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Why do people resent me for being in a happy relationship

Woggle

By Woggle
in General Relationship Discussion

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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When I tell people I am genuinely happy with my wife and I have a happy and drama free relationship they look at me like I am some sort of freak. I have a friend who is a good guy but he tells me I am setting myself up for heartbreak by just assuming that she will always be as loving and loyal as she is now. Some people I talk to just assume that we will end in divorce. Are people really this bitter and cynical these days?

carhill Established Member

carhill

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They lack happiness within and project that lack onto your relationship.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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When I tell people I am genuinely happy with my wife and I have a happy and drama free relationship they look at me like I am some sort of freak. I have a friend who is a good guy but he tells me I am setting myself up for heartbreak by just assuming that she will always be as loving and loyal as she is now. Some people I talk to just assume that we will end in divorce. Are people really this bitter and cynical these days?

 

unfortunately where there is happiness there are people not believing it can be real, today pretty much sucks.....in regards to divorce and splits break ups and separations....dont take notice of nay sayers......believe in what you have....as you do.......and enjoy it......dont second guess because somebody is negative....why shouldnt you have happiness is the question.....congratulations your post made me smile...and i wish you much more happiness in your marriage..:bunny::bunny: have some rabbits.:D.deb

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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Your choice in friends and whom you associate with is terrible. Time to hang around people who aren't Debbie downers.

 

I don't know a single person (except for my sister whom I haven't spoken to in years) who has ever said something like that to me.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Your choice in friends and whom you associate with is terrible. Time to hang around people who aren't Debbie downers.

 

I don't know a single person (except for my sister whom I haven't spoken to in years) who has ever said something like that to me.

 

 

isksnay on the ebbiedownersday......deb

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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isksnay on the ebbiedownersday......deb

 

:laugh:

 

Does negative Nancie's work better?

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Your choice in friends and whom you associate with is terrible. Time to hang around people who aren't Debbie downers.

 

I don't know a single person (except for my sister whom I haven't spoken to in years) who has ever said something like that to me.

 

My friends and I have a history that goes way back. I am not going to dump them just because life experiences have made them bitter. I just wish they would be happy for me now that I lucked out and managed to win the love lottery.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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My friends and I have a history that goes way back. I am not going to dump them just because life experiences have made them bitter. I just wish they would be happy for me now that I lucked out and managed to win the love lottery.

 

If you want to be around friends who are bad mouthing your wife then by all means continue to surround yourself with misery and hate.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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:laugh:

 

Does negative Nancie's work better?

 

 

lol:p

 

 

yep negative nancies.......debbbbbie not downer

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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If you want to be around friends who are bad mouthing your wife then by all means continue to surround yourself with misery and hate.

 

They are not bad mouthing her personally. Telling me to drop them is like telling somebody to drop their family because I consider them closer than that. Their experiences with relationships have just made them bitter. Before I used to take it to heart and let it make me doubt my marriage but now I try to bring them around to a more positive way of thinking. It's hard though to make a cynical person see a brighter view.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Part of loving your friends, those people who stood by you through some difficult times in your life, is to accept who they are. Sure, question perceived resentment... ask them 'why do you appear to resent our happiness?' and accept that dialogue as their truth. You can ask for what you want from your friends. No guarantees that they'll give you what you want, namely 'being happy for you', but you can ask. That gets the 'stuff' out there. Perhaps they'll come around. Perhaps not. Life goes on.

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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They are not bad mouthing her personally. Telling me to drop them is like telling somebody to drop their family because I consider them closer than that. Their experiences with relationships have just made them bitter. Before I used to take it to heart and let it make me doubt my marriage but now I try to bring them around to a more positive way of thinking. It's hard though to make a cynical person see a brighter view.

 

If they are saying that she is going to eventually leave you then yes they are bad mouthing her personally.

 

Friends are suppose to be happy for you and encourage you.

 

They aren't true friends.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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If they are saying that she is going to eventually leave you then yes they are bad mouthing her personally.

 

Friends are suppose to be happy for you and encourage you.

 

They aren't true friends.

 

They would say that no matter who she was and in their own twisted way they are looking out for me. I just want to know how I can help them see how twisted it is.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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They would say that no matter who she was and in their own twisted way they are looking out for me. I just want to know how I can help them see how twisted it is.

 

You really can't. We tried helping you see how twisted your views were for many years.

 

They will see how twisted it is when they decide to.....just like you did.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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It just doesn't feel right dropping people who once let you sleep on their couch because experiences have made them bitter. I would feel disloyal.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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It just doesn't feel right dropping people who once let you sleep on their couch because experiences have made them bitter. I would feel disloyal.

 

and what if their words are ever heard by your wife? What if their words were to eventually get to you and cause you to break down and divorce your wife? (It could happen)

 

Would it be worth it to you then?

