want it so it didnt happen.

 

We dropped it and decided to be just friends. He even then got into a relationship and had a gf for several months. However, he would never stop the sex talk with me. I made it clear more than once I didnt want to do that being just friends. He kept doing it which bothered me again and again. His response to me asking him to stop was that he does not want a LDR. Every time he started sex talk and I stopped him he would ask me to stop pushing him for a reationship (which for me was not the case since I simply do not do sex talk with just friends).

 

Last summer, I was actualy visiting his country for a month (athough its like a 6 hours flight from where I was visiting to his city). The first day I got there we phoned, while talking, out of the blue he said something like ''you should stop asking me for a reationship'' (or something like that) and I found that v unacceptabe since I neither said or implied anything of the sort, so I gave him a crude answer. He then got upset and disappeared. I sent him a couple of emails afterwards explaining why i was supset. Nothing. We didnt talk since.

 

OK I am over it, but from time to time I wonder what the H happened there.

 

Any insights?

[FitChick]

Wasn't it clear? He didn't like you as a person. Just wanted a free sex hotline.

[jolie_baby]

No, it wasn't for me, that's why I wanted someone else's opinion.

thanks for replying

[HeavenOrHell]

He sounds sleazy and sly; sex talk with you while he has a gf, Good job you never got into a r/ship with him or he'd have done the same to you.

He was only after one thing with you, so it's good he's gone now.

[soccerrprp]

One thing for certain, HE IS A JERK!

 

I thought what fitchick thought. He was getting off on the texting and sex-talk. It doesn't sound like he wanted anything else.

 

Good riddance.

[missunshine]

Wasn't it clear? He didn't like you as a person. Just wanted a free sex hotline.

I fully agree with FitChick. Dump him! And find someone that will actually be fond to have you and your attention.

[justwhoiam]

He obviously freaked out. It's unreal how some men can freak out... over nothing. How paranoid. Anyway, as other people said: you were only good to him for sexting and sex talk. Good example of natural selection. He left on his own. Don't write to him anymore.

[jolie_baby]

thanks all for your replies; as I said I am over it now but I needed some closure since his behavior never made sense to me, but I was looking at it in a way that still hoped that he was not a jerk. But it seems he was. I do not write him anymore nor have any news of him.