Can't take it anymore. He never loved me.

[J_L_C]

I can't take it anymore. It's been a long 9 months since the BU and about 2 months NC, but I still miss him just as much as I did the day it ended. I thought NC would help, but now I'm constantly wondering what he is up to, if he's seeing anyone, etc. It was his birthday this weekend and I think that has prompted even more negative feelings inside. I'm dying with all of my thoughts and feelings. All I do is go to work and then come home & crawl into bed. At least sleeping keeps my thoughts away.

 

I just STILL can't get my head around the things he promised me, how he felt about me and how EASILY he just changed his mind and walked away. Like what we had was nothing. He knew I was dealing with a pretty serious health issue as well and he hasn't even checked in to see about how I'm doing with that, if nothing else.

 

I'm debating contacting him and suggesting a meet up. It's been so long and the "storm" has passed so to speak. I just want to see him and can't fathom the fact that he just wrote me off. Over 2 months ago we were talking about a potential friendship but because of my "pestering" he just couldn't do it. And that was that. screwed up over it all and he's out there 'living it up' like I was nothing.

Edited May 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[may_girl]

I worry after reading these posts because it seems like there is still hope for you in eventually getting past it. It's been over 9 months since my breakup and I'm just as bad as the day it ended. I never would have imagined being in this mind frame so long after, but the anger, frustration and depression just won't stop. I'm so screwed up over it all and he's out there 'living it up' like I was nothing.

 

Well have you gone NC? Completely?

 

Are you living your life and not pining over him every day?

 

Of course it gets better. That is very pessimistic and unfortunately I think you are doing something wrong for you or not following the advice on this forum if it isn't getting better.

 

Have you considered seeing a professional, if it's gone on this long?

[J_L_C]

Well have you gone NC? Completely?

 

Are you living your life and not pining over him every day?

 

Of course it gets better. That is very pessimistic and unfortunately I think you are doing something wrong for you or not following the advice on this forum if it isn't getting better.

 

Have you considered seeing a professional, if it's gone on this long?

 

Hey there,

Yes I have seen a professional but they all pretty much say the same things...get out there, enjoy life, out him out of your mind, etc. but that's the problem. I've totally lost my desire to do any of the things I used to. I'm not living...simply existing.

 

Have you seen my thread? Titled: Sherlock Holmes.

 

My upsets are not for lack of trying. I've put myself out there for months and months but I often feel worse because I'm just "faking" it. He's out there all happy and not thinking twice about the horrible things he did or how much he hurt me. He seemingly changed his mind about us overnight and that was it. He was gone.

 

We are completely NC but I still wonder what he's up to, if he's with anyone, I think and wonder how he was able to give me up and not ever look back even once.

 

9 months later and I still don't understand how it happened when we were planning a life together. The biggest thing I can't get past is how he made me believe I was his everything, he wanted a life with me and then BOOM, he was gone. I think it's gotten harder and harder because I honestly believed I would have heard from him by now, in some capacity. But it's only been silence a d there is just no more happiness ahead for me.

[may_girl]

Hey there,

Yes I have seen a professional but they all pretty much say the same things...get out there, enjoy life, out him out of your mind, etc. but that's the problem. I've totally lost my desire to do any of the things I used to. I'm not living...simply existing.

 

Have you seen my thread? Titled: Sherlock Holmes.

 

My upsets are not for lack of trying. I've put myself out there for months and months but I often feel worse because I'm just "faking" it. He's out there all happy and not thinking twice about the horrible things he did or how much he hurt me. He seemingly changed his mind about us overnight and that was it. He was gone.

 

We are completely NC but I still wonder what he's up to, if he's with anyone, I think and wonder how he was able to give me up and not ever look back even once.

 

9 months later and I still don't understand how it happened when we were planning a life together. The biggest thing I can't get past is how he made me believe I was his everything, he wanted a life with me and then BOOM, he was gone. I think it's gotten harder and harder because I honestly believed I would have heard from him by now, in some capacity. But it's only been silence a d there is just no more happiness ahead for me.

 

 

There is always happiness. There will always be something that you can do to make yourself happy, and although you say you've tried to get out there but you feel like you're "faking" it, I don't think you're trying enough. Maybe you need to find something to completely absorb yourself in, alone - such as reading a good book, writing, etc. You need to start getting along with and loving yourself.

 

And I understand your sadness that he hasn't looked back or regretted anything, but most cases are like that. It is so rare that an ex does that. But while you are waiting for him to regret etc, he won't. Trust me.

