I don't know how to get over my first love

May 24, 2013

I don't think I'm going to be able to fully start trying to move on for about another two months after her formal. Because I've kind of come to terms with her breaking up with me, but not really with the formal thing. Her status update a few weeks ago about looking for a date hurt me. And all I can think about is the photo she uploaded of her in her dress. It may seem like such a petty thing, and that I shouldn't really care about it, but for some reason I do.

its a very cruel behaviour to start posting stuff like that so soon. since i dont know her i cant say why. but some people do it for a reaction, maybe from you. but seriously, block these updates now. or remove/block her. and dont feel bad about it. she decided to brake up. and by doing that she told you that she didnt want you in her life. with that being said, you got all the right in the world to do the same thing. and dont think for a second she isnt reading your updates. by removing her from facebook doesnt mean youre pushing her further away either.

and if it makes you feel better. just type, going out with christine or something, a name she hasnt heard about. then block her updates. yes might seem a little childish, but who cares. if she's throwing it in your face you cant surely do the same thing. but do it once and then never again. because we all know that you really arent going out with anyone. and if someone asks, just say, yeah i met her at the mall or whatever.

The day that she broke up with me, and she was just holding me while I just cried on her shoulder (I couldn't restrain myself), and when I asked her if she still wanted to take me to the formal she said that I was the first person that she'd ask. And to me it was just a sign that we could still be friends, and that she didn't 'dislike' me, she just wanted to be friends.

people that breaks up with you arent going to be honest with you most of the times. its not because they dont feel sorry for you, dont like etc. its because they simply want to be nice with you. the best thing to say is, yeah i understand what youre saying and it might be for the best. are you lying here? not really. if she doesnt want you it really is for the best. and this is not gonna lower your chances either. cause the more you accept and respect her wishes and show her that youre not gonna cry over her and show her its her loss. then you cant loose. you might not win, but you sure arent going to loose.

But after a few weeks we kind of drifted apart, not because I had any dislike towards her, just because I felt like I needed some space after everything. But when I tried talking to her again she said stuff like she didn't want things to be awkward and stuff at the formal. But eventually I thought we had sorted things out and that we would still be fine. But a day or two later she said that her mum had set her up with someone else I was just so hurt and angry. Her friend had asked me if I wanted to go with her so I was between a rock and a hard place. I said to my ex that I'd rather go with her instead, and I had been asked by someone else. And apparently I'm manipulative because I didn't tell her who it was?

this really might be a thing to create jealousness towards you. wouldnt surprise me cause of her age. why in the world would her mom set her up with someone that fast. but i mean the world is a crazy place and you stop getting surprised. it might also be a way to not have to deal with you at this point. however. its also very strange that her friend asked you. im not gonna give you any false hope, but think about it. her "mom" sets her up" her friend wants to go with you". could be a test who knows?. you got to believe its legit. so basically we got this problem. "you told your ex you wanted to go with her instead" even if this is a way for her to test you or not, thats the worst thing u can do. dude go with her friend. first of all you really dont have to show any respect towards your ex after this at all. second of all youre acting way to desperate. call the girl up and ask her out. and remember, act happy and treat her like a lady. dont talk about your ex under any circumstances.

I felt like I was just being lead on the whole time just in case she didn't find a date. And all I can think of is her going off to the formal and having a great time with some random guy. When before everything had happened we were talking about how fun it was going to be etc. I know I'm not going to stop thinking about this for at least a few months, and it's really hindering my ability to move on. I mean, she knew that I'd be upset by it, but she chose to do it anyway.

dont think about this bull**** talk from her. people actually remove their makeup to look more sad. they tell you something theyve been thinking about for hours before breaking up. how should i tell him etc. doesnt matter what they tell you. if theyre telling you youre great. well wow why dont you stay then? if theyre telling you youre ****, not gonna feel great either. its all just words, the only person that know if its truly legit is the person breaking up with you. and why man?? why would you go out with her when she breaks up with you and even worse, telling you she doesnt want a relationship?. do you see what im telling you here? where is the respect for yourself??. sorry for harsh words but if you dont respect yourself. how could she respect you?.

i know ive told you this but, go out with her friend for the love of god. and dont look at your ex during the time. if she says hi, just smile and say hi, then walk away. treat her friend well and have fun. you dont have to get together with this girl. but please man, dont stay inside the house.

