rainmayker Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I'm in NC right now but I still see her chasing a new guy, and it makes me absolutely furious! This is the same guy that she was friends with years ago, and she made some moves on him a few days before we broke up. So... how do I cope with / get over this whole jealousy thing? I hate this emotion!
OwlSoul Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 It is cheating, right? Males have strong territorial feeling. So no wonder that this is driving you crazy. I have a friend who was cheated on by his girlfriend. She crawled back to him saying she made a mistake and etc. But he never let her back, because she betrayed him. My previous ex chased a girl before we broke up. I found out about this only a month later. I was not over him, but this just killed all the trust and respect for the person. I guess my friend and I both understood that our exes left us thinking we are not good enough for them. This is already humilating/hostile and etc. Kind of kills all the desire. 1
BustedUpInside Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Oh jealousy. That emotion is the worst! I would rather be sad or depressed for like a week then jealous for even an hour. I know when I start to feel really jealous about my ex and this girl that I don't even know if he is interested in but I wonder and get jealous anyway, I like to play a little game with myself. I call it best case/worst case/most likely case. For you, this is how I would play: Best case scenario: she really is only doing anything to get a reaction from you. She only wants you and doesn't want anyone else and anytime she flirts with a man it is to get you to react. That is probably pretty unlikely worst case scenario: she is madly in love with the new guy and they somehow were carrying on a torrid love affair for years before you knew anything. They are getting married and planning on having a million babies. This is also very unlikely. Most likely scenario: She is still pretty heartbroken over your relationship and is probably listening to some friend's "advice" that the best way to get over an ex is to get with someone new right away. Believe me when I say that she probably doesn't have any real feelings for this guy and it is more an attempt to get you out of her brain. This is very likely So, you don't need to be jealous of yourself, right? I think it is more sad then anything. Her, trying to forget you through any means necessary and you trying to do the same. Cut both of you some slack and acknowledge that the biggest emotion going around is probably grief and regret. 1
aisuru Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 If you were truly no contact you wouldn't know she was chasing a guy. Accept it's over and move on... 2
SimonSerenade Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I wish I knew man..... I'm still half convinced she left me for another guy or because of another guy, either way the thought of her with someone else kills me, when I was with her she gave me her old blackberry and forget to delete her saved messages so when I was deletin stuff off it I came across a huge thread of messages between her and this guy a month before we got together sex texting, lasted way into over a month into our relationship, I hate blackberrys, didn't even have any dates or times inbetween so I don't know if she was cheating on me or not, I never got over that, I wish there was a handbook for jelousy because i really am a sensitive guy and other guys in contrast to me always seem the better at everything, it sucks. 1
Sososad Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 It's not nice to think of or know its going on. All I can say is how I delt with it was I had to just tell Myself shes not with me anymore she's made that decision And this is her choice and its not my business . Was easier said then done . But it did work any time the thought came in i tried to ignore and say well hope she's happy. It's sad but once they do move on its not our business wether we think there Messing up there life's or making mistakes .. It's just not our concern .. Look after yourself is the best in this instance . Defo no snooping .. It hurts way more !
1908 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Chase a new girl. Always thought this was the best course of action myself. It's worked for me like a charm in the past. But yeah jealously is a bitch. I have the sneaking suspicion my ex is seeing someone new. There's nothing that can be done about it though so why waste time stressing about a situation that's out of my hands?
Pisces13 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I'm in NC right now but I still see her chasing a new guy, and it makes me absolutely furious! This is the same guy that she was friends with years ago, and she made some moves on him a few days before we broke up. So... how do I cope with / get over this whole jealousy thing? I hate this emotion! It's hard man, I'm kind of experiencing this myself now... it's unexpectedly been the hardest emotion to deal with so far throughout this whole ordeal. In my case, it's a guy that she works with. I don't think she is looking to get involved with him (he doesn't look her type at all), but I know they text each other ALL the time (even when she is with me! we remain in LC), and I'm pretty sure they may have slept together at least once. My ex doesn't seem keen on getting involved with anyone else just yet, so I think they're just friends, but still, for some silly reason it is doing my head in. I think the only thing you can really do is try to go out and hook up with other girls yourself, try to enjoy your freedom, that is what she is doing after all. Make her jealous back 1
CelticGibson Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 The issue here is that you are allowing her to occupy your thoughts as to whether she is or isn't seeing anyone else. The truth is, it's not your concern or business what she does once the relationship with you has ended. You need to focus on this fact that once it's over, it's over unless SHE makes the effort to reconcile. As long as she has not made any moves in this direction, it's safe to say that it's over and what happens after this is not your concern. That only serves to keep you in pain and suffering needlessly. Stay No Contact and stop snooping or enquiring as to what she is doing and who she is doing it with... For your own sakes... 4
Author rainmayker Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 You guys are right, I really need to stop being so curious and I need to ask people to stop talking about her when I'm around. This is literally the best and only way to get over her... "Out of sight, out of mind", right? At the very least, I have three young girls who are interested in me at the moment, with the drawback that they are all a Long Distance apart from me. I still can't shake my ex from my head, but I think that this is a step in the right direction.
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