Anxiety surrounding my relationship

[fray5]

Quick question, can you get off that drug without compromising your health in other ways?

 

I read ja123's posts, all great advice. Sal's as well, but everything he writes is awesome. I love the journal idea too. You are SO self aware; this is going to help you. If you can allow others (mainly your GF) into those thought processes, even better, provided it doesn't alarm her. Writing here has actually helped me too. And know this, some stranger on the internet thought of you while in her doctor's office last week! weird, huh?

 

Haha it's so nice to have this support. My mind is so crazy right now. I can't say how much it means to have some random stranger I've never met think of me! Haha there's good people out there!

 

The medicine I was off of for a about a week and a half bc my doc said to give it a break of 2 weeks and see if I feel better. However, in about that week and a half things got worse it seemed, not sure if it was withdrawals or what. But at that time before the 2 weeks was up they put me on an antidepressant where I had panic attacks after 4 doses. So I was off that for a week or so and still off the cabergoline. I started feeling a little better but still down and then I was put on cymbalta. I started up the cabergoline again because it helped with sexual dysfunction. My opinion at this point is I never had enough time off anything. I've read online where other people, it took them months to feel normal after taking cabergoline. All this confusion adds to the anxiety but it gives me hope that my girlfriend isn't the problem

[MidwestUSA]

Haha it's so nice to have this support. My mind is so crazy right now. I can't say how much it means to have some random stranger I've never met think of me! Haha there's good people out there!

 

The medicine I was off of for a about a week and a half bc my doc said to give it a break of 2 weeks and see if I feel better. However, in about that week and a half things got worse it seemed, not sure if it was withdrawals or what. But at that time before the 2 weeks was up they put me on an antidepressant where I had panic attacks after 4 doses. So I was off that for a week or so and still off the cabergoline. I started feeling a little better but still down and then I was put on cymbalta. I started up the cabergoline again because it helped with sexual dysfunction. My opinion at this point is I never had enough time off anything. I've read online where other people, it took them months to feel normal after taking cabergoline. All this confusion adds to the anxiety but it gives me hope that my girlfriend isn't the problem

Yea, it's not your girlfriend. You're right, you haven't been off everything at the same time long enough to know if clearing it all out of your system at the same time will help. Unfortunately, the Cymbalta has it's own sexual side effects (and not positive ones) so you've got one drug working to correct a side effect of another! I sure wish you had tolerated the Wellbutrin; perhaps it acted in conjunction with the cabergoline (what was still floating around in your system) to cause exaggerated side effects (the panic?) because Wellbutrin also works by affecting dopamine. That's what makes it a class of it's own, as opposed to Cymbalta, Prozac, Zoloft - all of the others that primarily affect serotonin and norepinephrine.

 

If you do mange to get off everything, remember to eat healthy, maybe get some multivitamins in you, a good B complex, and some sun and exercise. That will help clear your system more quickly.

 

 

I'm really busy today (yes, I check in here while I'm working!). I hope you have a great weekend and the answers to some of you problems start to become clear. I think you have a really good start on it tho!

[SmilesnFrowns]

Wow, that's sad about that guy and even sadder that I kind of sound like him.

 

The thoughts with my ex are weird. It's like her name is always on my mind. It wasn't near as bad in the beginning of my relationship, but I did always worry that maybe I was moving too fast. I'll get these thoughts of ending it with my current gf and that'll fix everything, that she's just not for me. BUT when I see her I just can't imagine doing it. She's so wonderful. I never get the urge to contact my ex. However, when I think real hard about it, I kind of want to contact her and ask what the heck has happened to me and tell her to leave me alone. I initiated our breakup too bc she became so distant. I thought I had accepted the breakup, but is it possible I haven't? I thought I allowed myself time to be miserable, but do I need to find doing that again?

 

Another thing is it's hard to have fun. I feel my mind consumed with analyzing the relationship, and even now it's hard to focus with her unless we're being intimate.

 

I hope to hear back from you soon! Sorry I didn't get to reply yesterday. I was pretty busy with family.

 

 

Hey there! Hope things have worked out. Sorry about the silence, took some time out to put out a few fires.

