aliast Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Well my gf of 2 years randomly text me tonight. Up until now its been about getting my stuff or something about work since we both work together. Its been almost two months since the breakup. Well I got off work late and it was around midnight and i get a text saying you up? I just replied yes and she followed by saying nvm sorry. A mutual friend said she was at a local bar with her girl friends. I didnt reply back to that but I dont know how to take that bc it could be many of things. She was drunk texting me and her friends might have seen and told her that was a bad idea or something. Im still going to do me and carry on like i have been doing but what could this mean? She is still thinking about me? Booty call? Is this a slight progress of her realizing she made a mistake? she might realize the grass isnt greener on the other side idk. some insight would be nice.
swiftly333 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Who knows why our exes do some of the things they do. I doubt they even know most if the time. Or other times they are all just part of a diabolical plan to destroy us one tiny text at a time because they are evil. Either way, it's not something to over think. I just got: I just wanted you to know you're missed. Why the FCK would I want to know that!?! Unless its I miss you AND I love you AND I'm willing to do what it takes I don't give two sh#ts about how much or how little you think about/miss me. (Sorry I'm angry) So here's what I'll say: don't think to much into it. Anything you can think up about it is still only in your head and you have no way of knowing what's going on in hers. To try and figure it out is a waste of your time and energy. If she's thinking about it seriously she'll try again, but we should make nothing out if a nothing text. 1
Author aliast Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 Who knows why our exes do some of the things they do. I doubt they even know most if the time. Or other times they are all just part of a diabolical plan to destroy us one tiny text at a time because they are evil. Either way, it's not something to over think. I just got: I just wanted you to know you're missed. Why the FCK would I want to know that!?! Unless its I miss you AND I love you AND I'm willing to do what it takes I don't give two sh#ts about how much or how little you think about/miss me. (Sorry I'm angry) So here's what I'll say: don't think to much into it. Anything you can think up about it is still only in your head and you have no way of knowing what's going on in hers. To try and figure it out is a waste of your time and energy. If she's thinking about it seriously she'll try again, but we should make nothing out if a nothing text. I agree, I dont need to overthink it. I always go to a local pub after i get done with my bar with a couple female co workers had a couple beers and it got me. I guess it could be a slight progress that i could possibly be on her mind but i need to leave it at that unless she follows up on it. I almost am willing to bet i get a text in the morning apologizing for even texting me lol
crederer Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Yeah her friends probably told her to back off. A lot of people on here will say no contact and don't eat the bread crumbs. It's good advice if you can handle being rejected by her again. On the other had, I know of many people that have gotten back into relationships with ex's and are very happy. Seriously, I know A LOT! And if they all followed the exact advice often given here, none of them would be back together. I don't know what your problems were in the relationship either, so that plays a factor. Obviously there is significant chance of second rejection, but sometimes you gotta put yourself out on a limb. Question is, can you handle the consequences? 2
Author aliast Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 Yeah her friends probably told her to back off. A lot of people on here will say no contact and don't eat the bread crumbs. It's good advice if you can handle being rejected by her again. On the other had, I know of many people that have gotten back into relationships with ex's and are very happy. Seriously, I know A LOT! And if they all followed the exact advice often given here, none of them would be back together. I don't know what your problems were in the relationship either, so that plays a factor. Obviously there is significant chance of second rejection, but sometimes you gotta put yourself out on a limb. Question is, can you handle the consequences? We broke up because we grew distant. We both worked the same two jobs i helped raise her daughter since she was a month old and she is now two. The ex wanted more date nights which was hard however i did slack on that some. She just wasnt happy which i take some blame for i worked two jobs though and watched our daughter(not biologically mine but i am the only dad she knows) when i wasnt working. She never tried to communicate with me directly that there was a problem only subtle hints. The breakup was smooth no cussing or fighting. Everyone was shocked bc we seemed like a happy couple. I havent heard back from her since she said nvm sorry but i feel as if she will be in contact again. I am waiting for her to come out and be more direct about her motives before i risk anything. I do think i am on her mind and her friends kinda halted her from continuing to text. I didnt respond to the nvm sorry text. Is this a good thing that she did that or i just need to keep NC until i get a more direct response?
