My husband wants to leave me, I love him and want him to stay.

[fallnangel72]

My husband and I have been married for 4 years as of may 1st this year. He was military, got out in 11' after 4 years. He got back from his last deployment at the end of 10' and things just haven't been the same. He claims he never had ptsd, but as soon as he got back he was the most hateful soulless person ever. We automatically started fighting and we starting going to marriage counseling 2 months after he got back from deployment. We went for 12 weeks in which all he could say was it was all me and he hadn't changed and I needed to fix me and he did nothing wrong. I admit im not perfect, I deal with depression and had horrible anger issues, the anger which has gotten better while the depression has gotten worse. My husband is the only one who has worked our entire marriage so he throws that in my face a lot but we just have never been able to afford daycare and all our family lives far away. Anyways since the military he has become this man who makes me feel like I cant open my mouth without asking him first. To him I cant do anything right. Anyways the past couple of months have been the worst. We have had two major fights in the past 2 months. The first of which we fought about me not having a job ofcourse and not doing the things he asked of me. So since Ive been looking for a job, keeping the house spotless, holding my tongue on any comment, doing everything I can while he does what he wants. Let me throw in here he works nights and doesn't come home til 7'ish in the am. only has one day off a week which he spends with his buddies not me or our son, and we don't have sex but maybe once a month. And that's if I beg for it. He has not nor ever would hit me or cheat on me, but he seems like he just doesn't care about anyone. Including his son. Just cares about his job, friends and toys. The most recent fight we have had started 3 days ago. It started over something super small, I made a decision to do something he said he wasn't doing it, the something wasn't that big of a deal, I started crying and arguing about him never doing anything with me and he started saying how he makes the decisions in this marriage because he makes the money and pays the bill and if I want to do anything he gets final say. He tells me he is not taking care of me anymore, he is going to stop paying the bills and talking to me. So this all happened in the car in a matter of 10 minutes. As soon as we got home he wouldn't say a word to me, got ready and left for work and didn't get home til 10'ish the next am and went straight to sleep on the couch. When I got up I tried to wake him up to get in bed and he told me he didn't want to talk that he was leaving and didn't want to look at me anymore covered up his face and went back to bed. Later that afternoon, when he woke up I cried to him and begged him to talk to me, he told me there was nothing left to say, he said its pretty clear what I want and that's that. So I left and went to my parents. They offered to help move my stuff into a storage unit from our home and move into their spare bedroom with my son. So I had to think well for my best interest if he wanted a divorce it would be better for me to file first so I have any chance of getting the things I need from him for our son. But I don't want to file because I want to fix us, I didn't get married to get divorced I made that very clear to him when we decided to get married, I was never going to divorce him. I love him and was us both to get help. After that night I spent at my parents I decided to go back home, I know he was going to be upset because he didn't want me there but, our son needed to be comfortable through all this and I didn't want to take that from him just yet. So that leaves us at today, he was here all day after work and he didn't say two words to me but I did notice he took his wedding ring off, I asked him why, that we hadn't decided anything yet and that makes it look like he is available to any other woman out there and its not fair to me. He didn't say anything but a little while ago I noticed it was on his key chain. Idk what that means but Im trying to hold on to the little hope I have left. He just left for work an hour ago and I am scared that he is going to come home tomorrow and give me divorce papers. We have been through so much and I have cried and begged and told him im willing to do whatever he wants to keep us together, he wont talk to me to tell me what he is thinking or where his head is at. For all I know he is playing head games and just trying to scare me into doing what he wants. I know this all makes me sound desperate but I want to help him get back to being that man that fell in love with me and I want to show him I am changing and trying to help myself to become a better person. I am also getting help for my depression. I need to know what I can do to get him to stay and keep fighting with me. I need help

[Mr. Lucky]

My husband and I have been married for 4 years as of may 1st this year. He was military, got out in 11' after 4 years. He got back from his last deployment at the end of 10' and things just haven't been the same. He claims he never had ptsd, but as soon as he got back he was the most hateful soulless person ever.

 

We automatically started fighting and we starting going to marriage counseling 2 months after he got back from deployment. We went for 12 weeks in which all he could say was it was all me and he hadn't changed and I needed to fix me and he did nothing wrong. I admit im not perfect, I deal with depression and had horrible anger issues, the anger which has gotten better while the depression has gotten worse.

 

My husband is the only one who has worked our entire marriage so he throws that in my face a lot but we just have never been able to afford daycare and all our family lives far away. Anyways since the military he has become this man who makes me feel like I cant open my mouth without asking him first. To him I cant do anything right. Anyways the past couple of months have been the worst.

 

We have had two major fights in the past 2 months. The first of which we fought about me not having a job ofcourse and not doing the things he asked of me. So since Ive been looking for a job, keeping the house spotless, holding my tongue on any comment, doing everything I can while he does what he wants. Let me throw in here he works nights and doesn't come home til 7'ish in the am. only has one day off a week which he spends with his buddies not me or our son, and we don't have sex but maybe once a month. And that's if I beg for it.

 

He has not nor ever would hit me or cheat on me, but he seems like he just doesn't care about anyone. Including his son. Just cares about his job, friends and toys. The most recent fight we have had started 3 days ago. It started over something super small, I made a decision to do something he said he wasn't doing it, the something wasn't that big of a deal, I started crying and arguing about him never doing anything with me and he started saying how he makes the decisions in this marriage because he makes the money and pays the bill and if I want to do anything he gets final say. He tells me he is not taking care of me anymore, he is going to stop paying the bills and talking to me. So this all happened in the car in a matter of 10 minutes. As soon as we got home he wouldn't say a word to me, got ready and left for work and didn't get home til 10'ish the next am and went straight to sleep on the couch.

 

When I got up I tried to wake him up to get in bed and he told me he didn't want to talk that he was leaving and didn't want to look at me anymore covered up his face and went back to bed. Later that afternoon, when he woke up I cried to him and begged him to talk to me, he told me there was nothing left to say, he said its pretty clear what I want and that's that. So I left and went to my parents. They offered to help move my stuff into a storage unit from our home and move into their spare bedroom with my son.

 

So I had to think well for my best interest if he wanted a divorce it would be better for me to file first so I have any chance of getting the things I need from him for our son. But I don't want to file because I want to fix us, I didn't get married to get divorced I made that very clear to him when we decided to get married, I was never going to divorce him. I love him and was us both to get help. After that night I spent at my parents I decided to go back home, I know he was going to be upset because he didn't want me there but, our son needed to be comfortable through all this and I didn't want to take that from him just yet. So that leaves us at today, he was here all day after work and he didn't say two words to me but I did notice he took his wedding ring off, I asked him why, that we hadn't decided anything yet and that makes it look like he is available to any other woman out there and its not fair to me. He didn't say anything but a little while ago I noticed it was on his key chain. Idk what that means but Im trying to hold on to the little hope I have left.

 

He just left for work an hour ago and I am scared that he is going to come home tomorrow and give me divorce papers. We have been through so much and I have cried and begged and told him im willing to do whatever he wants to keep us together, he wont talk to me to tell me what he is thinking or where his head is at. For all I know he is playing head games and just trying to scare me into doing what he wants.

 

I know this all makes me sound desperate but I want to help him get back to being that man that fell in love with me and I want to show him I am changing and trying to help myself to become a better person. I am also getting help for my depression. I need to know what I can do to get him to stay and keep fighting with me. I need help

Broke your post into paragraphs to make it readable...

 

Mr. Lucky