vixee Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 This is for those who gave me advise that helped.. There was a lot of mess between me, H & OM. H became violent at one point. I went away to stay with a relative. After 9 days of NC with H, he came around we had a mature discussion after years!! I told him that there were gaps in our relationships that were filled by OM so I feel I got carried away. What was bothering H the most was not the emotional aspect but the physical part of relationship!!. He asked in many ways if we had sex! like , where all did you meet, how many times, did he touch you, did you sleep with him, if you made out with him..my answer was always the same that I did not! He was convinced eventually (as it sounded). We both agreed some more time away to untangle our thoughts. After a week I went to H and asked if he will take me back and he hugged me tight and cried and we both cried a lot. Its been a month I am trying to maintain no nonsense behavior. NC with OM. But every day I think about what happened! What I did! I wonder how and why I got carried away? I over-think about all this. When I travel to work, when I am cooking, basically when I am on my own and no one is talking to me, I think or wonder what gotten into me!! Infidelity was a crime for me how I committed it!!! I wish somehow I can stop thinking about past and focus on present and move on.
Jonah Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 That past history will fade out. Find a way to fill your soul with light to obscure the darkness. Be good to your man. Do know that you should be treated quite well always. Stand your ground in how you are treated. Don't let your H start the cycle of taking you for granted again. Give him hell early and often if he starts that crap.
CantgetoveritNY Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 Good luck to you Vixee. I think Jonah is right. Over time this memory of the OM and what you did fade for you and your H. But don't let it fade so much that you (or H) don't realize that anyone can slip into an affair. Keep vigilant. Don't let yourself do what you found out was beneath you again. If you find yourself that unhappy again, leave. Go out with your head held high. Don't look for an exit affair. You know now that is a dishonorable way to end a relationship and if you need to end it you will find a better way. Hopefully you won't need to do that. I hope that you and your H will find peace and be happy together. Best wishes!
Author vixee Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 Hope so. We do not discuss about what happened anymore. I for some reason did say something couple of weeks back, H interrupted in the middle of the sentence and said don't want to hear anything about it or him again and we changed the subject.
road Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 This is for those who gave me advise that helped.. There was a lot of mess between me, H & OM. H became violent at one point. I went away to stay with a relative. After 9 days of NC with H, he came around we had a mature discussion after years!! I told him that there were gaps in our relationships that were filled by OM so I feel I got carried away. What was bothering H the most was not the emotional aspect but the physical part of relationship!!. He asked in many ways if we had sex! like , where all did you meet, how many times, did he touch you, did you sleep with him, if you made out with him..my answer was always the same that I did not! He was convinced eventually (as it sounded). We both agreed some more time away to untangle our thoughts. After a week I went to H and asked if he will take me back and he hugged me tight and cried and we both cried a lot. Its been a month I am trying to maintain no nonsense behavior. NC with OM. I do not remember your story. How many breaks, length of, and how much the OM weighed in on your decision to separate all those times. I do hope you did not trickle truth your BH. Hard for me to believe nothing happened with the OM. OM do not hang around just to be friends. Get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley.
Author vixee Posted May 15, 2013 Author Posted May 15, 2013 I do not remember your story. How many breaks, length of, and how much the OM weighed in on your decision to separate all those times. I do hope you did not trickle truth your BH. Hard for me to believe nothing happened with the OM. OM do not hang around just to be friends. Get the book Surviving An Affair by Dr Harley. Well the last conversation I had with OM was not very pleasant, I basically told him that I get that he did all the hard work to get into my knickers and that is not going to happen. He was offended and said he is better off not having anything to do with me. Then I confessed everything to H, we had a lot of mess with H being violent, me moving out and then what I updated. Why do you think I need that book? I will look into it, what is it all about?
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