Cam116 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 So, I've been seeing someone for about 6 or 7 weeks now. We met on an online dating site, he was texting CONSTANTLY before our first date. Went out on first date and had a great time, contact diminished somewhat but he still initiated alot. At the time, he was travelling for work alot, so we had our second date about a week or so later. Went great, had a wonderful time. Had sex on our third date, I know I probably should have waited, but I really wanted to After that, we was away for over a week, and I was away the weekend he got back. So he invited me to his shore house for the weekend 2 weeks ago, it was just me and him and his parents. We had an AWESOME time.....and I haven't seen him since. He hasn't been initiating contact much, but always responds quickly to me. I started thinking that maybe I was showing enough interest in him, so I started sending more flirty texts and whatnot. Then I decided last week that I would call him up and ask HIM out on a date. Well, I called and he didn't answer. He texted back immediately, stating that he was at work and would be working late, then had to go to his brothers afterwards but would call me back later if it wasn't too late. No phone call. He texted me the next day, and said he didn't get home till midnight. Okay, whatever, no biggie. At this point, I sorta was just on my way out. Then, he proceeds to tell me that he decided that he wants me to take him horseback riding. Okay.....so he's planning on a future endeavor. I told him if he really wants to, that we'll set something up. Didn't hear from him for 2 days after that convo. Sent him a funny picture over the weekend, he responded, but nothing of substance. Nothing about "hey how's life going" etc. Last night he commented on something I put on Facebook. And that's been it. So, I like this guy. If we were to continue with something casual, I'm totally okay with that. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship right now. We have a good time together, I just can't figure out why he would throw out lines about future adventures if he has no interest. Obviously, my gut is saying to just keep quiet and slip away from this. But then I start to wonder if he thinks that I am not interested since I haven't tried to initiate a date (well, I had intentions of doing so, but he never called back). Should I try one last time? Or just walk away and see what happens?
curlygirl40 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 I personally wouldn't 'try' anything at this point. In that same position I would do one of two things. 1. Decide I want more than what he's offering so move along 2. Mirror his actions. My mirroring his actions I mean if he texts, text back. If he calls, answer. If he asks to see you (and you want to see him) then say yes. Simple. But make NO effort to initiate anything for a bit, to see what he does. By this approach you can usually tell how interested a guy is. It seems he's been pulling away. So if you contact him and he answers, you don't know if he's just being nice or if he really wants to talk to you. It feels much better to get a text or a call than to get a text or a call BACK. And I'm kind of calling your bluff a little on you not wanting something more than just casual with him. If that's all you wanted, you probably wouldn't be thinking about it and posting about it. I have no problem with casual relationships and if you've decided that's what you want, then that's o.k but if you do want more, then you definitely need to pull back. Good luck!
Author Cam116 Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 I know I kinda can't figure out if he's answering just to be nice, or if he actually wants to. Like you said, pulling back is probably the only way I will get an answer to that. He lives an hour and a half away, if he wanted to just fade away, it's not like I'm going to run into him anywhere. As far as the casual thing/relationship thing goes, I'm fine with casual dating, but I feel like if we kept things going it COULD lead to something more. Only if we're both on the same page though obviously. I get the feeling he's dating other girls, but I haven't stopped talking to other guys either (haven't been on any other dates, but I'm keeping my options open)
D-Lish Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 A guy that is GENUINELY interested will not leave you with any doubt regarding his intentions. It appears that you've been doing most of the chasing, and he's tossing you the odd bread crumb. Make no mistake, when a guy likes you- he'll treat you accordingly. My best rule for measuring whether or not someone is interested is this: If you have doubt regarding how he feels, it's probably because there is good reason to doubt how he feels.
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