 

The best 'revenge' you can do is to have an amazing time and live your life exactly how YOU want to. Have achievements, do something with yourself, be proud of yourself and be exactly who you want to be. You are not a pair, you were born as an individual. Sometimes we need to learn to let go of our expectations and just do what we enjoy for ourselves.

 

I'm aware you've probably been told these things but you really need to listen and act on them. Do you really want to stay feeling this way forever?

[J_L_C]

This is my exact story, but I'm a male lol. Been out just about 9 months like you, held out hope. I just feel really inadequate, still thinking there is something wrong with me.

 

Some days I feel ok, but the majority of the time I feel depressed, angry, and bitter on the way I was disregarded, as if I was nothing.

 

Hopefully it all will fade at some point.

 

So how so you manage to get thru the days? He's all I think about 24/7. It's interfered with my life so much so that I almost question going on at all. If its been 9 months of this already, I can't even take another month more.

[J_L_C]

I honestly don't know how I get through the days. I try to stay busy, and it does work sometimes. But a majority of the time I'm just like you, the ex is all I think about. There are days I can remember things I did with the ex that I never thought I'd remember again, the most insignificant details (a lot of hurt in this).

 

There are many days I question why go on? Why try? A lot of my views on the world have changed because of the way my relationship ended, I feel hopeless. But, I have to move on and try to hold out hope something better is waiting for me.

 

This is my problem. I have tried and tried to go on, but after 9 months I'm thinking that its always going to be this hard. All I do is work and then come home and crawl into bed. I don't care about anything and don't want to do anything. Sleeping is the only thing that turns my throughts OFF.

[may_girl]

I'm debating contacting him and suggesting a meet up. It's been so long and the "storm" has passed so to speak. I just want to see him and can't fathom the fact that he just wrote me off. Over 2 months ago we were talking about a potential friendship but because of my "pestering" he just couldn't do it. And that was that. screwed up over it all and he's out there 'living it up' like I was nothing.

 

 

Honey, the 'storm' has most certainly not passed. You have explained why yourself in the opening paragraphs. Do not contact him and suggest friendship again, because nothing has changed.

 

Your life is still revolving around him and it is unhealthy for you two to be in contact. You need to seriously work on yourself before you even consider contacting him - and when you are in a good place, the chances are you won't even want to contact or know him anyway.

Edited May 12, 2013 by may_girl

[J_L_C]

Honey, the 'storm' has most certainly not passed. You have explained why yourself in the opening paragraphs. Do not contact him and suggest friendship again, because nothing has changed.

 

Your life is still revolving around him and it is unhealthy for you two to be in contact. You need to seriously work on yourself before you even consider contacting him - and when you are in a good place, the chances are you won't even want to contact or know him anyway.

 

I'm scared, sad, depressed, you name it. After 9 months I really believed I'd be thinking differently. I just miss him so much. I was so happy when we were together and now I just crawl up in bed and cry. My family and friends just tell me to get over it, which shows me they have no clue what I'm feeling and it makes it even worse for me!!! What do I have to do to get them to understand I'm not coping?! I can't just turn a switch like they all seem to think I can. They keep saying "I haven't accepted things and really understood that he is gone". I understand it, but I can't stop hoping, wishing and believing for something more. It's because of all those things he said and promised me that make it hard for me to just accept that he's not feeling it anymore. He was saying those things THE NIGHT BEFORE WE SPLIT. Were they just words and he never meant them at all???

 

I really want to suggest meeting up with him.

[may_girl]

I'm scared, sad, depressed, you name it. After 9 months I really believed I'd be thinking differently. I just miss him so much. I was so happy when we were together and now I just crawl up in bed and cry. My family and friends just tell me to get over it, which shows me they have no clue what I'm feeling and it makes it even worse for me!!! What do I have to do to get them to understand I'm not coping?! I can't just turn a switch like they all seem to think I can. They keep saying "I haven't accepted things and really understood that he is gone". I understand it, but I can't stop hoping, wishing and believing for something more. It's because of all those things he said and promised me that make it hard for me to just accept that he's not feeling it anymore. He was saying those things THE NIGHT BEFORE WE SPLIT. Were they just words and he never meant them at all???

 

I really want to suggest meeting up with him.

 

 

We all know and understand the heartache, heck, that's why we're all here right? But it is so important in the healing process that you put yourself first. Seeing him or even breaking contact will set you back completely when you're at such a vulnerable stage. You can't do that to yourself, why would you want to?

 

So you message him and ask him to meet.