mbee Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Whoa there! Slow down with the assumptions. You are assuming BEST CASE scenario here. There are other scenarios that are just as likely. She got drunk, meant to text someone else but you instead, and so on. My ex sends me heartfelt texts talking about how amazing I am, but like the previous poster said, I could care less until he's willing to seriously apologize to me and try to change. Here's my thoughts about NC. If you want to get back with her, continue going NC. Her text didn't really need a reply. In the future if she texts you, feel free to respond very briefly and abruptly. Just remember NC is not about getting your ex back. It's about helping you move on. The more you move on, the better you'll feel and the more time and space you both will need anyway. Stop assuming all these things will happen because sadly sometimes it wont happen, and you'll be stuck checking your phone a couple of times a day looking for a text from her.
mbee Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Also given how you guys broke up, I think contacting her in the future is good but it's too early and you'll push her away. If she ever texts you saying "how are you?" or even something like "I'm thinking of you" just respond briefly. Good, yourself? That's nice to hear. Likewise. Keep it short and simple but that's only IF she talks to you again. Go back to where you were before the text. Try to not over think these things.
maseofspades007 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Mbee...i'm sorry mate but I'm goin to have to stop you there. It's uncouth to splay misleading thoughts all over a forum. You may mean well but its best to have sound advice. If you are wanting your ex back and the break-up is still fresh, you MUST give it time, with the no contact rule for atleast 30 days. NO text, No email, No writing, morse code, pigeon mail, smoke signals, hieroglyphics let on her Face-cave wall, or any form form of contact. If you have a child together, keep the contact as formally short and stout as possible. If you feel you need longer than 30 days, then take longer. The 30 days are so YOU can get your life back on track because you are a mess right now, the worlds crumbling around you and you feel like you'll never find any1 like them. Cry it out,open the flood gates. Its healthy to let out all your emotion. Dont worry, whether they are the dumpee or dumper, they are hurting too. You may think, "oh they dumped me, so they're not feeling as bad as me. Not true!..they dumped you (or vice versa) because they/you were unhappy in the relationship,may have felt unappreciated and the feelings have drifted away. and theres no point holding on to a relationship that is going in circles. So.... Take some time to evaluate what things were troubling the relationship, arguing and bickering, not spending time,name calling, no motive for your future. Focus on bettering yourself in the areas you were negative in. Dont focus on the negative, but rather focus on what you can do to make those negatives positive and looking at life with a positive attitude. The best thing to do if you really want your ex back is Keep your distance for at the bare minimum of 30days. Get a new haircut, get a tan, go shopping for new clothes, visit friends,socialize.. go on at least 2 dates with other people. seriously, you may say "I dont want to see other people, i want my ex back"..BUT...the healthiest thing for you right now is to get yourself feeling like you are desired by other males or females. This will boost your confidence, self image and make you feel positive. After you have pulled yourself together. Its time to ask yourself.."Do I want my Ex back?"...this is important..ask yourself, "why do i want her back? (e.g-Because she was caring and loving, i felt a really strong bond, and she gets my jokes)...evaluate what can get you back on track again, and how you think it can work again by correcting your behavior. Once you know what you want...and have decided. Send a text, per week. No come off as needy, simply send positive texts like. E.g "Hey jessie, just at a friends doing some baking...I remember when you taught me how to bake that banana cake, I must try that again soon, it was delicious. :-)"....(do not send negative texts like "I miss you jessie, you mean alot to me and without you, my life has been miserable"...This will make you look needy. Positive texts that make her think...
Author aliast Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 I have been NC for over a month besides about getting my belongings as we did live together. She contacted me last night and said how its been hard on her and its only easier since we dont see each other and she sees me out with girls smiling all the time and hasnt seen me that happy in months etc. Well she wants to meet me tonight at her new apt(i would meet elsewhere but she has her daughter) after her daughter goes to bed to talk about everything and catch up. She says its not to get back together which i have no intention of talking about that but i do think it is about making up somehow. I mean why else would an ex want to talk when she said it was over. But i am hoping all goes good tonight and i will keep you all posted!
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