average guy Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 Hi Does anyone have a phobia of other drivers? Not just aggressive ones (too fast) but bad ones as well? If I’m driving and everyone is going the speed limit and being polite and respectful (not tailgating, etc.) I have no problem and actually love driving, but as soon as one driver strays from the norm (too fast, too slow, doesn’t indicate to change lanes and cuts in front of other cars, etc.) I feel so “disrespected”. Is this normal? Or have I just reached my tolerance limit of bad drivers and am now upset at what they do? Is it just me, or is society getting more and more like this? I feel like it shouldn’t affect me, but when you are driving a car at a speed capable of killing or injuring someone, and someone drives unsafe, it gets your adrenalin up to be able to react to a possible accident and it’s hard to “just go with the flow” and relax and I think I am developing a kind of phobia of other drivers as a result (even though most of the time driving is fine). Ps. I’m not actually talking about road rage where people yell and gesture at each other, I would NEVER do anything like that and have never seen any real “road rage”. Cheers
moimeme Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I feel so “disrespected”. First of all, I loathe that word. Secondly, there is no earthly reason you ought to take the behaviour of others personally. Humans make mistakes. So do you. So do I. If a day ever comes in which either of us has gone a year without making a single mistake, and then maybe we could criticize others for making mistakes but that ain't gonna happen. So how's about looking at it another way; the fact that there are too many drivers on the road these days makes you nervous because mistakes become much more dangerous. However I've yet to hear of anybody other than me suggest that people not be allowed to set food behind a steering wheel without being professionally educated in driving, including taking defensive driving courses. So the best thing to do is start taking buses or cabs (when you add it up, taking cabs for a year will cost you about as much as owning a car), move to where everything's closer, get into a car pool, or drive at hours when the traffic's lighter. I do most of those things because I did take defensive driving and I saw what can happen if some fool smushes you. I love to drive - when the roads are fairly clear of traffic. Otherwise, it's a chore I avoid by doing those other things instead.
Mr Spock Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 It's normal. You just don't like a**h*** drivers. And it IS Road Rage-if it makes you tense, nervous or upset, it's classified as "road rage" as far as I'm aware. You don't have to be pulling someone out of their window to curb stomp them to suffer from Road Rage. Take deep breaths.
faux Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 There are times, when I have been driving, that I thought too much about what was going on around me, and became very frightened. I can be the safest driver ever, and at any moment in time, some intoxicated, tired, or angry driver can swerve and KILL ME. I would not say that I have ever felt disrespected, but I have felt fear. Unfortunately, there are times where I have given in to road rage.
Leikela Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I live in NJ, one of the most congested areas, traffic wise, in the country. What I've realized is that almost EVERYONE puts everyone else in danger on the road by not following simple traffic rules. Not only do fast drivers put us in danger but the slow ones do too when they're going 50 MPH in the left lane on a 65 MPH road. If everyone followed the rules and read the signs on the highway "Slow Traffic, Stay Right" then we wouldn't have as many idiotic accidents. What I've learned to do, is not fear other drivers but to just ASSUME that they are going to make an idiotic driving move and adjust my own driving habits according to theirs.
brashgal Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I think it is called self-preservation. Disrespected? How can you take it personally? They don't know you and they are endangering everyone, not just you. Best to just give them a wide berth if you spot them and hope for the best.
bluechocolate Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 In my youth I was in several accidents - one of which was my fault. In one of those accidents I was trapped in the car & bleeding profusely from several head wounds. I've also been hit by a car crossing the road as a pedestrian & was sent flying face first across 2 lanes of traffic - those injuries were quite horrific but nothing permanent, thank God. On top of that, I lost my cousin & best friend to a drunk driver who had been banned from driving! - talk about some bad car karma !! - As you may imagine I have a profound respect for the damage that a car can do. Now I live on a tiny island with over 50 million people and it seems that each one of them has a car! I'm lucky enough to work from home now so I don't have to do the daily commute. But when I did I always lived within walking distance of work or took public transport. I cannot stand driving in rush hour. And like Moi, I avoid the roads when I know they're going to busy. I think that many people in our society have become very selfish & self-obsessed. So many people feel that they have "rights" and no one should interfere with them. Unfortunately this shows up in the way they drive. Like Leikela, I just assume that other drivers are going to be stupid. Then it's not a surprise when they are.
Author average guy Posted September 27, 2004 Author Posted September 27, 2004 Thanks everyone I've actually moved to the country to drive less, and have ended up on the road more! (you have to drive to everything!) Anyway, I think it is more of an issue with my boundaries (another topic mentioned boudnaries and victims of abuse) and I think I take threats and intrusions into my safe space persoanlly when I shouldn't. I don't react like I want to run them off the road or any road rage, but it upsets me more than it should (sometimes I have trouble sleeping for a few nights!) I agree that everyone should be treated as a suspect bad driver, but what amazed me was the other day I had a fast car swerve across two lanes of traffic right in front of me as I was in the offramp lane (and I was going the speed limit with a safe distance between the car in front of and behind me). And then as I slowed down to allow a safe distance betwween me and him, another car did the exact same thing!!! I started slowing doan again to allow a safe distance but I must admit I said seomthing under my breath that these two idiots should go race seomweher where they can't endanger anyone, and just as I did the car in front of me turned it's siren on - it was an unmarked police. Somehow that made me even angrier that this polica car had reckelessly endnager all of us to get at a the other car. I guess you really can't trust ANY other drivers! Cheers A.G.
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