1) He ignores you

2) He agrees and you find out he's happy and doesn't want you back.

 

Either way you will be the one worse off. His ego will be completely inflated after 9 months, you telling him you're still not over this. And you say it's hard to accept he's not over this, but it has been 9 months. He has had 9 months to realize he's not over it - I think that tells you he knows what he's doing.

 

Please, for your own self-respect don't contact.

[Simon Phoenix]

Once again, you aren't being honest with yourself. You haven't tried to get over him for nine months though. For seven months you were at his beck and call, trying to get him back and overlooking his terrible treatment of you. You have to fight through this. You have to go out of your way to make things happy for yourself. Whatever you do, don't be pathetic and try to call this guy. He's a monster.

 

Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are tough when you are broken up because they conjure memories. But you really have to try to get over this and, quite frankly, I don't think you are. I think you are wallowing in your own self-pity. NC isn't there to just sit around and wait for them to contact you. It's there to get yourself out doing things. And yes, you'll have to fake it until you make it. But you are early in the process because you spent over seven months in an abusive friends-with-benefits situation where you basically threw all dignity you have out the window. Don't do that again.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm scared, sad, depressed, you name it. After 9 months I really believed I'd be thinking differently. I just miss him so much. I was so happy when we were together and now I just crawl up in bed and cry. My family and friends just tell me to get over it, which shows me they have no clue what I'm feeling and it makes it even worse for me!!! What do I have to do to get them to understand I'm not coping?! I can't just turn a switch like they all seem to think I can. They keep saying "I haven't accepted things and really understood that he is gone". I understand it, but I can't stop hoping, wishing and believing for something more. It's because of all those things he said and promised me that make it hard for me to just accept that he's not feeling it anymore. He was saying those things THE NIGHT BEFORE WE SPLIT. Were they just words and he never meant them at all???

 

I really want to suggest meeting up with him.

 

Im so sorry for your pain.....

 

Dont contact him...Really.....You have to get a hold of it somehow...Find some strength. Nothing posititive will come of it and you will be set back further.

 

I am sure you have heard it all, but think about the things you are saying. The way you write its as if your sole existence depends on this other human being. That just cannot sit right with you or anyone else for that matter.

 

Read the posts of those that initiated contact with the ones that dumped them. IT NEVER TURNS OUT WELL.

 

I wish you well...

 

TFY

[BustedUpInside]

I know exactly how you feel. I am so sorry : ( I also know that it absolutely does nothing when people tell you to just forget him and be happy. That is like telling someone to just start flying around and forget about gravity. It seems impossible. My only advice is that you really should take an accurate assessment of your life. My guess is that it actually probably has gotten better since the break up. I know you still miss your ex a lot but I would be willing to bet that you are slowly getting over him. It is a process and it takes time to recover and often there are lots of setbacks. Give yourself some slack but also know when it is time to be hard on yourself. Stop the pity party and decide how you want your future to be. No one is saying that you have to forget about your ex, but he doesn't want a relationship with you right now. It doesn't matter what he promised or said, or told you he felt, because he doesn't feel that way now. You have to understand that you have a lot of life left and if he never comes back, you don't want to just keep pining for him everyday because then he has two people (him and you) putting his happiness and life first and that leaves no one to take care of you.

[siankat]

I'm scared, sad, depressed, you name it. After 9 months I really believed I'd be thinking differently. I just miss him so much. I was so happy when we were together and now I just crawl up in bed and cry. My family and friends just tell me to get over it, which shows me they have no clue what I'm feeling and it makes it even worse for me!!! What do I have to do to get them to understand I'm not coping?! I can't just turn a switch like they all seem to think I can. They keep saying "I haven't accepted things and really understood that he is gone". I understand it, but I can't stop hoping, wishing and believing for something more. It's because of all those things he said and promised me that make it hard for me to just accept that he's not feeling it anymore. He was saying those things THE NIGHT BEFORE WE SPLIT. Were they just words and he never meant them at all???

 

I really want to suggest meeting up with him.

 

All anyone else here wants to do, is feel better. That is the bottom line, that is also why we form relationships, at the crux of it, to feel better. You are looking at him to fix if for you to feel better. I can tell you from what i have read of your story and thought process is that you are akin to an alcoholic looking at a bottle of JD for the answers. Addiction isn't just about the substance, in this case him, it's about you. I don't know if this is your first relationship or how you have dealt with other breakups but i wonder, is the way you are feeling about the breakup familiar to past breakups you have gone through?

