swiftly333 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 (edited) I'm ending my night, just got home from mother's day festivities. I had a great day. But I'm beat. I'm no longer in the having of keeping my phone on and handy, and I wouldn't have even looked at my phone if my friend hadn't asked me to call to make sure I got home safely. But I did. I looked at my phone and.... And low an behold I see what I never thought I'd ever see again: a new text.message from my ex. WHAT? Wait. I didn't text him did I? No. I didn't call him, did I? No. So why is he texting me? Since the break up he only ever responded. Never initiated. So I take a deep breath. Maybe he's just being kind and thoughtful and wishing me well on mother's day. I lost my mom a few years ago to terrible circumstances and this particular day is hard for me, me and he must know that. What a kind friend. No. So I take a deep breath. I open the message last night I had a dream we were kissing. I don't know what to make of it. Goodnight. WTF I was finally realizing and accepting that he didn't want to be with me. That despite my good intentions, my hard work, my patience, caring, understanding, and pressure free love weren't enough to bring him back. I was struggling, but I was getting there. I had successfully gone 1 week no contact and was determined to go 2 without a doubt. I was finally going to put myself first and drop it. But then he drops the bomb on me. ON THIS DAY. Really? You couldn't wait for normal Tuesday? It had to be heartbreaking-mother's-day? I'm literally feeling torn inside. For weeks that was all I wanted. What I wouldn't have given to hear something like that. What I wouldn't have given to hear anything from him!? I want to be strong enough to ignore. But this was all I wanted, was some inclination of real hope that wasn't just made up in my own head. But now....I don't know. I want so bad to be strong enough to ignore. But I'm not sure if I can/will/really want to. After all these weeks of working at it an working at it working at.it. And never getting the results I wanted. I finally was getting exhausted and sick.of it. I'm going to sleep on it.... or try to sleep at rather. Goodnight. Edited May 13, 2013 by swiftly333
crederer Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 How long ago did you break up? Why is this bothering you so much? I'm assuming he dumped you?
Pisces13 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Hmm, was a bit of a dick move, what do you have to gain by knowing that? I think he is just mind gaming you, don't read too much in to it.
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Ignore, delete, block. Next time he texts you (You could even do it now, it wouldn't hurt) respond with the following: Text-Blocker activated. Your message was not delivered. That should shut him up. Jerk.
Toddbt12y1 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 This is why numbers are blocked during NC as well as many other avenues. Least an ex should contact again, and downspirals your progression and hope peaks for a fall. His text is vague. He didn't even give enough to go on....just enough to draw your attention, since he knows you love him. I don't want to comment further without looking back at your history, as to why you two ended. I will do just that, then finish my opinion of this...
Leigh 87 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 lol Tara.. He is probably not meaning you any harm. He does not WANT to inflict pain on you:mad: He is just not self aware and well... clever enough to realise that, while his dream has probably not made him realise that he is crazy in love with you and needs to be with you; it has made him have a weak moment when he misses your company and unconditional love. Missing you is very well - I am sure he did. Most guys genuinely like and miss the girls they spend a months or years with. He is just feeding you bread crumbs, basically. Dreaming about kissing you? I am sure my ex dreams about me all the time. He still loves me like he always did actually, and thinks of me often. Have you told your ex that? Have you had that talk with him, where you told him to stop contacting you UNLESS he wants you back and is 100%sure about it? I had to tell this to my ex, as he did not stop loving me when he left me, and wanted to still hang out and not move on; he wanted to keep me around because he did not want to move on, and wanted to hang on to a chance to see if I changed. In the end, he respected my wishes to leave me be. We will see how he goes. I HOPE he does not bloody text me just to say " hey Leigh 87, I had a dream about you, well how about that!" .................................. Ignore him. His text is NOT indicative of him wanting you back. At all. If he did, he would make it known, very clearly.
