bulldoggirl Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 One of my guy friends has been "dating" a girl that could be his stepsister & I'm wondering what you guys think about it. Here's the situation: His mom & her dad are engaged, but no wedding date has been set yet. She's almost 19, he's 27. All our friends tease him about her, and he never shows affection to her when they're around us (his group of friends) it's almost as if he's embarassed by being with her, or that he doesn't want us to know that they're together, but yet we all know they are. So technically they're not step siblings yet, but if they're parents marry, they will be. In my opinion it wouldn't be such a big deal if she was closer to his age, but there's an 8 year difference between them! She just graduated high school, he's been out 8 years.... So what do you guys think of this? How would you feel if you had a friend in this type of relationship?
UCFKevin Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 They aren't related YET so technically it's okay, but the age difference is odd. Why's he going for someone so much younger? Why can't he get someone more around his age? What can they have in common?
honey2005 Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 My mom is 12 years younger than my dad, and she met him when she was 18. I think this is the first time I've ever agreed with Kelly, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me that he's dating her. What is a big deal, though, is the way he's treating her. She definitely should get someone who treats her with respect even when he is out with his friends. If he is embarassed by her he needs to break up with her. Were they dating before or after their parents got engaged?
Jilly10340 Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I don't think that it's a big deal that they're together. He may not pay her attention around his friends if he is getting constantly teased about it. I mean, if he did show affection around his friends, it would probably be ten times worse. His friends need to back off.
dyermaker Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I do have a friend in *exactly* that relationship, it's funny you mention it. I think it's weird. That's just me.
Jilly10340 Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I guess it just depends on your comfort level....
She's Come Undone Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I don't think you should be dating someone you can't be proud to be with around your friends. If he can't respect her now, don't think he'll start any time soon.
Author bulldoggirl Posted September 27, 2004 Author Posted September 27, 2004 This started after they're parents got engaged...it's a long engagement.... Also, the girlfriend is the one that really persued him... I honestly think he's just in the relationship because it's convienent and he's kinda shy around girls so I think he may feel like this is all he can get. It makes me uncomfortable because when I talk to him, I feel like I should ask about the gf, but it's just so akward!!
FolderWife Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 The only thing that would make that akward, would be if they have a bad break up, yet their parents get married, and they DO become brother and sister by law Other than that.....they are both adults.
Fayebelle Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 hmmm- how did they meet? I just think that siblings of any type - step, half, or "real" should not date b/c family should be the one place you don't have to worry about romantic involvement. Imagine if their ages were lower and they still lived w/their parents- should a 16yr old have to worry about their appearance for a date in the living rm w/someone they already live with? Just seems incestous to me. Likewise- if they were already dating- I don't think the parents should have gotten involved. IMHO there should be some boundaries here.
Author bulldoggirl Posted September 27, 2004 Author Posted September 27, 2004 I totally agree with you Fayebelle, that there should be boundaries.....but since they're both adults it's kinda hard for the parents to forbid them from seeing each other I'm pretty close to his mom, and I know she's not thrilled about the relationship at all....but there's not much she can say, after all he is 27 years old.....it just seems so strange to me because I can't imagine dating a guy 8 years older than me when I was 19.
Fayebelle Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 They'll find out what a crappy idea it is- then they'll be posting on here asking "Why won't Mom and Dad let us have sex at their house" - and later how to maintain NC when you share parents - or maybe it'll work out and they can e-mail Emily Post on how to handle Family of the bride/groom arrangements when they share the same family
Author bulldoggirl Posted September 27, 2004 Author Posted September 27, 2004 Originally posted by Fayebelle They'll find out what a crappy idea it is- then they'll be posting on here asking "Why won't Mom and Dad let us have sex at their house" - and later how to maintain NC when you share parents - or maybe it'll work out and they can e-mail Emily Post on how to handle Family of the bride/groom arrangements when they share the same family Hahahaha! That really made me laugh Fayebelle! Thanks for the giggles!
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