[J_L_C]

Once again, you aren't being honest with yourself. You haven't tried to get over him for nine months though. For seven months you were at his beck and call, trying to get him back and overlooking his terrible treatment of you. You have to fight through this. You have to go out of your way to make things happy for yourself. Whatever you do, don't be pathetic and try to call this guy. He's a monster.

 

Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are tough when you are broken up because they conjure memories. But you really have to try to get over this and, quite frankly, I don't think you are. I think you are wallowing in your own self-pity. NC isn't there to just sit around and wait for them to contact you. It's there to get yourself out doing things. And yes, you'll have to fake it until you make it. But you are early in the process because you spent over seven months in an abusive friends-with-benefits situation where you basically threw all dignity you have out the window. Don't do that again.

 

Hey Simon,

 

You're right that birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are really, super hard. His birthday was yesterday and I actually withheld and did not send him a message. Still tough though. Previous to this, he finally dropped my stuff off (I didn't actually see him), but that was tough too because there no longer remains a reason for us to be in contact.

 

I have tried to get back to as normal a routine as possible, but I still don't feel any different. No matter what, I am scared this is just the way my life will be. Despite the terrible things that happened during the breakup, I was at my happiest while we were together. He just snatched it away and never looked back and THAT'S the part I'm having terrible difficulties with. It has shown me he never felt the things he said he felt or else he would never have been able to a) treat me that way and b) walked away without a second look. I put all of my trust into him and I shouldn't have. I'll never trust anyone else again.

 

The other thing this has done is completely taken away any interest in a future romantic relationship. First off, I don't desire one whatsoever and second, I know I will never be able to trust someone fully again. I can't see myself giving away that trust once more. But the main thing is that I just don't forsee having an interest in a relationship again. All I ever wanted, from a very young age, was to find that 'teammate', that 'best friend'. I wanted that love and connection with someone and when my ex came into the picture, I really believed I had found it. He was only ever my second serious relationship. Prior to him, I was with someone for nearly 6 years. We broke up on a mutual basis and are still very dear friends today. My ex-ex and I were very honest with each other and there weren't any 'negatives' (e.g., secrets, cheating, lying). We both just lost that loving feeling and were able to be open with each other about it. He's probably one of my closest friends today. This recent ex though, even the night before we split, he was telling me how much he loved me and how he'd never felt this way for someone...but it was lies! All lies! Especially since I found out he'd met someone in a bar 3 weeks before dropping the bomb on me. He claims it wasn't cheating, but whether something physical happened or not, it was dishonest.

 

I don't know why he thinks I'm such a worthless being. He can't even be bothered to have this friendship he spoke of wanting for so long. If I was so damn important to him, the first girl he ever felt this way for, then how is it that he brushed me off like I was a flea on a dog? Never looking back once? I would think that if I meant that much to him, he'd 'maybe' vacillate just a tad. But no, nothing.

[siankat]

This is the most important thing to be learned from a break up. Never to trust anybody.

 

Sarcasm i hope!

[J_L_C]

Sarcasm or not, I just honestly don't believe I'll ever be able to trust someone again. I can't help how I feel. I have no interest whatsoever in becoming involved with anyone again. I trusted him so fully and completely, and literally the next day, he pulled the rug from under my feet. Never saw it coming. With my luck, the same thing would happen again with the next one.

 

I keep feeling this need to remind him I'm still around. People keep telling me that 'if' he were to ever become curious about what I've been up to, he'd come around to that way of thinking on his own. I'm not sure about that though. He is always so self-involved and doesn't notice things around him. The only way for him to ever come around to thinking of me again, would be if I were there to remind him. That is the reason for why I'm thinking of asking him to meet up. Not for a talk or anything, but just to catch up. Friends of mine are opposed to this of course. They seem to believe that if this should happen, it would come of his own volition.

 

I don't know if I buy into the whole "what will be will be" business. Sometimes you have to go after what you want. If he says no to hanging out, well, at least I tried. If I don't try though, it is certain it will never happen.

 

I have many friends and family telling me that when people get back together, many times it happens long down the road. Months-years, because people need to change. Again, I find this hard to believe because why would he suddenly start thinking about me again lets say, 2 years from now? It just doesn't make sense. I've always felt that breakups that become reconciliations, happen sooner rather than later. The longer times passes by, the more gone it really is.

