SorayaM Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Hello everyone!! I have a situation that has been bothering for the last few weeks. Like many of you I have had my heart broken in the past. Last year around this time I was an absolute wreck following a hard break up. I made it a mission that I would hold off on the dating thing until I was sure that I was ready and would stick to fulfilling my goals. All was well and going according to plan until two months ago. See, there is a guy who has been trying to "stomach the courage" to ask me out for about 4 years. Apparently I never read into his hints and he eventually decided to "let me go". Anyway, I never knew about this and would only say "hi" and "bye" to him which according to him "crushed him". Well about two months ago he confessed this all to me and finally asked me out. Naturally I was shocked at this revelation and decided to give him a try. Why not? After all he is handsome, has a good paying job and is physically my type. The only thing is that he is over a decade my senior. I am in my twenties and he is in his late 30's. He is also a father to two teenage sons who live with him full time. I know you're probably thinking I am kidding myself but truly, I do like him..in fact I like him a lot. Anyway, after having given him my number (which he asked for btw) and talking to him - often times for HOURS at a time, I started to learn that we had a lot in common. I explained to him that I am through with guys my age due to immaturity and I am through with the games. He ensured me he is different and also wanting to go steady. He asked if he could take me out. I couldn't go out with him at the time because I was busy. I don't know if it offended him but each time we would make plans to go out he would find some excuse. It went like this for about a month until finally I made the "mistake" of jokingly informing him of my displeasure in the form of a joke via text and he responded in a hostile manner stating he is not obligated to see me, that he is a busy man and that I am not his GF. I was hurt but it was all true. I apologized but he stopped talking to me for about two weeks. I couldn't understand why a man who claimed to be "crushing on me" for 4 years and who asked for my contact info would play the "I am too busy for you" card. I asked a few coworkers and let's just say the attitude was "girl, forget him! He is playing games with you! He's trying to [mess] with your head!" But why? It didn't and still doesn't make sense to me... I was confused and was so tempted to text him...I went against my better judgement and did it anyway. I asked if he was still mad and he told me he was not, that it was a misunderstanding but that he was so busy he couldn't focus on a relationship. I told him I understood and he was thankful... We did not talk for week... To make a long story short he eventually got back in touch with me, going to my job looking for me which I was informed about and the next time I saw him we had a heart to heart discussion. Everything was cool (or so I thought)..we had a date and for like a week he stayed in constant contact with me even came to my apartment and I was sure he had changed. Well two days ago (friday), he came by to see me..promised we would spend this weekend together and that he'd call me with the details..and do you think he did? No? You bet he didn't. So I waited..The morning of "our day" (saturday) came...the afternoon and then the evening!! I asked him yesterday via text, "what's the deal?" and he responded that it was the weather and he needed someone to be there for his children... (remember TEENAGE SONS) I told him that I don't think it will work out via text..and he hasn't responded to me... LS, what do you all think about this? I am just sick of the games. I know he is a busy man. I understand it's not easy being a parent. But what is with the games? I understand it all. It's just the principle..I'm thinking, "guy! if you knew you couldn't see me..why not CALL?..If you are not ready for a relationship, why did you pursue me so hard and for so long?" Idk. Do you think he is playing with me? Am I over thinking? Overreacting?
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 He told you he is not interested in a relationship with you, he's not, he just wants to keep you around, hanging, just in case, just because he likes to talk to somebody, who cares what his deal is? The point is, he is not good for you and prevents you from looking for other prospects. Did you sleep with him?
Author SorayaM Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 It sucks but I am beginning to believe he is trying to "keep me around just in case":(. And no, I did not sleep with him. We've never even kissed. lol But he's just too confusing. When he's acting like he's into me, I have his undivided attention. But when he gets in his mood, I don't hear from him...at all.
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Point is, he is bad for you. Try to move on. Best way to move on is date others. 1
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