rather_confused_girl Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 OK so recently BU after 2 year relationship. It's been about 3 weeks now and I talk to him daily. I can honestly say I am completely over my feelings for him at this point. I have gotten every question answered, he has truly been a saint answering my every whim and weak moment. So since I am able to feel nothing for him now but goodwill and friendship does that mean I never loved him? Im worried this abrupt change of emotions might be another stage of denial. I just don't want the feelings to come back and not sure if I am at some weird stage where feelings go away and then come rushing back out of nowhere. Scares me to death to think that cause I don't want them!!
emva07 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 why did you guys break up? If you just decided to break up just because then maybe not. If it was a gradual thing where he kept disappointing you time after time that doesn't mean you never loved him, just means you chose to love yourself and leave. 1
KatZee Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Well, you do talk to him daily. Perhaps it's the fact that it's not really sunk in that you're completely broken up? 1
emva07 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Well, you do talk to him daily. Perhaps it's the fact that it's not really sunk in that you're completely broken up? Very possible. 1
carhill Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 So since I am able to feel nothing for him now but goodwill and friendship does that mean I never loved him? Presuming your prior love was elemental and sincere, 3 weeks sounds awfully brief to process it out to polite disinterest. Reflecting back on my marriage, indeed I did love my then wife very much and if I were to identify any one aspect I 'miss' about that era, it would be missing who I was when I loved her. All that remains now are those memories and polite disinterest. However, it took a few years to get to that place. Can't imagine 3 weeks. Good luck. 1
Author rather_confused_girl Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 He broke up with me saying he loved me but not "in love" And it's what I feared I was in some sort of denial about cause I didn't really lose him but this hey buddy buddy stuff is killing me! Ive been crying all day, it's just hit me out of nowhere I don't want to lose him he is my best friend
happydate Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 He broke up with me saying he loved me but not "in love" And it's what I feared I was in some sort of denial about cause I didn't really lose him but this hey buddy buddy stuff is killing me! Ive been crying all day, it's just hit me out of nowhere I don't want to lose him he is my best friend Here's an oxymoron. Best friends don't get dumped or being the dumper or dumpee. So you can see the problem here and he's being nice. He's not being authentic too, because he's just being nice to ease the BU pain between you and him and that he might want to be your backdoor guy. In fact, if he's being authentic then he would go NC and be in an FBI missing person report never to be seen ever. Just be careful that you don't end up being his FWB or use you for casual sex as buddy buddy stuff, just because dating and getting sex from women aren't just as easy as flipping an on/off switch either in the real world for most men. That would just prolong your healing process. Most men are commitment based, because it's usually harder for men to keep a woman before being dumped. Some have to resort by playing games with women just to stay afloat and in unhealthy relationships. Just saying that he loved you but not into you means that, he liked the sex and wanted to get laid and you were his easy prey, but that he only thought of you as that, a piece of meat. We experienced player men can tell that of you woman. Now perhaps he found a woman of his dreams but isn't sure if he can keep her, so he's probably keeping you around as a backup plan. No sex there, but wow sex here. Win win.
Author rather_confused_girl Posted May 13, 2013 Author Posted May 13, 2013 I supposed that all could be very true Love ain't it ****ing grand
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