Is MGTOW the answer for men who can't date?

[Sanman]

Interesting woman. Back to the topic at hand.... I don't think that such a thing is the answer, but it is a learning experience. I really like what grkboy had to say about this. I find that many of the men on that site are just scared. Anything worth doing requires a certain level of risk and you cannot be scared to move forward in life. However, you need to think intelligently if you want to manage your risk. I find that few people are able to do this well. Decide what you want out of a relationship and find someone that is compatible with you. If your only interest is the hottest girl you know, that is fine. Just don't be shocked if the basing a relationship on that rather than getting along with the person. Al off this talk about pua and game is a joke because all of those techniques do is allow you entertain someone who is easily bored. But, do you want a long term relationship with someone that is easily bored? Be picky, don't settle easily, and know what is important ad you minimize your chanced of being angry and alone.

[BluEyeL]

I don't know, I think it depends who you marry, and there is risk involved for both sides. For example, if you want you wife to stay home, then yes, in a divorce you will lose a lot to her, but you get to have the control in the household, let's be honest, power stays with the one who makes the money. If you marry an independent woman, you can't really control her so much, but you will both make more money together during the marriage, and you might not lose so much in case of divorce.

 

In my case, I paid 100% of the mortgage of my house, always, and my ex doesn't pay child support. I didn't ask in the divorce papers. Ah, and he walked away, not me. But I probably won't really be told what to do by a man, would need to be a negotiation of sorts So whatever you choose has consequences. For me, as a woman, I have the same worries about a marriage, I could lose material things in a divorce, so I'm not really gung ho about marrying legally.

[grkBoy]

Congratulations!

 

Just curious what's different about her compared to other women you have dated.

 

The simple answer: She's not narcissistic.

 

I also want to say that "taking my time" and dating her for 3 years helped. HoneyBadgerDontCare's remarks might seem misogynistic, but they also point out how a "bad person" can't hide their true nature. Cheaters slip and mess up, liars get exposed, etc.

 

You'll always notice those with something to hide are the ones who seemingly work harder to hide than share. The emotionally unavailable ones, the ones who seemingly do not want to meet your family and friends, the ones who claim they have private issues of their lives and feel that it's their stuff to keep to themselves, etc.

 

Many of the people who seemingly end up with "bad people" had clear signs they ignored. They so badly wanted to be a part of something that they kept overlooking one red flag after another until the leopard showed its spots. Come on, if family/friends are all speaking "eh" or poorly of this person, but you can't see it...then it says something.

 

Here's some other things I'd tell anyone that male or female, would ring off red flags for me:

 

1. He/she acts flighty or flaky.
   
2. He/she is getting into their 30s/40s and yet wants to keep partying like they're in their 20s. They even hold and cling to "guys night out" or "girls night out". You see the guy will hit up strip clubs with his bros or the girl is dressed all sexy as if she were single.
   
3. He/she seemingly shows their narcissism online. You see them post self portraits on Facebook all the time or they complain about ridiculous things, and even put terms like #prettyGirlProblems with it.
   
4. They have many friends of the opposite sex who clearly you can see all want to hook up with him/her. They're not friends who are happy you and him/her are together, but more still flirting and such as if you didn't exist. Worse is when he/she won't set their friends in-line.
   
5. He/she runs in social circles of drama queens. So if they are friends with or have been friends with MANY of the "b!tches who talk *****" people, that speaks volumes of their own personal character.
   
6. If they can't be on their own. She's living at home and working a crap job. He's living in his mom's basement and seemingly is more interested in a nice car or a boat over getting out on his own and settling down in life.
   
7. He/she keeps their lives very private. You feel like you only see an outer shell of this person and he/she never lets you inside.
   
8. He/she won't bring you into his/her social circles and/or won't introduce you to his/her family. He/she also seems disinterested in knowing your friends or family.
   
9. He/she won't rationally solve issues with you, but will more fight and fight to win the argument...even if they were wrong to begin with. Also those who claim "I'm always right" are big red flag folk.
   

 

 

I don't take getting married lightly, but I also will not just sit there and believe marriage is a trap. I still think most marriages and RLs that fail happen because one side couldn't get past the lust/romance to see who this person really is, or they moved too fast, or one or both sides are still treating life as if they are two individuals, not a cohesive partnership.

 

Now I'm sure I'll still see some guys who will twist everything to claim I don't know for sure and "it's your funeral". I usually ignore those because it's clear to see they simply do not trust women at all, and they even clearly do not like women other than as sex toys.

 

This is why I tell guys to get off women 100% when they do MGTOW. Spending your life trying to find ways to get sex when you clearly hate or dislike or distrust women isn't going to heal the mind, heart, and soul. You're just being the person you were, only more hateful.

[StanMusial]

 

Here's some other things I'd tell anyone that male or female, would ring off red flags for me:

 

1. He/she acts flighty or flaky.
   
2. He/she is getting into their 30s/40s and yet wants to keep partying like they're in their 20s. They even hold and cling to "guys night out" or "girls night out". You see the guy will hit up strip clubs with his bros or the girl is dressed all sexy as if she were single.
   
3. He/she seemingly shows their narcissism online. You see them post self portraits on Facebook all the time or they complain about ridiculous things, and even put terms like #prettyGirlProblems with it.
   
4. They have many friends of the opposite sex who clearly you can see all want to hook up with him/her. They're not friends who are happy you and him/her are together, but more still flirting and such as if you didn't exist. Worse is when he/she won't set their friends in-line.
   
5. He/she runs in social circles of drama queens. So if they are friends with or have been friends with MANY of the "b!tches who talk *****" people, that speaks volumes of their own personal character.
   
6. If they can't be on their own. She's living at home and working a crap job. He's living in his mom's basement and seemingly is more interested in a nice car or a boat over getting out on his own and settling down in life.
   
7. He/she keeps their lives very private. You feel like you only see an outer shell of this person and he/she never lets you inside.
   
8. He/she won't bring you into his/her social circles and/or won't introduce you to his/her family. He/she also seems disinterested in knowing your friends or family.
   
9. He/she won't rationally solve issues with you, but will more fight and fight to win the argument...even if they were wrong to begin with. Also those who claim "I'm always right" are big red flag folk.
   

 

Watching out for these red flags would get you about 90% of the way there. This forum would die.