May 24, 2013

You are blowing this formal thing way out of proportion. Prom sucks dude. No one really cares about it after it's done. Don't let that stop your healing. I barely remember the name of the girl I took to prom.

May 24, 2013

I was going to go with her friend, but she's the same friend that started abusing me that night, and had already found another date. And she believes I was emotionally blackmailing my ex. More or less she hates me. Both my ex and her friend have already defriended and blocked me. I'm just basically going over what happened a week and a half ago.

Edited May 24, 2013 by Peter102

May 24, 2013

As so many people have said , you're story is also similar to mine bro. I'm not the same age as you but my ex is. We were 3 years apart she's 18 now and I'm 21. Although we had different problems the same things come in to play; that is she broke up with me. All I can tell you is that you should try your best to take it slow. Now that I look back from when I was 17 till now (4 years later) is that you learn a lot. I think that you handled the conversation with your ex really well compared to me. I would have cursed my ex out and said so many things I'd regret. The best advice I can give you and trust me on this because I've been on your situation with the break up , and space, and she needs time ect.. with this same girl for 3 years. A lot of the choices that your ex is making is because she is still immature and doesn't completely know what she wants. Sorry but it's the truth with your ex as it was with mine. Put it this way if you really want to be with your ex ever again the slightest chance you have is to apply the NC. Idk how but it works. I'm not saying use this as a tactic to get her back but rather heal and think more clearly. Your ex will miss you and either you or her will talk again after some time and things will be different. This whole break up as most of them are so messy that you will go crazy trying to fix it! Give yourself time. I understand you so well about her being with another man in prom. I recently had the same dilemma and after 1 month of NC we talked again and things flowed so much better. Bro take it slow and give yourself time to heal. If it's meant to be it will be. Good luck and keep us posted with what decisions you make.

PS: Me and her ended up going to prom and it went great!

just thought I'd add that a couple weeks after she asked for time, and that she doesn't want to be with me. This just shows how immature some girls are as well as how unsure.Not all girls at this age are like this but most of them are. Now all that I have left to do after some failed attempts to get back with her is to apply NC starting today. You're really not alone there are so many people going through break ups and are in pain. It's hard but take it a step at a time and do the things you love, and let time take care of the mess. Vent all your pain her if you want.

Edited May 24, 2013 by Chrisal23

May 24, 2013

I was going to go with her friend, but she's the same friend that started abusing me that night, and had already found another date. And she believes I was emotionally blackmailing my ex. More or less she hates me. Both my ex and her friend have already defriended and blocked me. I'm just basically going over what happened a week and a half ago.

abusing you how?. stop using the word hate. you dont know that. hate is a really strong word and normally it takes more then you can imagine to hate someone that you known for a long time and have had a good friendship with.

what you should have done was to tell her that you understand the breakup. and tell her that youre okey with it. who cares if youre hiding the truth, she broke up with you, which means you got to accept and respect that. by giving her more attention then you probably did when you were together will not bring her back. show her youre okay. start dating others, go to the prom with a girl.

she did what you should have done. removed you from Facebook. she's going with another guy. well you should have gone with her friend or someone else. if she can do whatever she wants, you can too.

this is what you should do from now on. 1. get a date 2. take her to prom 3. dont look at your ex during the whole time, definitely dont talk to her. 4. dont talk to this girl about your ex. 5. if you really like this girl, ask her out again, but take it slow and get to know her. dont treat her like a rebound. this will give you a better healing, a chance to find someone else, and it wont lower your chances for reconciliation with your ex. you sir, got nothing to loose.