[happydate]

I can't take it anymore. It's been a long 9 months since the BU and about 2 months NC, but I still miss him just as much as I did the day it ended. I thought NC would help, but now I'm constantly wondering what he is up to, if he's seeing anyone, etc. It was his birthday this weekend and I think that has prompted even more negative feelings inside. I'm dying with all of my thoughts and feelings. All I do is go to work and then come home & crawl into bed. At least sleeping keeps my thoughts away.

 

I just STILL can't get my head around the things he promised me, how he felt about me and how EASILY he just changed his mind and walked away. Like what we had was nothing. He knew I was dealing with a pretty serious health issue as well and he hasn't even checked in to see about how I'm doing with that, if nothing else.

 

I'm debating contacting him and suggesting a meet up. It's been so long and the "storm" has passed so to speak. I just want to see him and can't fathom the fact that he just wrote me off. Over 2 months ago we were talking about a potential friendship but because of my "pestering" he just couldn't do it. And that was that. screwed up over it all and he's out there 'living it up' like I was nothing.

 

Seeing him isn't going to resolve your issues, which you need to resolve on your own first. Doing NC and no emotional freedom work on your part IS NOT GOING to heal your emotional wounds. Just working and coming home to sleep will not resolve these issues. I know. As a man, I had the same problems like yours years ago. But I got help both professionally and spiritually (through psychics and PLR (Past Life Regression)) and understood and come to appreciate the relationships I am in now are a gift from god and that I can release them, heal and bounce back rapidly.

 

First of all, going to a traditional psychiatrist isn't going to help you at all in the short term as they are trying to fix what's broken and in fact, nothing is broken. U got me?

 

You need to tell yourself that you are NOT A VICTIM and you are not broken. Oh yeah, it's a weird concept but it is truly what it is. You are not a victim as god never put us here on earth to suffer! But he puts you and all of us here to learn a lesson in love and what that is different from each and one of us.

 

The first important lesson to heal the heart is to first learn to love yourself. The reason why you are suffering right now is that, you NEED SOMEONE to feel love, but the real fact is that, you DO NOT NEED someone to feel you are loved. You are always loved, by yourself and you need to affirm that by making yourself feel good about yourself. If you love yourself very much, you won't be looking for Mr. Broken too often trying to get him to provide you with the love you are missing. Perhaps, you are raised in a family that your dad provides zero or a lack of affection towards you and that he depended solely on his wife to give you the affection and love you need and so now, you loath and hunger for a man's love, or any man's love but you are then betrayed that the love he gave was not authentic and that you are being used, abused and hurt by it. A good man DOES NOT do this and he is a good nurturer of kids who can equally stand side by side with his wife to nurture her daughter, but you can not meet this type of man because of your own self-love issues. Laws of Attraction states that like attracts like and for that, a man lacking in self-love will attract another woman who lacks in self-love. Each feeding each other for this energy through physical sex, kisses and physical affection which will lead you no where but pain and disappointment.

Notice I didn't mention anything about internal love and affection which is what love is all about.

 

To start the healing process, you need to heal what's is lacking inside of you. You need to provide the means for you to start LOVING YOURSELF. That you don't need an external source of love (be it a man or woman) to make you feel loved. And that you can feel loved by yourself is a good start. Then when you are healed, you will start attracting the right kind of man or woman that vibrates in the same frequency as you do, the high frequency of love. You don't need fishharmony.com to look for them. They will appear out of nowhere just for you, which is a beauty. It's happening to me so often now that it's not even funny anymore!!

 

To heal.

 

1, Identify what you are missing inside of you.

2, Identify any repressed emotional issues you have. Being authentic and honest.

3, Address what's missing inside of you with self-affirmations using the mirror technique. Being authentic and be very brave and persistent. Cry if you will, which is a very good thing.

4, Address repressed emotional issues you have by expressing out loud in a secluded area. Like your daddy never really give you the love and affection you so desired. Oh yes, start with your daddy or mommy first.

In my case, my mother had always been a cold fish and as a man, I never knew how I could provide good kisses and warm affection and even heart to heart hugs. I had to be trained by a number of gorgeous and warm hearted women in the treatment center.

 

5, If you still have some residual feelings and anger, consider seeking an EFT specialists. Emotional Freedom Technique uses meridians and self-affirmations to rid past emotional trauma. It's painless, but strangely effectively. One session will take roughly 2 hrs and you make take more if need. The therapist will determine this after hearing your life issues and form affirmation prayers.