Treasa Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your mom, and I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Secondly, I highly suspect he knows you want him back (in fact, I am positive), and I think he's trying to jerk your strings around. He didn't write that he misses you and wants to be with you. He wrote that he had a dream about you kissing, knowing it would **** you up in the head, and then just wrote, "Goodnight." He didn't ask for a reply, and therefore he shouldn't get one. Block his ass. 1
Author swiftly333 Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 Background for those who don't already know: I broke up with him because we got into a stupid fight, but basically we were both super stressed and on edge due to our own lives and largely impacted by me stopping antidepressants because they were doing weird things to me,and I was especially moody and sensitive. He was being insensitive and having s childish argument with me after I already told him this and I blew up. I immediately regretted it. But I was angry. He called me that day to work things out, but I waited several days to calm down, but by then it was too late. He wouldn't return my calls or texts (2 sms and 2 phone calls over 1 month) so I just stopped by after work one day, told him I a as sorry and I made a mistake and gave him a letter... The next few days we correspond through email. He asking me for all kinds of explanations. And I explained as much as I could. He ended it with I don't know, I'm really reluctant and very hurt still. I asked if we could meet and he said he wasn't ready, and well take "baby steps." B$ll sh&t! So for the last month it's been me sending him occasional texts, and calling him. He'll always respond quickly. Act friendly. But never initiate. He'd flirt with me, then when we'd end the conversation that would be it. He would say basically it's up to me if I want to call him and keep talking.... I confronted him.about it and got no explanation. I thought that was BS so I stopped. He seemed uninterested and I was sure he was just stringing me along to torture me. (More details in my other posts...) So, yes, he knows I still love him and wanted to get back together. And I dumped him, but I became the one that was rejected and he basically had all the power.... I want to respond, but not in a way that feeds his ego. I do still love him. But...... He has a lot of nerve saying that. Like others pointed out; It's not I love you and I want to try. It's enough to make a desperate girl think that's what he's saying, but I'm.smart enough to realize it's not. I'st's a stupid one liner to scramble my brains when I was just stating to get my head on right. WTF was he thinking this would accomplish? This guy is stupid and not genuine. It seems like a game to me.
Minneloa Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Yes, he is treating it like a game. Don't respond. Enough is enough! You deserve better.
Author swiftly333 Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 I've been thinking about it.... I think.I'm going ton respond with something along the lines of: Dreams are interesting, but unless you are making something of it then I don't need to know..... I guess this is the guy who only likes what he can't have....
Minneloa Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I've been thinking about it.... I think.I'm going ton respond with something along the lines of: Dreams are interesting, but unless you are making something of it then I don't need to know..... I guess this is the guy who only likes what he can't have.... Hi Swiftly, Two questions, offered as food for thought in your process: What is your purpose in sending that response? (sincere question; not meant as snark) How does that response differ from silence? M. 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I've been thinking about it.... I think.I'm going ton respond with something along the lines of: Dreams are interesting, but unless you are making something of it then I don't need to know..... I guess this is the guy who only likes what he can't have.... DO NOT respond. The only motive he had in sending you that message was to evince a reaction. Even if you responded with "Get lost I'm not interested!" It would still mean there was enough interest there to stimulate a response!! Do not give him the satisfaction of even guessing you may have received it..! Leave it be, remain silent and let him keep wondering.... And if he DOES text again - reply with the text-blocker message I gave you, above....... 1
Author swiftly333 Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 What good does ignoring him do? I do still love the guy, part of me wants to.work this out. I just don't like how hard he's making this....
youngnlove89 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 What good does ignoring him do? I do still love the guy, part of me wants to.work this out. I just don't like how hard he's making this.... Contact him then. It's what you will do anyways. Sometimes you just have to go through it to realize who is right...
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 What good does ignoring him do? This is the good it does..... I'm no longer in the having of keeping my phone on and handy, and I wouldn't have even looked at my phone if my friend hadn't asked me to call to make sure I got home safely... I was finally realizing and accepting that he didn't want to be with me. That despite my good intentions, my hard work, my patience, caring, understanding, and pressure free love weren't enough to bring him back. I was struggling, but I was getting there. I had successfully gone 1 week no contact and was determined to go 2 without a doubt. I was finally going to put myself first and drop it. I want so bad to be strong enough to ignore.....After all these weeks of working at it an working at it working at.it. And never getting the results I wanted. I finally was getting exhausted and sick.of it. if you contact him now you will simply be ripping your own heart to shreds, again and again, and again. But fine - if you don't think it would be any problem for you, and you'd be successful in your endeavours, go ahead. Give it a whirl. I personally think you'd cause yourself marginally less pain nasal-flossing with razor wire, but hey.... 1
wondering11 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Ignore, delete, block. Next time he texts you (You could even do it now, it wouldn't hurt) respond with the following: Text-Blocker activated. Your message was not delivered. That should shut him up. Jerk. I've done this before - fake texted a block to get an annoying ex to stop writing!
confused00 Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 What good does ignoring him do? I do still love the guy, part of me wants to.work this out. I just don't like how hard he's making this.... Please read my thread enough said
emmalynro Posted May 31, 2013 Posted May 31, 2013 I would reply "Well, was it a good dream or a bad dream?" If you want to talk to him, talk to him. While that's quite a bomb to stop on you, ignoring it doesn't somehow make you a better person. You have every right to say "That's a ****ty thing to say to someone" or something like that. Is he jerking you around? Maybe, but he may also have had a dream about kissig you and not known what to make of it, like he said. If you want to use that as a springboard for conversation I think you should.
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