May 25, 2013

abusing you how?. stop using the word hate. you dont know that. hate is a really strong word and normally it takes more then you can imagine to hate someone that you known for a long time and have had a good friendship with.

what you should have done was to tell her that you understand the breakup. and tell her that youre okey with it. who cares if youre hiding the truth, she broke up with you, which means you got to accept and respect that. by giving her more attention then you probably did when you were together will not bring her back. show her youre okay. start dating others, go to the prom with a girl.

she did what you should have done. removed you from Facebook. she's going with another guy. well you should have gone with her friend or someone else. if she can do whatever she wants, you can too.

this is what you should do from now on. 1. get a date 2. take her to prom 3. dont look at your ex during the whole time, definitely dont talk to her. 4. dont talk to this girl about your ex. 5. if you really like this girl, ask her out again, but take it slow and get to know her. dont treat her like a rebound. this will give you a better healing, a chance to find someone else, and it wont lower your chances for reconciliation with your ex. you sir, got nothing to loose.

We go to different schools (both single sex). And her prom is next month, but mine isn't for another 5 months. So I won't be attending her formal.

And by abusing me, I mean her friend was calling me a dickhead, *******, swearig at me, and saying that I'm emotionally blackmailing my ex, and saying that I never deserved her (my ex), I think you can find some of the conversation on the first page of this thread in post #9 as well. She started abusing me because apparently my ex was upset.

May 26, 2013

We go to different schools (both single sex). And her prom is next month, but mine isn't for another 5 months. So I won't be attending her formal.

And by abusing me, I mean her friend was calling me a dickhead, *******, swearig at me, and saying that I'm emotionally blackmailing my ex, and saying that I never deserved her (my ex), I think you can find some of the conversation on the first page of this thread in post #9 as well. She started abusing me because apparently my ex was upset.

well forget about this now. people say mean things, doesnt mean they hate you. and why bother?, get a girl and go to prom. the worst thing you can do is to stay home thinking about everything.

May 26, 2013

well forget about this now. people say mean things, doesnt mean they hate you. and why bother?, get a girl and go to prom. the worst thing you can do is to stay home thinking about everything.

I'm having an emotional relapse at the moment. This whole prom thing is so stupid and pointless but it's really eating me up inside. I went onto my other FB account and looked at her FB and saw her upload a photo of herself. And that she's friends with another guy on FB (she doesn't add a lot of people). And seeing that guy that she's taking is good looking at stuff etc. I guess I brought this upon myself.

I just wish it could all end. I mean, I went out with friends last night and had the best time that I have had since breaking up, not a worry in the world. But now today I'm just having a total emotional breakdown again. In regards for my formal at the end of the year, I'll be able to find someone else without much trouble so I'm not even concerned about it. Just knowing that she's having the time of her life without me at the moment sucks. Meeting new guys and stuff. And I was talking to my friend he said that I was kind of a dick by not telling my ex that her friend had invited me (I said to my ex who had invited, and I said 'Does it matter?" because at the time I thought it doesn't because she either wanted to go with me or she didn't). But I guess there's no point regretting it because it's in the past. Her birthday is tomorrow as well, so I'll just be thinking about that all day most likely. And I'll have to restrain myself from going and meeting her after she gets off work. And I'll think of all the things we were planning on doing on her birthday and stuff. She'll be having a great day, getting attention from friends and loved ones while I'll just be sulking which I really wish wasn't the case.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Peter102

May 26, 2013

I'm having an emotional relapse at the moment. This whole prom thing is so stupid and pointless but it's really eating me up inside. I went onto my other FB account and looked at her FB and saw her upload a photo of herself. And that she's friends with another guy on FB (she doesn't add a lot of people). And seeing that guy that she's taking is good looking at stuff etc. I guess I brought this upon myself.

