RegularNiceGuy Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 So I am 1.5 yrs removed from the break-up, and am going on 6 months of complete No Contact. Lately I've been having a lot of memories, regrets, thinking about what I did wrong, how I couldve made things work...I think it started with a few dreams I had a couple weeks ago. So real and depressing because it wasnt true. My ex broke up with me in November 2011, and he stayed in contact every 3 months or so. I stopped replying eventually and let his calls or texts go with response. Then in November 2012 he sent me a text and said he quit his job and is moving to Fort Lauderdale to start a new life. He always loved Miami scene. We did speak, and of course I told him I didnt want him to go. He was kind of cold when he said to me that we would never ever ever get back together. Pretty hurtful. 5 minutes later he texted me and asked me to buy a condo in FL with him. He was prob drinking that night. The next day he said that he wasnt trying to hurt me and that he was just trying to say that at this point in his life he doesnt see ever getting back together with me romantically. Such a hurtful thing to say...after 8 years, to hear that. Crushing. Makes me wonder what I did that was so awful. Anyway, the last text he sent me he said that he wants to stay in touch as we embark on our lives, as he tries to find what will make him happy in life, and moving to Fort Lauderdale is a new beginning and hes nervous. He told me he does love me and wants me to be in his life. And that was it. I guess I secretly hoped that because of his abrupt behavior, and karma, that maybe he'd fall on his ass. But I havent heard from him since. I dont even necessarily want to get back together...I just want that redemption. That feeling of I was holding him back and making him unhappy. I dont know. Part of me wants to look at his facebook, but I know how much it would kill me to do so. It would just set me back. And social media just makes everything look great anyway. Plus, I think I saw a brief pic of him on a mutual friends fb and thats what prompted me to come here and get some support. I am a mess. Soothing words of comfort?
flowergirl13 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Im so sorry I dont think I am good with advice, esp given the fk up I did BUT, I really hope you learn to love yourself, embrace yourself and try see a journey in your own life instead of focusing on his.... And if you want to talk or spill your heart out I am here..
aisuru Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 No contact, no contact, no contact. You know this. I'm a bit concerned you haven't been able to put this to the side in 1.5 years. Have you considered seeing a therapist? Even in my roughest of breakups, I had partially moved on within 6 months of the BU, even if there'd been sporadic contact. I think it is time for you to call in reinforcements here. 2
prettycutesoul Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 oh I am sorry for your issue too! but like some of them said, No contact. No Contact. I feel like whenever you contact them, you will never get an answer that would make you happy. In fact it makes it worse... like him telling you you both will never ever get back together. How harsh! See what I mean by contacting them nothing good will come out of it? I mean it would be different if HE contacted you and said something nice like lets work it out. No, this one, you gotta let him go for good. Therapy would work? I don't personally know cause I haven't gotten therapy - BUT I will soon! You're a nice guy - as per your screen name You deserve better than someone who says stuff that would hurt you.
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