mbee Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Hey guys, I love this forum because sometimes it cheers me up and I'm hoping that can happen. I'm currently in Cancun, Mexico and it's my birthday. I thought this would be a good idea but I traveled so much with my ex. Being at the airport, on the place just reminded me more of our times together. As some of you know he left me very suddenly for a married woman. He flew to be with her today, on my birthday and just a month ago we were discussing him coming here to be with me. I broke NC cause I'm so heartbroken and he wrote this back to me. "But I'm thinking of you on your birthday. I wish your birthday is amazing and that you wouldn't feel lonely. Is it ok to say that I miss you very much as my friend? I miss our talks. I miss when we could just have fun together. I know that isn't possible now, but I wish it was. I hope it may be someday. You were my best friend. I'm so sorry I hurt you." It just makes me feel worse. Just a few days ago he said I was his best friend and I don't know how his feelings changed so suddenly and why he's with that married woman right now. I'm so sorry to write about this I'm just having a meltdown and can't even begin to think of leaving my hotel room right now.
Minneloa Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I am so sorry, mbee. Sending hugs, good thoughts, and warm birthday wishes.
siankat Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Treat yourself for your birthday, by doing something for you. And that is going out, doing all the things you would do if you were 'happy' while on holiday. And im not saying this will make you feel better. Being on holiday, one that was planned with your love, alone, is tough as it gets on here but....trust me about one thing please, you will remember how bad you felt right now one day (when you are feeling much better), and you will want to remember that although you felt worse doing things than hiding under the covers, you did them in the face of all the hurt. The memory of being so strong, will never be taken away from you. Pleeaassee go out there and make something of it! Birthday huggins xxx 2
Author mbee Posted May 14, 2013 Author Posted May 14, 2013 Thanks so much everyone! I do feel much better. for a general update, I know some people recommend taking vacations after a breakup. From my experience it is a good idea. The first day was really hard but if you are with a friend or traveling alone it can be a very positive experience. I had quite a few guys hit on me which is always a confidence booster. I also met a few really nice people. I shared a bit of my situation with them and it's amazing what people have went through. Someone traveling because they are going through a divorce, a woman who is divorced but her ex cheated on her and is now marrying the person that cheated on her. And then happy couples. It does help you realize that this is just a sad part of life, but people can move on and you will move on. Sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone and physically meeting people who can relate to your situation really does help you realize that this is a hard time, and it may take over a year, but it does pass. You also meet really nice people and get further affirmation that the breakup was a good thing and know that there are kind and genuine people out there. Also, sometimes it drives your ex crazy. I've only been gone for a few days and know that he's texted me a few times, and sent me 2 messages on Facebook. And since I'm out having a good time and not on my comptuer or phone, there's no temptation to write back and by the time I see it, I just had a great day, am ready to hit the sack and don't want to deal with my exe's crap. Just something for you guys to think about. Holidays can get expensive but even if it isn't overseas, sometimes just leaving your state or city can make a big difference, even just for 3 days. Just make sure you leave the phone and laptop off the whole time, and make an effort to talk to other tourists. 2
sweetheart5381 Posted May 14, 2013 Posted May 14, 2013 Thanks so much everyone! I do feel much better. for a general update, I know some people recommend taking vacations after a breakup. From my experience it is a good idea. The first day was really hard but if you are with a friend or traveling alone it can be a very positive experience. I had quite a few guys hit on me which is always a confidence booster. I also met a few really nice people. I shared a bit of my situation with them and it's amazing what people have went through. Someone traveling because they are going through a divorce, a woman who is divorced but her ex cheated on her and is now marrying the person that cheated on her. And then happy couples. It does help you realize that this is just a sad part of life, but people can move on and you will move on. Sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone and physically meeting people who can relate to your situation really does help you realize that this is a hard time, and it may take over a year, but it does pass. You also meet really nice people and get further affirmation that the breakup was a good thing and know that there are kind and genuine people out there. Also, sometimes it drives your ex crazy. I've only been gone for a few days and know that he's texted me a few times, and sent me 2 messages on Facebook. And since I'm out having a good time and not on my comptuer or phone, there's no temptation to write back and by the time I see it, I just had a great day, am ready to hit the sack and don't want to deal with my exe's crap. Just something for you guys to think about. Holidays can get expensive but even if it isn't overseas, sometimes just leaving your state or city can make a big difference, even just for 3 days. Just make sure you leave the phone and laptop off the whole time, and make an effort to talk to other tourists. Kudos to you mbee! Great job and you are right on the money. Everyone feels crappy, down, heartbroken, betrayed, etc at some point or another in their life. EVERYONE! Chalk it up to experience... then go have some more new, positive experiences Good job lady!!
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