I just wish it could all end. I mean, I went out with friends last night and had the best time that I have had since breaking up, not a worry in the world. But now today I'm just having a total emotional breakdown again. In regards for my formal at the end of the year, I'll be able to find someone else without much trouble so I'm not even concerned about it. Just knowing that she's having the time of her life without me at the moment sucks. Meeting new guys and stuff. And I was talking to my friend he said that I was kind of a dick by not telling my ex that her friend had invited me (I said to my ex who had invited, and I said 'Does it matter?" because at the time I thought it doesn't because she either wanted to go with me or she didn't). But I guess there's no point regretting it because it's in the past. Her birthday is tomorrow as well, so I'll just be thinking about that all day most likely. And I'll have to restrain myself from going and meeting her after she gets off work. And I'll think of all the things we were planning on doing on her birthday and stuff. She'll be having a great day, getting attention from friends and loved ones while I'll just be sulking which I really wish wasn't the case.

you have no idea what so ever if she's okey or not. you cant think straight right now. and you havent learned anything about a harsh breakup before youre over it. because thats the only time you actually can look back and truly understand everything that went wrong. like i said earlier, no matter what anyone says in here it most likely wont affect your actions if you're feeling depressed. the only thing that will affect your actions is by going against your own will. i cant stress enough how important it is to not chase her.

looking at her facebook is the worst thing you can do, trust me it hurts removing someone you love/loved from Facebook. but in the end its the best thing to do. cause its the easiest way to stalk someone without them knowing about it. since you dont have her anymore i suggest that you block her completely. so at least there will be a barrier for you to pass before looking at her Facebook. and also she wont be able to look at yours. this means you wont be thinking, is she looking at my status etc. if she wants to contact you she will trust me. dont know if you had some drinks yesterday, but that is something that will mess you up maybe during the night and definitely the next day. you really dont have to tell your ex who youre dating, going out with etc. yeah sure hanging with her friends might be tough on her, but in the end its not her decision and she dumped you, always remember that. if anything she should be mad at her friend for asking you. jealousness is more powerful then people think. and also the best way to get someone back. not by throwing it to their face, but for them to just know that youre moving on faster then they are is sometimes really hard to know.

youre feeling sorry for yourself i understand. but really, looking at her Facebook will not help you. hoping that she wont date someone else then you ever again will not help you. block her, get on a date. theres simply nothing you can do to make her not dating someone else. it really doesnt matter what she does. sometimes the best thing to get someone back is to let go and do foolish mistakes to realize that you were the better one. and the best thing you can do is to move on. i dont see why her friend would ask you out then get mad at you. young girls i tell you...i know its nice to get some feedback on loveshack and im really trying hard to not just give you a short advice cause i know that people won't listen. and you got to listen now. i can almost promise you that you will wake up one day and realize that you didnt miss the relationship as much as you missed the feeling of not being alone. cause thats what its normally about in a first relationship.

May 29, 2013

you have no idea what so ever if she's okey or not. you cant think straight right now. and you havent learned anything about a harsh breakup before youre over it. because thats the only time you actually can look back and truly understand everything that went wrong. like i said earlier, no matter what anyone says in here it most likely wont affect your actions if you're feeling depressed. the only thing that will affect your actions is by going against your own will. i cant stress enough how important it is to not chase her.

looking at her facebook is the worst thing you can do, trust me it hurts removing someone you love/loved from Facebook. but in the end its the best thing to do. cause its the easiest way to stalk someone without them knowing about it. since you dont have her anymore i suggest that you block her completely. so at least there will be a barrier for you to pass before looking at her Facebook. and also she wont be able to look at yours. this means you wont be thinking, is she looking at my status etc. if she wants to contact you she will trust me. dont know if you had some drinks yesterday, but that is something that will mess you up maybe during the night and definitely the next day. you really dont have to tell your ex who youre dating, going out with etc. yeah sure hanging with her friends might be tough on her, but in the end its not her decision and she dumped you, always remember that. if anything she should be mad at her friend for asking you. jealousness is more powerful then people think. and also the best way to get someone back. not by throwing it to their face, but for them to just know that youre moving on faster then they are is sometimes really hard to know.