 

It's hard to tone down on the obsessive thinking when one tends to over think things (I know all about it), but in my experience, in situations like this, the more dynamic and organic one is about things, the better. I'd just hate for your current girlfriend to end up being just a rebound.

 

You don't need to contact your ex. Take time to accept things, and see the hurt as a way for you to grow emotionally. It's a rite of passage. I know Im getting all philosophical and pragmatic, but its true.

 

Hope that your lady will see that you're really trying, and will patiently await your recovery.

[MidwestUSA]

Bump! I don't want to lose this thread, and hope all is going well! Greetings from the Midwest.

[Delilah1623]

Sorry to hear you're having these problems. I too was in a relationship that left me severely damaged emotionally and have had tons of anxiety in all my relationships since. I don't have any advice over what was already been said but good luck because I am in the same boat. I hope it works out for you.

[fray5]

Hey guys, sorry for the layoff. I've been attempting to cleanse myself! Haha. Here's an update and I hope this thread can help others who may experience stress and anxiety especially in relatinships.

 

I'm almost at the 2 week mark of being off all medicine. I've definitely improved, but there are still some anxious/ocd thoughts but I think the meds especially the dopamine drug I've been on for 4 months will take around a month or so to completely clear out of my system. I've had some really awesome days tho and the bad ones are less. To prove my anxious OCD type thoughts are just that, get this: I finally stopped worrying so much about the rebound and ex issue and feel that is not a problem at all, but I started to worry about something else... I started to think, "holy crap, I must be gay if I have all this anxiety in my relationship"- lol I know this sounds goofy but once I got that small thought I began to ruminate on it and it has started a cycle in my brain where when I'm with her I've almost panicked. While this causes me distress I understand that its irrational and OCD so hopefully it'll leave me like thoughts of the ex have. I think all of this is still amplified from the meds being in me tho.

 

I can say that stress or big decisions probably are also contributing to all this. I'm looking to buy a house as I still live with my parents whom annoy the crap outta me. I've fallen behind at work and on top of that the talk of marriage and I'm also realizing this is the girl I might be with forever. I try to treat her well and give a lot of my time to being around her which help and also makes things harder sometimes as I need time to learn to be alone to unwind. Its like the anxiety switches roles to bc when my gf doesn't text me every now and then I worry I've done something wrong or she's losing interest. I just put way too much thought into it which is prob from low self esteem and the anxiety.

 

That's the latest on the situation. I think I'm improving and one of the best things for me has been praying and picking my bible up at night before bed. Hope to hear back from you all and everything has been going ok. Thanks again for sticking with me through this and helping.

 

How have things been your way Midwest?!

[MidwestUSA]

I only have enough time to say I'm happy to hear from you; I was worried! I do my posting in the mornings, so I'll be back. Glad to hear about those awesome days, obsess about them when you feel the need to overthink things, LOL!

[fray5]

I only have enough time to say I'm happy to hear from you; I was worried! I do my posting in the mornings, so I'll be back. Glad to hear about those awesome days, obsess about them when you feel the need to overthink things, LOL!

 

Good to hear from you too! I'm wondering how long it'll take to get this dopamine drug out of me. I sometimes wonder if I'm ADD or need an anxiety med. the more I think the more I see I'll prob need something as anxiety has been present most of my life.

[MidwestUSA]

Good to hear from you too! I'm wondering how long it'll take to get this dopamine drug out of me. I sometimes wonder if I'm ADD or need an anxiety med. the more I think the more I see I'll prob need something as anxiety has been present most of my life.

Hey there! Sorry I dropped off; was dealing with a few issues of my own. Gotta tell you I had two days of, well, not quite panic, but just anxiety, that crawling out of my skin type of thing. Not completely sure of it's origin, but it's a reminder that it's there and can rear up at any time. And I think that's important for you as well. To be able to recognize the feelings coming on and meet them head on. Sometimes I just have to give in and tell myself, okay, I'm gonna feel like this but it will pass (because it always has). You have to believe that, and rely on it. Only recently did I learn to just let my husband in on it, and tell him there's no explanation, it's not him, there's not much he can do to help but carry on as normal (don't baby me, well not TOO much anyway).

