Hooligan316 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 8 or 9 months ago I met a girl in college who I really hit it off with. I'm by no means a ladies man, so lacked the confidence to ask out this stunningly beautiful girl, even though I felt a connection between us. After a while our two groups of friends sort of assimilated, so we were seeing each other every day. As time went on, my attraction grew and I was ready to make a move. When she entered a brief, casual sexual relationship with one of my more confident friends on the night I was going to ask her out, I was convinced that she saw me as just a friend, so I respectfully backed down. Their relationship didn't last too long and my friend told me recently that he ended it because he noticed how hard it was for me to see them together, and said that he'd be happier seeing me with her. Just when I thought I'd gotten over her, a few nights ago she got drunk and confessed to one of my other friends that she's really liked me all year but she never thought it would be reciprocated, and she's been depressed because of it. The one time I've seen her since she revealed her feelings was in a crowded room, so I couldn't intimately talk to her. She kept stealing glances at me, then when I smiled at her she almost started crying and had to leave the room. Unfortunately she's moving abroad to work for the summer and I'll probably only see her one night before she goes. I've decided that even though it would be geographically inconvenient for a few months, I can't let her leave without telling her how I feel. She and I both suffer from low self esteem and social anxiety disorder, so even if she decides she doesn't want to be together, I just want her to know that there's someone who thinks she's amazing. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I should tell her? Keep in mind that I'm not just looking for a night of sex before she leaves. I genuinely care for her and I'd love to start a relationship with her when she returns. Also, she seems awkward around me recently, and she's been failing to text me back the last couple of days (she's at home, but she needs to come back to college to clear out her house before summer), so I worry that she's decided to try and get over me by distancing herself from me until she leaves. Should I ring her and tell her I need to talk to her privately? Should I ring her today and tell her how I feel in the hope that she'll make the effort to spend a day or two with me before she goes? Or should I hope the opportunity presents itself naturally to tell her how I feel?
imtooconfused Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 In vino vertias (in wine there is truth). Her drunken confession is the most reliable sign that she is interested in you. She knows you heard about her confession and is probably embarrassed that you know. This does not change her feelings, it just makes it more uncomfortable for her. But she is leaving for a short time (and a few months is a reasonably short time). She will return. Therefore my suggestion is to connect with her for a casual lunch or coffee to properly say goodbye. At this meeting you can tell her your feelings, wish her a safe trip and most importantly can't wait until she returns. 1
ITw Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 Yes call her. Ask her out for drinks 1 on 1 and tell her. Be honest and sincere.
missunshine Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 You might be in love with her, but from what I read about her previous behavior, I don't think this girl is serious about relationships if you know what I mean. I am sorry to tell you this, but I think that's the case. You are much more into her than she is into her, and you might end up broken. However, I know you don't want to let go of this , and you want to try, because you love her, that's just natural, but bear in mind what I told you before. She doesn't sound like a serious girl to me.
ITw Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 You might be in love with her, but from what I read about her previous behavior, I don't think this girl is serious about relationships if you know what I mean. I am sorry to tell you this, but I think that's the case. You are much more into her than she is into her, and you might end up broken. However, I know you don't want to let go of this , and you want to try, because you love her, that's just natural, but bear in mind what I told you before. She doesn't sound like a serious girl to me. I disagree. The OP says she's depressed over not being with him, stealing glances at him, and trying not to cry. She sounds like she has it just as bad for him as he does for her.
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