youre feeling sorry for yourself i understand. but really, looking at her Facebook will not help you. hoping that she wont date someone else then you ever again will not help you. block her, get on a date. theres simply nothing you can do to make her not dating someone else. it really doesnt matter what she does. sometimes the best thing to get someone back is to let go and do foolish mistakes to realize that you were the better one. and the best thing you can do is to move on. i dont see why her friend would ask you out then get mad at you. young girls i tell you...i know its nice to get some feedback on loveshack and im really trying hard to not just give you a short advice cause i know that people won't listen. and you got to listen now. i can almost promise you that you will wake up one day and realize that you didnt miss the relationship as much as you missed the feeling of not being alone. cause thats what its normally about in a first relationship.

The last few days have been a little tough, especially on her birthday. I accidentally glimpsed at my friends laptop scene and saw her in his news feed, but since then I haven't look at it, which I'm happy with myself about. So just a little over two weeks contact now and I'm feeling pretty good today, but I don't know how long that will last.

I've started exercising daily and gone on a diet, trying to get healthier and looking better, so hopefully I stick to it. As well as this I messaged a girl that I had a crush on in primary school. She's a little out of my league lookswise and socially, and is involved with the popular guys at my school, and I'm not sure if she's still going out with one of them. But she's nice, so hopefully I'll eventually ask her to go to my formal with me. She's really the only option I have available so I have my fingers crossed, and that she doesn't go with someone else from my school.

Edited May 29, 2013 by TheMink

May 29, 2013

did you just change your username?, thats awesome news. keep it up. i dont like that thing "out of my league". girls don't care as much about the outside as guys do. not even close. most girls just want a man not a boy. and i mean you can go to those things as friends. might still be a lot of fun. and you can definitely get someone to go with you if you try. but try to not think to much about that. have fun and ask someone out for a date, the prom is just a plus. i really think youre more concerned about being lonely then you are about not being with her.

May 30, 2013

did you just change your username?, thats awesome news. keep it up. i dont like that thing "out of my league". girls don't care as much about the outside as guys do. not even close. most girls just want a man not a boy. and i mean you can go to those things as friends. might still be a lot of fun. and you can definitely get someone to go with you if you try. but try to not think to much about that. have fun and ask someone out for a date, the prom is just a plus. i really think youre more concerned about being lonely then you are about not being with her.

Yeah I've got a different username, sorry for any confusion. I'm quite glad with how I'm going at the moment in regards to trying to move on. I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to go to the formal with this girl that I started talking to, and it would be nice getting a friend out of it. In regards to starting to date again, I'm not really looking for much at the moment, at least not until I finish school at the end of the year. I don't think anything will develop between this girl and I. Mainly because she's the type of girl that goes to parties on weekends, while I just sit home and play video games with friends, it's just how I am.

In regards to how I'm dealing with everything, it's become a little bit easier, however when I do start thinking about things I get the same types of emotions. More or less at the moment I just think about how she was unhappy towards the end of everything, yet she just kind of faked things. But I know there's no point to be thinking about it now anyway, it's in the past. I don't really want anything to do with her, but a part of me still wants her to message me just so I can ignore it.

As it gets closer and closer to her formal I'm guessing that I'll start thinking about it more often and will start to relapse. I'm going to try my hardest not to cave and look at the photos on Facebook. Even though they'll probably pop up in my feed because of mutual friends. I realised today that I am going to a concert the same night as her formal, which will do one of two things. It will keep my mind off the fact that it's her formal, or I'll be thinking about the formal the whole night and will ruin my experience at the concert.

Overall things are a bit up and down right now still, but generally better than they have been I guess.