 

6, If you still have some residual feelings which you can not rid of through EFT and if you have an open mind is to seek a PLR. (Past Life Regression). You must believe in re-incarnation for this to work. What this does is for a hypnotherapist to get you to go beyond this realm and into your past lives (yes we live many past lives) to find out why you have such DEEP FEELINGS for this guy or girl. For myself, the woman I had deep feelings of happened to be my wife, girlfiend, short term flings for many life times. It's scary how the PLR specialists got some many details correctly. The deep feelings came from us being together for hundreds of lifetimes through reincarnation and this lifetime was the time for me to end the karma between us. After knowing that, I felt marvellous and was able to move on! Only use this

as your last resort, but the experience will be fascinating.

 

Hope this helps.

Edited May 13, 2013 by happydate

[CorridorE]

Sarcasm or not, I just honestly don't believe I'll ever be able to trust someone again. I can't help how I feel. I have no interest whatsoever in becoming involved with anyone again. I trusted him so fully and completely, and literally the next day, he pulled the rug from under my feet. Never saw it coming. With my luck, the same thing would happen again with the next one.

 

I know how you feel. I was with a guy for three years and trusted him will everything I had. He was my best friend and the one person I truly thought I could count on. And then, right before he left me, I found out he had been cheating on me with multiple girls practically since day 1. What a good lier he was... none of my friends ever knew, and after the BU I even had HIS guy friends come to me apologizing for him, saying they had no idea and would have told me if they had.

 

Now I'm scared I won't be able to trust again. For three years he had me believing I had his full committment, so how will I be able to trust anyone again? I do want another relationship though, so I think that will be my greatest struggle, even greater than finally getting over him.

[J_L_C]

If an ex ever does come back, do you believe it's more likely years down the road or do you believe the sooner the better in terms of likelihood?

[happydate]

I know how you feel. I was with a guy for three years and trusted him will everything I had. He was my best friend and the one person I truly thought I could count on. And then, right before he left me, I found out he had been cheating on me with multiple girls practically since day 1. What a good lier he was... none of my friends ever knew, and after the BU I even had HIS guy friends come to me apologizing for him, saying they had no idea and would have told me if they had.

 

Now I'm scared I won't be able to trust again. For three years he had me believing I had his full committment, so how will I be able to trust anyone again? I do want another relationship though, so I think that will be my greatest struggle, even greater than finally getting over him.

 

You both will never have a healthy loving relationship if you both shutdown your heart.

 

You need to understand the concept of learn through pain and that relationships presented to us in real life are lessons that we need to learn to better ourselves through personal growth. It is through this growth that we attract the right kind of man or woman rather than the victim and victimizer routine we so loath to continue weeping and mopping through.

 

Why do we blame that it's not our fault and then there are a lot of Mr. Broken and Miss. Broken? The fact of the matter is, we are all unbroken. We think of them as being broken because we judged them through our own perception, the perception that you ladies and myself included (I am a man) formed through years of relationship failures, which are important lessons both of you have yet learned. Even myself, I have lesson that has yet mastered. Just reading both of your problems reverberated very strongly in my therapy group sessions with other women too and that these stories you mentioned all come more too often. What you need to remember is that, a breakup is a gift and that all of us aren't meant to be together like what you read in romance novels or what being pumped out in Hollywood either..

 

My experience and the experiences from the ladies in the same session is that, once you work through your own issues especially your childhood issues which is a major contributor to dysfunctional relationship you have with man or a woman must first be addressed. But we fear this because we think there is nothing wrong with our parents and yet we fear attaching their inadequacies of teaching you and myself what love truly is.

[CorridorE]

If an ex ever does come back, do you believe it's more likely years down the road or do you believe the sooner the better in terms of likelihood?

 

Everyone's thought process is different, so there are no statistics to state when the average ex might 'realize his/her mistake,' if ever. You'll never know unless it happens, and you can't allow yourself to sit and wait. They really aren't worth it. Most of the time they won't come back, and if we really look at our situations it's best that way. Our hearts want then back but our minds know they are wrong for us. We have to learn to listen to our better instincts and eventually accept that there is someone who will be much better for us than they were.

[J_L_C]

He probably wouldn't even care if he found out I killed myself. This is how low I'm feeling. I'm never going to get past this. I give up.

[J_L_C]

I appreciate your thoughts but I can't help feeling what a huge waste of my time he was and now look where I am. My life sucks!

[ThatJustHappened]

Anyone else here think that J_L_C and Love Does Not Exist should hook up? That might help you both. Just sayin'...

[ThatJustHappened]

I'm not capable of hooking up with anyone, I'm on the brink of suicide

 

Have you called a suicide hotline?