 

So, long story short, have been married a month, and three weeks ago, hubbie broke his sternum, just four days away from being eligible for medical insurance with his job. Not the WORST thing that could happen, just a reminder that it's ALWAYS something! And you know this too. That the thing that's dominating your thoughts can be easily replaced by something bigger and better (not!) tomorrow. Ever wonder why we don't obsess about happy things? Why we don't run around all manic because all we can think of is something awesome that happened to us? Yea, me too.

 

 

Back to you, tho. You're going thru a major period of transition in your life. Have you seen the list of the biggest stressors you can have in life? A death, marriage, having a baby, job change, buying a home, etc.? You're going thru more than one. I did the same eight years ago. Told myself I was just gonna be stressed, so why not lay it on thick! I think you're right about having some degree of underlying axiety, depression, ADD, whatever, and if you've been relying on a GP to treat you, it might be worth the time to see a good psychiatrist. He would also have some input regarding clearing the effects of the drugs you were on out of your system. In addition to a social support system, it would be good to have him (or her) on board as well.

 

 

I'm glad you found that picking up your bible has helped; not something I recommended just because I don't know the religious beliefs (or nonbeliefs) of strangers on the net. But it's in line with going back to something, anything, that has helped you before. That was funny, obsessing about maybe being gay because of your relationship anxiety! Just goes to show what ridiculous directions our brains can take us in! But at least you replaced obsessive thoughts of your ex . If you want to take it a step farther, convince yourself you're like Chaz Bono or something, LOL!

 

 

How is your GF coping? How much of your innermost thoughts and feelings have you let her in on? Is she still supportive? I hope so!

 

Anyway, I still believe you have good insight as to what's going on with you - obsessive thoughts and anxiety/depression all being intricately related. Pick your battles wisely (pick the one issue of the day that you can most easily deal with and will give you the most satisfaction), delegate - don't face anything alone if you don't have to. But, if you need your down time alone, don't hesitate to ask for or insist on it! Eat healthy, get out in the sun, blah, blah, I'm sounding like a mother. And don't scratch! It will leave scars! (Haha, that was for me, I have poison sumac up both arms and in one armpit. Open, oozing blisters. Am thinking a scrip for hydroxizine would calm the itching and do a number on my anxiety too).

 

 

 

 

 

Am glad you are having more awesome days! Do you feel that the clearing of drugs for your system is coming along? Have a great weekend and check in soon. (You can PM me if you like, I'm always afraid I'm not going to be able to page back and find this thread). Happy thoughts.

[fray5]

So I'm not sure who all will remember this thread and my situation but I've come to post an update. Sorry for the delay but there has been some major things occurring in my life and your all's help in this thread have been so helpful and I want to say thanks again whether you continue to follow or not.

 

I'm doing much better! My girlfriend and I are still together and things are stronger than before. I've been through many medications and seen so many doctors and still honestly not sure what's going on but I can say a few things. A lot of my anxiety problems and obsessing are from insecurity issues of my own. I'm on a mood stabilizer called Lamactil and I think that is helping, but what has been most beneficial is counseling. The move of marriage is still on my mind and my girlfriend has been great at communicating about it and not pressuring me as much. I've taken more time to myself and found that helps the relationship a lot.

 

There is something new though and that is she told me about her past relationship which I had a feeling was abusive. Our sex life was good but I always could feel something holding her back and she'd not let me do certain things to her. I asked why and she told me her ex told her that she was loose and beat up down there. He also accused her of not being a virgin when he did in fact take hers. He was the bad boy and she said she went for him bc she was always the good girl and thought it'd be cool. He was a good looking guy and I checked him out on Facebook- tattoos above his crotch and a real "pretty boy" I guess. She said at the time she thought his "I dont care" attitude was cool. This stuff made me insecure to a degree and I asked about how our sex life was. She said nothing compares. I then asked if she ever even had an orgasm with someone that treated her so badly and she said no. I asked if she had with me and she said several times.

 

I feel so stupid for asking those questions and I even asked if he was any good to which she said that was a ridiculous question. I'm letting my anxiety get the best of me and making this guy to be some sexual god that pleasured her nonstop bc they were together 2 years.

 

Can someone tell me if these thoughts are indeed ridiculous or should I worry he may have been better than me. She's made comments that she loves when I make love to her.