May 31, 2013

Yeah I've got a different username, sorry for any confusion. I'm quite glad with how I'm going at the moment in regards to trying to move on. I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to go to the formal with this girl that I started talking to, and it would be nice getting a friend out of it. In regards to starting to date again, I'm not really looking for much at the moment, at least not until I finish school at the end of the year. I don't think anything will develop between this girl and I. Mainly because she's the type of girl that goes to parties on weekends, while I just sit home and play video games with friends, it's just how I am.

In regards to how I'm dealing with everything, it's become a little bit easier, however when I do start thinking about things I get the same types of emotions. More or less at the moment I just think about how she was unhappy towards the end of everything, yet she just kind of faked things. But I know there's no point to be thinking about it now anyway, it's in the past. I don't really want anything to do with her, but a part of me still wants her to message me just so I can ignore it.

As it gets closer and closer to her formal I'm guessing that I'll start thinking about it more often and will start to relapse. I'm going to try my hardest not to cave and look at the photos on Facebook. Even though they'll probably pop up in my feed because of mutual friends. I realised today that I am going to a concert the same night as her formal, which will do one of two things. It will keep my mind off the fact that it's her formal, or I'll be thinking about the formal the whole night and will ruin my experience at the concert.

Overall things are a bit up and down right now still, but generally better than they have been I guess.

if youre using another username because you want more answers about things, i just got to tell you its not worth it. you simply got to listen to what people got to say that actually went through this. people thats older then you are. not new people on this site that are in the same situation. playing video games is fun and if you like that you should do it. but you need to get outside the house to grow as a person. this world is getting more and more addicted to electronics and its really hard to get any knowledge about relationship, life etc. only you can choose how to live your life. and maybe ten years from now you might look back realizing that you wasted time. she lost attraction, they all do. its not about your looks. its about doing the same things over and over again. people want new and fresh. they want you to be spontaneous sometimes. maybe you played videogames to much? of course you want her to contact you, heck i would love seeing my ex contacting me even though im together with someone. but the difference is that compared to you I'm actually not feeling the need for it. i guess it would just make give me an ego boost. and one day you'll be feeling the same way as i do.

i know that i already told you this but block her. she removed you, why cant you block her? she's not coming back because youre still available. by watching your Facebook page "she might actually do that" youre not gaining any points by having an empty page that reminds her that that you dont do anything.

go out and have fun, and well maybe theres a chance for reconciliation. but right now, move on and go out with this girl. who knows? maybe you actually like her. you are in the stage that makes you jealous towards your ex, you want what you dont have anymore, and you miss the feeling of not being alone more then the actual person.

June 3, 2013

if youre using another username because you want more answers about things, i just got to tell you its not worth it. you simply got to listen to what people got to say that actually went through this. people thats older then you are. not new people on this site that are in the same situation. playing video games is fun and if you like that you should do it. but you need to get outside the house to grow as a person. this world is getting more and more addicted to electronics and its really hard to get any knowledge about relationship, life etc. only you can choose how to live your life. and maybe ten years from now you might look back realizing that you wasted time. she lost attraction, they all do. its not about your looks. its about doing the same things over and over again. people want new and fresh. they want you to be spontaneous sometimes. maybe you played videogames to much? of course you want her to contact you, heck i would love seeing my ex contacting me even though im together with someone. but the difference is that compared to you I'm actually not feeling the need for it. i guess it would just make give me an ego boost. and one day you'll be feeling the same way as i do.

i know that i already told you this but block her. she removed you, why cant you block her? she's not coming back because youre still available. by watching your Facebook page "she might actually do that" youre not gaining any points by having an empty page that reminds her that that you dont do anything.
go out and have fun, and well maybe theres a chance for reconciliation. but right now, move on and go out with this girl. who knows? maybe you actually like her. you are in the stage that makes you jealous towards your ex, you want what you dont have anymore, and you miss the feeling of not being alone more then the actual person.

