IS IT Better late Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 So I got lots of breadcrumbs over the past few weeks as my ex has been warming up to me. Expressing more and more interest in my life and flirting again. So like any weak fool who's still hung up on somebody I took them for genuine interest so I asked if she wanted to meet up. This all happened after a few weeks of NC. I went ahead and set a date with her for this week. Dumb ace texts me this am to cancel, the reason sounds legit but it doesn't matter. So I'm left feeling horrible again. Feel almost as shyty as when we first broke up. I'm at work can't concentrate, wanna scream, tired of this pain. Maybe this is the anger I need to stay NC and finally end this torture?
SimonSerenade Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 That's hard man but don't beat yourself up about it, in your shoes I would of fine the exact same thing if my ex was initiating an interest in me again, I know it's going to break you apart now thinking she's jut been leading you on but you don't know, act natural, be casual and let her do the chasing now, be proud though and hold your head up high, you love her and followed your heart, I guarantee you would of regretted it had you not made those plans with her even if It did end up in a bad way in the end, go no contact if you really must but if her reason really was genuine then see wait and see it she asks you for another date, maybe she's scared, she hurt you, she might be worried about what you'd think of her seeing her now, be the nice guy and you'll figure it out in the end.
StraylightRun24 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I'm really sorry to hear that IS IT Better late. While it doesn't surprise me in the least bit that she cancelled on you I was still hoping for the best. I agree with Simon above. You love her so you followed your heart and it unfortunately didn't pan out exactly the way you envisioned it, but at least you can say to yourself that you tried one last time. You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. We all do "irrational" things when it comes to the person we care deeply for. No regrets! I hope this will help you maintain your NC from this point forward. She will definitely be throwing you some more breadcrumbs....
BustedUpInside Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Don't beat yourself up. It is really hard to go against human nature. It is completely normal to think NC is not right in your "special" circumstances. It is because it is counter intuitive. You think that if you spend time with her again that she will realize how great you are and how much she wants to be in the relationship still, but what you have to remember is that she was with you all the time before and still wanted to break up. No contact will make her miss you, and maybe she will want you back, but that is really not the point. It is about not being jerked around. You get control back over your emotions and decisions. You become the focus of your own life so that you aren't tied to another person and only reacting to whatever they are doing. You will be proactive and confident. Trust me! No contact sucks so bad for the first couple of weeks but like beating any addiction you will eventually feel so much better that it will be hard for you to remember how you ever justified not going NC from the beginning.
Author IS IT Better late Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 Thanks guys! I just need the support, many ppl on this site warned me that this would happen. And I refuse to listen b/c my heart says keep the course and play it cool and she may come back. I just dont get it! What does she want from me? She's all nice, friendly and flirty, seems to be sincere and then pulls this nonsense. How does this benefit her? Makes her feel good? Really? This always confuses me b/c If I don't want to be with someone I could care less about what happens after I've left. What are her motives? Does it really feel that good to know that somebody still cares about you. So what!! If you're not interested in that person anymore why would give a shyt? This girl has ruined my day as she has ruined many days before. Sorry just a lot of venom coming out of me today!
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Friend Zone!!! And she is only ruining your days because you let her. Block, block, block...
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 You two are broken up and she doesn't want to come back. HOWEVER! She still wants someone to pine over her, to make her feel special and wanted until someone else comes along and you're done like yesterdays news. So, she's biding time until the next guy comes into her life, then she kicks you to the curb.
LadyAnglerTx Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I have been going nuts today wanting to contact my ex. I am off work this week so all this free time is pure torture. I can't eat, can't focus, could barely shop at the grocery store because I couldn't think of what I needed. Can't stomach food so I just bought some fruit. My ex asked me to dinner twice in the last couple of months. Each time I could read that he was mad at me for breaking up with him THREE YEARS AGO. We reached out again to each other thru email then he invited me to dinner twice. Second dinner was great (two weeks ago) - we even made out and I thought we had a chance at reconciling. Then I heard nothing from him. I reached out a couple of times via text but he was cold. Then several days later I took a chance and texted him to ask him out over the weekend saying since he asked me out the last two times I wanted to ask him out to reciprocate. He shot me down saying "Can't this weekend, let's get together soon"..... I knew he was doing this to get back at me for breaking up with him years ago. He saw his chance and went for it. So what was the purpose of asking me to dinner then back to his house then making out with me as I was trying to leave? He says "Was hoping something was still there, I think too much was done and said over the years". WOW - painful. I got my hopes up once again and got shot down in flames. So now that I am rejected and he doesn't want me - I've become Glen Close from Fatal Attraction. Why do we get so obssessed when we can't have them back? I drove by his house twice today (while he was at work). Now I can't do anything but think of him and how I can get him back. Reading your post helped me from texting him a minute ago so thanks!
siankat Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Are you sure she couldn't meet you. For that reason she said? 1
CelticGibson Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 When she cancelled, was her excuse legit? More importantly, did she try to reschedule and make it an actual date and not a "hanging out" thing? I agree that this looks like "FriendZone" and you don't want to go there. Not until you are indifferent to her. Since you are not and this brief LC has set you back as bad as it has, you really need to cut her off.
Author IS IT Better late Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 Celtic good info! We made our plans mid last week, texted me this AM saying she forgot she has a graduation dinner to attend for one of her friends on that night. She's gonna check her schedule and get back to me with another night. Sure she will... I have no way of knowing if its legit. But nothing I can do now but leave her alone see what happens. Her habits of contacting me are small talk texts to start and then when the convo opens up she'll flirt and go as far as telling me she would like to see me. She had similar habits when we dated, she would give me hints and expect me to put the puzzle together and ask when she was free to hangout. She'll never come straight out and say are you free Saturday? So that's why it's been so tough to identify breadcrumbs or legit interest. Feel like I've been through an emotional war for 3-months. Up & Down but still end up at the same spot.
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