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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If they are so important to be a part of your life then keep them in the part of your life that doesn't have to do with your wife. Hang out with them when she isn't around and don't discuss your love life with them.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I do hang out with them when she isn't around. I was at a friend's apartment and they started bashing women and saying that they almost never have unconditional love for a man and when it comes down to it they usually not loyal. I said to a friend that my wife and I have that kind of love and he said while she seems better than average one any woman can turn on you in a heart beat without warning. It's not personal against her.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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I do hang out with them when she isn't around. I was at a friend's apartment and they started bashing women and saying that they almost never have unconditional love for a man and when it comes down to it they usually not loyal. I said to a friend that my wife and I have that kind of love and he said while she seems better than average one any woman can turn on you in a heart beat without warning. It's not personal against her.

 

For your own sanity you shouldn't engage in any conversations with them that has to do with relationships. Stick to topics of music and anything else that doesn't have to do with relationships.

 

Whether you see it or not yes what he said was something that your wife would most likely be offended by.

 

If a bitter gal said that stuff to your wife I am sure that you would be offended and you would probably not want your wife to associate with anyone like that.

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dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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For your own sanity you shouldn't engage in any conversations with them that has to do with relationships. Stick to topics of music and anything else that doesn't have to do with relationships.

 

Whether you see it or not yes what he said was something that your wife would most likely be offended by.

 

If a bitter gal said that stuff to your wife I am sure that you would be offended and you would probably not want your wife to associate with anyone like that.

 

Omg,

 

You'd think that bitter-type female was totally corrupting your wife!

 

I don't think you'd tolerate that very well Woggle.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I admit I am a hypocrite but I would like to show my friends the light instead of dropping them.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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I admit I am a hypocrite but I would like to show my friends the light instead of dropping them.

 

 

I think you can show them, i dont think you are being a hypocrite......but.....when they put your relationship down or your wife....thats when you have to stand up and say hey ......dont knock it....you can show them but you stand up for what you believe in......its like this....

 

 

 

rocks look great surrounded by water ..........but add some wind and rain and time and you have erosion.........don't let your friends erode the rocks you have with the rain of doubt........rain and wind dont have any intentions of erosion....but....that is what happens....its a natural occurrence......as doubts are a natural occurrence if you are constantly buffeted with them,relationships need to be protected and defended because for todays climate for relationships....."heavy erosion ahead"...thats fact........

 

 

 

when together.....and while apart.....you can show your friends how strong that relationship is ...in you.......by letting them know..you are the rocks who cannot be moved.....or eroded.........deb

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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I admit I am a hypocrite but I would like to show my friends the light instead of dropping them.

 

Can't show them light if they aren't willing to open their eyes.

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happydate Established Member

happydate

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When I tell people I am genuinely happy with my wife and I have a happy and drama free relationship they look at me like I am some sort of freak. I have a friend who is a good guy but he tells me I am setting myself up for heartbreak by just assuming that she will always be as loving and loyal as she is now. Some people I talk to just assume that we will end in divorce. Are people really this bitter and cynical these days?

 

That means you are hanging around with the wrong type of friends. You need to understand that like attracts like and sometimes though, reality has a way of fulfilling the prophecy! Let me explain.

 

First of all, both of you have friends. Both of you are obviously vibrating at a higher frequency of love compared to your friends. Otherwise, they wouldn't be cynical and negative towards your loving relationship. As you spiritually grow, you will attract friends that are more positive and supportive like you and your wife and ultimately your existing friends will serve you no purpose at all other than your years of loyalty. You may have to get in a habit of dropping them as I would and to be only with more positive friends.

 

Here is a problem most couples run into. The husband keeps hanging around with his old buddies who are negative out of loyalty. The wife, however, hangs and meets new positive people and have no trouble dumping or seeing less positive friends even less. Your wife's spirituality grows to become more loving and more positive because she surrounds herself with more positive and loving friends. You, on the other hand, plateaued because you became laxed as believing that this romantic trouble free marriage would last. Except that now, she's on a different plane than you are. And that's when trouble begins when both of you aren't growing together equally. Then you'll begin to see the relationship isn't what it used to be. Then the wife meets a new guy from her new social friends who is more positive and vibrant than you. Guess what. It's only natural for her to replace you with him.

 

Anyhow, here's food for thought. :)

Edited by happydate
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happydate Established Member

happydate

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I do hang out with them when she isn't around. I was at a friend's apartment and they started bashing women and saying that they almost never have unconditional love for a man and when it comes down to it they usually not loyal. I said to a friend that my wife and I have that kind of love and he said while she seems better than average one any woman can turn on you in a heart beat without warning. It's not personal against her.

 

Woggle,

 

This goes to show that you wife is teaching you unconditional love. If you have unconditional love which I think you still do not fully understand (cause you think you can only get it externally), you will NOT tolerate this kind of attitude. In fact, I had walked away from years of friendship because they are simply unloving and I do love myself.

 

What if she had thought you unconditional love? What if she had fixed you?

Have you considered what will happen once a woman fixed a man? :laugh:

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