I just changed my username so it matches all my other online aliases, it was just bugging me. I'm confident with how I'm going at the moment, and I have no real intention of contacting her, even though I slightly want to. I've blocked her on FB as well. In regards of her losing attraction I don't think it was so much not doing enough stuff together, I never played video games so much that it hindered the relationship, nowhere near, it's just a hobby. I was always the person that was trying to organise to do things on the weekend, of which she'd usually have to cancel because of various issues like her family and she used to say during the middle of our relationship that she felt smothered etc. I felt like I was spontaneous and stuff, I always tried to make things exciting.

From doing some reading on the forums I stumbled across this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/291762-i-am-no-longer-attracted-you-thread

And reading the first two posts, it relates completely to my/her situation, and her being a poster for GIGS. As she came from a damaged household, and never really learnt how to love etc. It's all in the post above. And really I'm just wondering if there is a way to make her realise this? I had this crazy urge at one stage to go and link her the post haha

I'm taking action to moving on and improving myself, however any thoughts of reconciliation with her are years in the future, I'll probably make another post about my thoughts on that whole situation another time.

Edited June 3, 2013 by TheMink

June 4, 2013

I just changed my username so it matches all my other online aliases, it was just bugging me. I'm confident with how I'm going at the moment, and I have no real intention of contacting her, even though I slightly want to. I've blocked her on FB as well. In regards of her losing attraction I don't think it was so much not doing enough stuff together, I never played video games so much that it hindered the relationship, nowhere near, it's just a hobby. I was always the person that was trying to organise to do things on the weekend, of which she'd usually have to cancel because of various issues like her family and she used to say during the middle of our relationship that she felt smothered etc. I felt like I was spontaneous and stuff, I always tried to make things exciting.

From doing some reading on the forums I stumbled across this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/291762-i-am-no-longer-attracted-you-thread

And reading the first two posts, it relates completely to my/her situation, and her being a poster for GIGS. As she came from a damaged household, and never really learnt how to love etc. It's all in the post above. And really I'm just wondering if there is a way to make her realise this? I had this crazy urge at one stage to go and link her the post haha

I'm taking action to moving on and improving myself, however any thoughts of reconciliation with her are years in the future, I'll probably make another post about my thoughts on that whole situation another time.

do not link anything. it will just be a sign that you're still chasing her. and trust me she will deny everything. a piece of text wont make her change her mind. and it will make you feel even worse in the end. nobody can tell you the reason to why she felt this way. but just because you thought you were being spontaneous doesnt mean that she thought so. if youre tired of someone whether its your friend your parents or your girlfriend. it can really just mean that you need some time off. do other things with your life. its hard to get attached at your age. being to nice is never good. i really think that she felt she could make you do whatever she told you too. thats something you gotta work on. to show her that you love her but you dont need her to live your life is important. the person that cares the least always controls the relationship sad enough.

you need to find a balance. be able to put your foot down. dont let anyone control you. even if its the hottest girl in the universe. the moment you let her be the boss is the moment she will loose attraction to you. ive had tons of fights in relationships. and if theres anything ive learned it is that if i disagree with something I'm gonna tell her that. acting upset and mad will never make you win an argument. the more you chase her, the more she controls you. dont let her do that. always keep calm.

ive seen way to many gigs treads. and ive seen way to many people falling for it on this site. theres no syndrome. people just loose attraction to other people. and they "always" think that something better might be out there, thats why they break up. why would they break up if they thought you were the one?. sure she might come back for several reasons. might be cause she couldnt find something better. might be because she misses you. it could even be because she's miserable and need some closure. however, those gigstreads gives nothing but false hope. even if she comes back doesnt mean she will stay. especially if the relationship looks the same as it did earlier.

keep calm, think about what people told you. and go out and have fun. it might hit you tomorrow on a date that you dont miss her. you just miss the feeling of not being alone. it happened to me one.

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I don't know how to get over my first love

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