MrIcarus Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Hi, I am 44 my wife is 36 she has often complained that I don't show her enough Love(touch and complimenting in particular) to be perfectly honest I haven't although I often want to I usually look at her and think about the actions then the moment passes because I didn't just act. About 3 weeks ago my Wife and I had a minor fall out and she told me she needs space from me so she can gather her thoughts on our relationship. I am staying at a friends house but feel the need to have contact so text her She responds to some but not to all... Very short often 1 word answers. Am I hassling her too much ? I find it hard because logic says to me that I should be by her side trying to fix these issues Thanks in Advance We have been married for 10 years together for 14
Simpleoldschool Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Do not what i take as concrete. I say again do not tale what i say as concrete. Show her compassion if you have not shown her affection, for her decision. Think of trying to "fix" something when a women needs space adds pressure. The key word is pressure. You hold to tightly, it will break. The relationship. So do noy try and fix anything. Simply tell her that you will support her in her feelings. I would go this route. I beilieve shes testing your reaction to solving an issue REAL to her. Tell her that you understand shes hurting because she desires your affection. In total this is something you can handle. Tell her you want her to take time, because her feelings expecially about you are important and during that time focus on how you can improve on her requests. Call me crazy but what your wife asks of you is never TOO MUCH. Be patient respect her give her space and add NO PRESSURE. I.e. do not tell her how she needs to think feel or what she needs to do. For a man no control is scary. But trust her. And give her time.
Gunny376 Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 It just a given fact, that TOO much of anything ~ even a good thing ~ isn't always good. In as much as close personal intimactcy is important in any relationship, we'll all need to have our own lifes, interests, hobbies, etc. But when comes to being married, women need physical and emotional connections, (I'm not talking about sex here) in as and much the same way men crave the act of sex. Its pretty much one hand washing the other? Its an answer to why men don't get enough sex, and women don't get enough love. Women want, need, and desire to be loved, wanted, needed, desired (and not just for a booty call, or to be made to feel like their just a vaginal life support system. For now you need to give her the gift of missing you while quitting be a fool and get your happy azz back into school ~ learning and changing and doing the necessary hard work it takes to please a woman ~ any woman. Intimacy to a woman isn't just about sex ~ there's much, much more to it than that. And if you don't learn to accept, and appreciate that fact your doomed to a lifetime of misery in regards to women. IMHO ~ which along with $2 will get you a cup of coffee at the Waffle House.
Steadfast Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I think people on the wrong end of the 'leaving' equation often make the mistake of super-analyzing the situation in order to fix what's wrong. Especially men, who are often born 'fixers'. Fixing a marriage takes two. Break it down: Q: What's her beef? A: You're not acting the way you should. Q: What did she do? A: Leave. Q: How does she respond when you try to contact her? A: Short and not too sweet. Q: What does she want? A: Who knows? But you know what she doesn't want. To talk to you. But if she does, she has a very funny way of showing it. What to do? Demand some real attention from her. Don't pussy foot around it; show some moxie. Tell her we need to talk. If she agrees, calmly and sincerely say what you wrote in your opening post. Explain your willing to admit your faults, that you're sorry, that you love her and you miss her. Warning: Don't be surprised if she shows little to no emotional response. Why? Because her reasons for leaving may not have anything to do with how your acting or anything you've done. After? Leave her be. I mean it. Unless she's a total airhead, she will remember. Don't repeat yourself. Don't get angry. Don't demand. Don't lose it. When she talks, listen. Set a time table of how long you'll wait before getting on with it. No matter what you've done (or haven't done) her putting you in a state of limbo is at best, unfair. She's weighing her options. Loving wives don't do that. In the meantime, take what you've learned about yourself and improve it.
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