By what age should a man have had his first long term relationship?

[crederer]

If I met a woman that was in her mid 20's and never had a relationship it'd be a red flag for me....and I have met one and it made me a bit nervous. She was also a virgin. Main reason why it concerned me is because most girls get really obsessive over their "first" love/one that took their virginity. Also, it made me think "what's wrong with her if she cant get a boyfriend?" Because she was fairly attractive. Above average face and a fit body (competitive swimmer).

[thatone]

Most men have a sizable libido but that doesn't mean they are on the prowl. If anything in my experience the most sexually predatory individuals I have known were all women. Men being constantly on the prowl is more of a female fantasy than a male reality.

 

I have not known males to go out of their peer group since no one was interested and use older women to start their sex life. This sounds like a cougar fantasy.

 

I wouldn't say that it's so cut and dried.

 

In my 30s I have dated both 10 years older and 10 years younger on the extremes. Looking at the older ones, they never lack for younger men. If/when we parted ways they simply moved on to a new one. The younger ones had typical young woman fantasies and baggage, be it recurring fascination with abusive ex, or tendency to cheat, poor sense of proper/improper behavior, whatever. Typical young girl bullsh*t that no man wants to deal with.

 

In terms of older women being more predatory, I think it's simply because they're more successful with men due to experience just as many older men are more successful than younger men due to experience.

 

In short, there's a reason why the cougar stereotype exists, and I don't think it's all about sexually predatory women. I think it has as much to do with the fact that people put as little effort into relationships as possible, and trade on their best traits. A younger woman has her looks so can get away with psychotic irrational behavior. An older woman does not have the younger one's looks so has to trade on her personality and general likability. Applying the often quoted truth that "no matter how good she looks some guy somewhere is tired of her sh*t", I think that explains why older women do not struggle to find younger men if they so desire.

[DannyMason]

are you sure it is learnable skill? because often times I have doubts in my mind that tell me you either have it or you don't, and when I mean "it", I mean "game", the ability to get a girlfriend

 

Pretty much everything can be learned in my opinion, but if you know me, you know I'm basically in the same boat you are, so take my opinions with a grain of salt.

[DannyMason]

If I met a woman that was in her mid 20's and never had a relationship it'd be a red flag for me....and I have met one and it made me a bit nervous. She was also a virgin. Main reason why it concerned me is because most girls get really obsessive over their "first" love/one that took their virginity. Also, it made me think "what's wrong with her if she cant get a boyfriend?" Because she was fairly attractive. Above average face and a fit body (competitive swimmer).

 

Send her my way!

[mortensorchid]

I think we all have our first LTR in our teens or early 20s. If you have not had one by then, then there is a problem. It was proven to me in a few situations ...

 

1) Commitment phobes - I have met a few guys who fall into the player category, as well as those who just won't commit but are not players who will be with someone for about 3 or 4 months, then end it. Once they start to get to know the woman they will just back off and move onto the next one. The newness starts to wear off and they are done.

 

2) Peter Pans - The man who broke my heart 12 years ago had never been in a LTR. The longest he had ever been with someone was 3 months and that ended because she moved away for a job and he never went after her. He told me that the first time he broke it off, then he never mentioned her again. He wanted to remain free and unattached because he was a hopeless romantic and he wanted to get another gf. He did not make one move towards it, then I got another bf about a year later and he was livid.

 

If you find that you are with one of those who has NEVER had a LTR, then you better reconsider the whole thing.

[fortyninethousand322]

I think we all have our first LTR in our teens or early 20s. If you have not had one by then, then there is a problem. It was proven to me in a few situations ...

 

1) Commitment phobes - I have met a few guys who fall into the player category, as well as those who just won't commit but are not players who will be with someone for about 3 or 4 months, then end it. Once they start to get to know the woman they will just back off and move onto the next one. The newness starts to wear off and they are done.

 

2) Peter Pans - The man who broke my heart 12 years ago had never been in a LTR. The longest he had ever been with someone was 3 months and that ended because she moved away for a job and he never went after her. He told me that the first time he broke it off, then he never mentioned her again. He wanted to remain free and unattached because he was a hopeless romantic and he wanted to get another gf. He did not make one move towards it, then I got another bf about a year later and he was livid.

 

If you find that you are with one of those who has NEVER had a LTR, then you better reconsider the whole thing.

 

This is a great post. I agree with all of it, especially the bold.

[mortensorchid]

This is a great post. I agree with all of it, especially the bold.

 

Thanks, guy.

[Els]

Pretty much everything can be learned in my opinion, but if you know me, you know I'm basically in the same boat you are, so take my opinions with a grain of salt.

 

Second this. Nobody is born knowing everything.